What would you do?

["Earth!" 503]

upsets me reading how some people have it so hard and thank god i dont.

you lot are worth you weight in gold and have my upmost respect

[MoChara 1,632]

Maybe this thread will change some peoples perspective on people on benefits - as in not to judge before they know the whole story

[graham4877 1,181]

f**k ME I'M SURE PEOPLE WHO LOOK AFTER THEIR CHILD BECAUSE THAT CHILD NEEDS 24.7 CARE WOULD LOVE TO GO OUT TO WORK.. f*****g JOBS ONLY 8 HOURS A DAY...TRY WORKING ROUND THE CLOCK 24/7 365 DAYS A YEAR

[gnasher16 30,598]

I have no idea about autism what it is or cures/treatment etc not because im ignorant just its not something ive ever been around......but ive known a young lad with downs syndrome for the last 8 or 9 years,met him through a charity i support......he loves his football and we often take him to different grounds he,s a lovely lad.....the times ive nearly got in scrapes over peoples attitudes to him.....sometimes ive clocked peoples faces ( especially groups of lads ) and seen them just getting ready to say something ......and usually a look is enough to stop them in their tracks,but occasionally you get the Rambo types who think they,re something special until they see 3 or 4 big nasty looking fuckers ready to pounce at the first sign of trouble........it really does amaze me that in these days of obssessive anti racism anti this anti that.................that taking the piss out of those less fortunate than ourself is still so widely tolerated.

[gonetoearth 5,144]

Grew up with a lad downs he played all the games through the summer holls with us all and was treated as one of the lads

How proud we're. We all when are mate competed in the para Olympics. The new title a beleave is special. Needs

 

WELL ARE MATE WAS VERY SPECIAL

Edited July 24, 2012 by gonetoearth

[spade 224]

My eldest lad has just turned 16 and has ASD and ADHD, being diagnose when he was about 5. On occasion, like all kids, he can be naughty but no way do we use the diagnosis as an excuse. However there are lots of times when, as a result of his problems, he displays behaviour that is completely outside what you would expect for somebody his age. We've had the usual "bad parents", "needs a good hiding" etc.Because there is no outwards sign of a disability it can and does lead to ignorance. It is extremely hard work sometimes but you just have to get on with it. He's just finished school having spent the last year at special needs school and it is the only "good" year he has had and he starts at a special needs college in September where as well as doing horticulture qualifications he will also be helped towards being able to live independently at some stage.

[MoChara 1,632]

I have no idea about autism what it is or cures/treatment etc not because im ignorant just its not something ive ever been around......but ive known a young lad with downs syndrome for the last 8 or 9 years,met him through a charity i support......he loves his football and we often take him to different grounds he,s a lovely lad.....the times ive nearly got in scrapes over peoples attitudes to him.....sometimes ive clocked peoples faces ( especially groups of lads ) and seen them just getting ready to say something ......and usually a look is enough to stop them in their tracks,but occasionally you get the Rambo types who think they,re something special until they see 3 or 4 big nasty looking fuckers ready to pounce at the first sign of trouble........it really does amaze me that in these days of obssessive anti racism anti this anti that.................that taking the piss out of those less fortunate than ourself is still so widely tolerated.

Know how you feel - the "stares" are the worst, biting your tongue and saying nothing can be one of the hardest things in the world to do sometimes, ive seen red quite a few times, and your right in saying a look can tell the arse holes exactly what you are about to do, if they dont stop staring.

And another thing is when as soon as people see the wheelchair they look away as quick as can be, as if to say im not looking or "not to make eye contact".. They wouldnt look away from a newborn in a pram like.

If people dont understand they should ask, it wouldnt offend anyone or make anyone feel awkward, i also think that parents should try and get their kids into some sort of socializing with people with learning difficulties - it means as when they are growing up and when they are in adulthood - they will have more knowledge of it and that people with disabilities are just the same as them. Because of my sisters disability i have been lucky in being around all different people in the day centers, people with downs syndrome, mental and physical disablity, and many more. My sisters condition is called - Angel-mans syndrome and she didnt get diagnosed until she was 3 year old, because no one had heard of it in them days ('s). And i know one thing for sure - i couldnt wish for a more loving, caring and fun BIG sister !! I wouldnt change her for the world, i love her just the way she is

[Ratreeper 441]

To anyone who doesn't understand what autism is, the latest Louis Theroux documentary was about exactly that. I can't see it on iplayer but it shouldn't be hard to find elsewhere.

[Lab 10,979]

I have no idea about autism what it is or cures/treatment etc not because im ignorant just its not something ive ever been around......but ive known a young lad with downs syndrome for the last 8 or 9 years,met him through a charity i support......he loves his football and we often take him to different grounds he,s a lovely lad.....the times ive nearly got in scrapes over peoples attitudes to him.....sometimes ive clocked peoples faces ( especially groups of lads ) and seen them just getting ready to say something ......and usually a look is enough to stop them in their tracks,but occasionally you get the Rambo types who think they,re something special until they see 3 or 4 big nasty looking fuckers ready to pounce at the first sign of trouble........it really does amaze me that in these days of obssessive anti racism anti this anti that.................that taking the piss out of those less fortunate than ourself is still so widely tolerated.

Know how you feel - the "stares" are the worst, biting your tongue and saying nothing can be one of the hardest things in the world to do sometimes, ive seen red quite a few times, and your right in saying a look can tell the arse holes exactly what you are about to do, if they dont stop staring.

And another thing is when as soon as people see the wheelchair they look away as quick as can be, as if to say im not looking or "not to make eye contact".. They wouldnt look away from a newborn in a pram like.

If people dont understand they should ask, it wouldnt offend anyone or make anyone feel awkward, i also think that parents should try and get their kids into some sort of socializing with people with learning difficulties - it means as when they are growing up and when they are in adulthood - they will have more knowledge of it and that people with disabilities are just the same as them. Because of my sisters disability i have been lucky in being around all different people in the day centers, people with downs syndrome, mental and physical disablity, and many more. My sisters condition is called - Angel-mans syndrome and she didnt get diagnosed until she was 3 year old, because no one had heard of it in them days ('s). And i know one thing for sure - i couldnt wish for a more loving, caring and fun BIG sister !! I wouldnt change her for the world, i love her just the way she is

This is a very delicate topic but people who are mentally fine but who are in wheelchairs i would have no problems with eye contact or anything like that. They are no different to you or i they just cant walk. Now someone who is disabled/ handicapped whatever the correct terminology is personally is a whole different ball game for me. I wouldn't want to stare so i would divert my eyes and if that makes me wrong then i'd have to apologise but i dont see how asking whats the problem is can be of any help either. I'd hate to ask what illness someone had and be told to "f**k off and mind my own business"....i'd be mortified!!

I think some people cant handle stuff like this and i am defo one of them.....my cousins daughter has Downs and although i very rarley see them as they stay in London and if we are at a family doo i always panic that i'm going to say or do the wrong thing. Yet in my family my Uncle works with handicapped people, teaching Music to them, Drumatik is the name of the organisation he is involved in. Also on that same side of the family is my Auntie who taught people sign language for deaf people, retired now....

[MoChara 1,632]

I have no idea about autism what it is or cures/treatment etc not because im ignorant just its not something ive ever been around......but ive known a young lad with downs syndrome for the last 8 or 9 years,met him through a charity i support......he loves his football and we often take him to different grounds he,s a lovely lad.....the times ive nearly got in scrapes over peoples attitudes to him.....sometimes ive clocked peoples faces ( especially groups of lads ) and seen them just getting ready to say something ......and usually a look is enough to stop them in their tracks,but occasionally you get the Rambo types who think they,re something special until they see 3 or 4 big nasty looking fuckers ready to pounce at the first sign of trouble........it really does amaze me that in these days of obssessive anti racism anti this anti that.................that taking the piss out of those less fortunate than ourself is still so widely tolerated.

Know how you feel - the "stares" are the worst, biting your tongue and saying nothing can be one of the hardest things in the world to do sometimes, ive seen red quite a few times, and your right in saying a look can tell the arse holes exactly what you are about to do, if they dont stop staring.

And another thing is when as soon as people see the wheelchair they look away as quick as can be, as if to say im not looking or "not to make eye contact".. They wouldnt look away from a newborn in a pram like.

If people dont understand they should ask, it wouldnt offend anyone or make anyone feel awkward, i also think that parents should try and get their kids into some sort of socializing with people with learning difficulties - it means as when they are growing up and when they are in adulthood - they will have more knowledge of it and that people with disabilities are just the same as them. Because of my sisters disability i have been lucky in being around all different people in the day centers, people with downs syndrome, mental and physical disablity, and many more. My sisters condition is called - Angel-mans syndrome and she didnt get diagnosed until she was 3 year old, because no one had heard of it in them days ('s). And i know one thing for sure - i couldnt wish for a more loving, caring and fun BIG sister !! I wouldnt change her for the world, i love her just the way she is

This is a very delicate topic but people who are mentally fine but who are in wheelchairs i would have no problems with eye contact or anything like that. They are no different to you or i they just cant walk. Now someone who is disabled/ handicapped whatever the correct terminology is personally is a whole different ball game for me. I wouldn't want to stare so i would divert my eyes and if that makes me wrong then i'd have to apologise but i dont see how asking whats the problem is can be of any help either. I'd hate to ask what illness someone had and be told to "f**k off and mind my own business"....i'd be mortified!!

I think some people cant handle stuff like this and i am defo one of them.....my cousins daughter has Downs and although i very rarley see them as they stay in London and if we are at a family doo i always panic that i'm going to say or do the wrong thing. Yet in my family my Uncle works with handicapped people, teaching Music to them, Drumatik is the name of the organisation he is involved in. Also on that same side of the family is my Auntie who taught people sign language for deaf people, retired now....

I do know what you mean Lab - i may have explained it wrong, it can be hard to try and explain. And by me saying to ask what the condition is, i mean if they "want" to know, is to ask. If me, you and my sis were in say a cafe and you were just making conversation and in your head wanted to know what was wrong with her, i would rather you ask than just wonder, i would have absolutely no problem whatsoever explaining her disability to you. But i do understand what you mean, its like being on the outside looking in at the situation, i would prob do the same.

[Ratreeper 441]

I have no idea about autism what it is or cures/treatment etc not because im ignorant just its not something ive ever been around......but ive known a young lad with downs syndrome for the last 8 or 9 years,met him through a charity i support......he loves his football and we often take him to different grounds he,s a lovely lad.....the times ive nearly got in scrapes over peoples attitudes to him.....sometimes ive clocked peoples faces ( especially groups of lads ) and seen them just getting ready to say something ......and usually a look is enough to stop them in their tracks,but occasionally you get the Rambo types who think they,re something special until they see 3 or 4 big nasty looking fuckers ready to pounce at the first sign of trouble........it really does amaze me that in these days of obssessive anti racism anti this anti that.................that taking the piss out of those less fortunate than ourself is still so widely tolerated.

Know how you feel - the "stares" are the worst, biting your tongue and saying nothing can be one of the hardest things in the world to do sometimes, ive seen red quite a few times, and your right in saying a look can tell the arse holes exactly what you are about to do, if they dont stop staring.

And another thing is when as soon as people see the wheelchair they look away as quick as can be, as if to say im not looking or "not to make eye contact".. They wouldnt look away from a newborn in a pram like.

If people dont understand they should ask, it wouldnt offend anyone or make anyone feel awkward, i also think that parents should try and get their kids into some sort of socializing with people with learning difficulties - it means as when they are growing up and when they are in adulthood - they will have more knowledge of it and that people with disabilities are just the same as them. Because of my sisters disability i have been lucky in being around all different people in the day centers, people with downs syndrome, mental and physical disablity, and many more. My sisters condition is called - Angel-mans syndrome and she didnt get diagnosed until she was 3 year old, because no one had heard of it in them days ('s). And i know one thing for sure - i couldnt wish for a more loving, caring and fun BIG sister !! I wouldnt change her for the world, i love her just the way she is

This is a very delicate topic but people who are mentally fine but who are in wheelchairs i would have no problems with eye contact or anything like that. They are no different to you or i they just cant walk. Now someone who is disabled/ handicapped whatever the correct terminology is personally is a whole different ball game for me. I wouldn't want to stare so i would divert my eyes and if that makes me wrong then i'd have to apologise but i dont see how asking whats the problem is can be of any help either. I'd hate to ask what illness someone had and be told to "f**k off and mind my own business"....i'd be mortified!!

I think some people cant handle stuff like this and i am defo one of them.....my cousins daughter has Downs and although i very rarley see them as they stay in London and if we are at a family doo i always panic that i'm going to say or do the wrong thing. Yet in my family my Uncle works with handicapped people, teaching Music to them, Drumatik is the name of the organisation he is involved in. Also on that same side of the family is my Auntie who taught people sign language for deaf people, retired now....

 

I know what you mean about not wanting to stare, but if anything I am on the other end of the spectrum. I just see diabled people as the same as anyone else and don't treat them different one way or another. Maybe I am wrong but I cringe when I see people offering to help diasbled people with things they know they can manage on their own, I know they are trying to be helpful but firstly it probably hurts their pride a bit and secondly it draws attention to them when I assume they just want to get on with it without the fuss. But this goes both ways, I wouldn't let a person in a wheelchair cut into a queue like they always seem to because they aren't special or different. But I wouldn't feel weird asking about their illness either if the situation arose, nor about having a joke about it like you would with any able-bodied person.

My mate is slightly autistic and he tends to start rambling about stuff and just doesn't click on when others lose interest. This could be awkward and annoying and I might not want to be mates with him, but I just say 'stop rambling on you spaz' and all is well again

[Lab 10,979]

I have no idea about autism what it is or cures/treatment etc not because im ignorant just its not something ive ever been around......but ive known a young lad with downs syndrome for the last 8 or 9 years,met him through a charity i support......he loves his football and we often take him to different grounds he,s a lovely lad.....the times ive nearly got in scrapes over peoples attitudes to him.....sometimes ive clocked peoples faces ( especially groups of lads ) and seen them just getting ready to say something ......and usually a look is enough to stop them in their tracks,but occasionally you get the Rambo types who think they,re something special until they see 3 or 4 big nasty looking fuckers ready to pounce at the first sign of trouble........it really does amaze me that in these days of obssessive anti racism anti this anti that.................that taking the piss out of those less fortunate than ourself is still so widely tolerated.

Know how you feel - the "stares" are the worst, biting your tongue and saying nothing can be one of the hardest things in the world to do sometimes, ive seen red quite a few times, and your right in saying a look can tell the arse holes exactly what you are about to do, if they dont stop staring.

And another thing is when as soon as people see the wheelchair they look away as quick as can be, as if to say im not looking or "not to make eye contact".. They wouldnt look away from a newborn in a pram like.

If people dont understand they should ask, it wouldnt offend anyone or make anyone feel awkward, i also think that parents should try and get their kids into some sort of socializing with people with learning difficulties - it means as when they are growing up and when they are in adulthood - they will have more knowledge of it and that people with disabilities are just the same as them. Because of my sisters disability i have been lucky in being around all different people in the day centers, people with downs syndrome, mental and physical disablity, and many more. My sisters condition is called - Angel-mans syndrome and she didnt get diagnosed until she was 3 year old, because no one had heard of it in them days ('s). And i know one thing for sure - i couldnt wish for a more loving, caring and fun BIG sister !! I wouldnt change her for the world, i love her just the way she is

This is a very delicate topic but people who are mentally fine but who are in wheelchairs i would have no problems with eye contact or anything like that. They are no different to you or i they just cant walk. Now someone who is disabled/ handicapped whatever the correct terminology is personally is a whole different ball game for me. I wouldn't want to stare so i would divert my eyes and if that makes me wrong then i'd have to apologise but i dont see how asking whats the problem is can be of any help either. I'd hate to ask what illness someone had and be told to "f**k off and mind my own business"....i'd be mortified!!

I think some people cant handle stuff like this and i am defo one of them.....my cousins daughter has Downs and although i very rarley see them as they stay in London and if we are at a family doo i always panic that i'm going to say or do the wrong thing. Yet in my family my Uncle works with handicapped people, teaching Music to them, Drumatik is the name of the organisation he is involved in. Also on that same side of the family is my Auntie who taught people sign language for deaf people, retired now....

I do know what you mean Lab - i may have explained it wrong, it can be hard to try and explain. And by me saying to ask what the condition is, i mean if they "want" to know, is to ask. If me, you and my sis were in say a cafe and you were just making conversation and in your head wanted to know what was wrong with her, i would rather you ask than just wonder, i would have absolutely no problem whatsoever explaining her disability to you. But i do understand what you mean, its like being on the outside looking in at the situation, i would prob do the same.

I remember watching a doc' years ago about this guy in a wheelchair and he was very independant. He never wanted anyone to help him and if they did, lets say for instance opened a door for him, he would make them shut it and tell them off.... I'm sorry but i'd give him both barrels wheelchair or not. Now i think thats where alot of my insecurities towards handicapped/ disabled people are. You just dont know what to do for the best so i would choose to divert my gaze. Problem being there is like you say you might find that rude..... Still lost what to do for the best....

[MoChara 1,632]

I have no idea about autism what it is or cures/treatment etc not because im ignorant just its not something ive ever been around......but ive known a young lad with downs syndrome for the last 8 or 9 years,met him through a charity i support......he loves his football and we often take him to different grounds he,s a lovely lad.....the times ive nearly got in scrapes over peoples attitudes to him.....sometimes ive clocked peoples faces ( especially groups of lads ) and seen them just getting ready to say something ......and usually a look is enough to stop them in their tracks,but occasionally you get the Rambo types who think they,re something special until they see 3 or 4 big nasty looking fuckers ready to pounce at the first sign of trouble........it really does amaze me that in these days of obssessive anti racism anti this anti that.................that taking the piss out of those less fortunate than ourself is still so widely tolerated.

Know how you feel - the "stares" are the worst, biting your tongue and saying nothing can be one of the hardest things in the world to do sometimes, ive seen red quite a few times, and your right in saying a look can tell the arse holes exactly what you are about to do, if they dont stop staring.

And another thing is when as soon as people see the wheelchair they look away as quick as can be, as if to say im not looking or "not to make eye contact".. They wouldnt look away from a newborn in a pram like.

If people dont understand they should ask, it wouldnt offend anyone or make anyone feel awkward, i also think that parents should try and get their kids into some sort of socializing with people with learning difficulties - it means as when they are growing up and when they are in adulthood - they will have more knowledge of it and that people with disabilities are just the same as them. Because of my sisters disability i have been lucky in being around all different people in the day centers, people with downs syndrome, mental and physical disablity, and many more. My sisters condition is called - Angel-mans syndrome and she didnt get diagnosed until she was 3 year old, because no one had heard of it in them days ('s). And i know one thing for sure - i couldnt wish for a more loving, caring and fun BIG sister !! I wouldnt change her for the world, i love her just the way she is

This is a very delicate topic but people who are mentally fine but who are in wheelchairs i would have no problems with eye contact or anything like that. They are no different to you or i they just cant walk. Now someone who is disabled/ handicapped whatever the correct terminology is personally is a whole different ball game for me. I wouldn't want to stare so i would divert my eyes and if that makes me wrong then i'd have to apologise but i dont see how asking whats the problem is can be of any help either. I'd hate to ask what illness someone had and be told to "f**k off and mind my own business"....i'd be mortified!!

I think some people cant handle stuff like this and i am defo one of them.....my cousins daughter has Downs and although i very rarley see them as they stay in London and if we are at a family doo i always panic that i'm going to say or do the wrong thing. Yet in my family my Uncle works with handicapped people, teaching Music to them, Drumatik is the name of the organisation he is involved in. Also on that same side of the family is my Auntie who taught people sign language for deaf people, retired now....

I do know what you mean Lab - i may have explained it wrong, it can be hard to try and explain. And by me saying to ask what the condition is, i mean if they "want" to know, is to ask. If me, you and my sis were in say a cafe and you were just making conversation and in your head wanted to know what was wrong with her, i would rather you ask than just wonder, i would have absolutely no problem whatsoever explaining her disability to you. But i do understand what you mean, its like being on the outside looking in at the situation, i would prob do the same.

I remember watching a doc' years ago about this guy in a wheelchair and he was very independant. He never wanted anyone to help him and if they did, lets say for instance opened a door for him, he would make them shut it and tell them off.... I'm sorry but i'd give him both barrels wheelchair or not. Now i think thats where alot of my insecurities towards handicapped/ disabled people are. You just dont know what to do for the best so i would choose to divert my gaze. Problem being there is like you say you might find that rude..... Still lost what to do for the best....

Its not people who "divert" there gaze that get me - its like where they break their neck to look away if you know what i mean. But like i said its hard to explain sometimes.

[whippet 99 2,613]

what ever situation people are in , you must keep going on living life , there will be low times and there will be high times................dont ever give up because thats the easy way out........

until it happens to you we all take for granted what we got.............and when a member of your family turns ill , no matter what illness it is , you start to appreciate the small things in life........ at first you think why us , what have we done to deserve this ...........then after time you learn to live with it and to deal with it.............

you learn its part of life and life goes on for the sake of our children.........................

i sincerely wish everybody who have family problems all the best for the future because when your on your knees thinking surely it cant get any worst ..............it sometimes does, you must keep strong and be generous and any one with a heart will get through it ...............for sure.........

the trouble is on the internet that people only take you for what they read , without even knowing the real you......atb wayne

[ferret features 289]

I have no idea about autism what it is or cures/treatment etc not because im ignorant just its not something ive ever been around......but ive known a young lad with downs syndrome for the last 8 or 9 years,met him through a charity i support......he loves his football and we often take him to different grounds he,s a lovely lad.....the times ive nearly got in scrapes over peoples attitudes to him.....sometimes ive clocked peoples faces ( especially groups of lads ) and seen them just getting ready to say something ......and usually a look is enough to stop them in their tracks,but occasionally you get the Rambo types who think they,re something special until they see 3 or 4 big nasty looking fuckers ready to pounce at the first sign of trouble........it really does amaze me that in these days of obssessive anti racism anti this anti that.................that taking the piss out of those less fortunate than ourself is still so widely tolerated.

Know how you feel - the "stares" are the worst, biting your tongue and saying nothing can be one of the hardest things in the world to do sometimes, ive seen red quite a few times, and your right in saying a look can tell the arse holes exactly what you are about to do, if they dont stop staring.

And another thing is when as soon as people see the wheelchair they look away as quick as can be, as if to say im not looking or "not to make eye contact".. They wouldnt look away from a newborn in a pram like.

If people dont understand they should ask, it wouldnt offend anyone or make anyone feel awkward, i also think that parents should try and get their kids into some sort of socializing with people with learning difficulties - it means as when they are growing up and when they are in adulthood - they will have more knowledge of it and that people with disabilities are just the same as them. Because of my sisters disability i have been lucky in being around all different people in the day centers, people with downs syndrome, mental and physical disablity, and many more. My sisters condition is called - Angel-mans syndrome and she didnt get diagnosed until she was 3 year old, because no one had heard of it in them days ('s). And i know one thing for sure - i couldnt wish for a more loving, caring and fun BIG sister !! I wouldnt change her for the world, i love her just the way she is

This is a very delicate topic but people who are mentally fine but who are in wheelchairs i would have no problems with eye contact or anything like that. They are no different to you or i they just cant walk. Now someone who is disabled/ handicapped whatever the correct terminology is personally is a whole different ball game for me. I wouldn't want to stare so i would divert my eyes and if that makes me wrong then i'd have to apologise but i dont see how asking whats the problem is can be of any help either. I'd hate to ask what illness someone had and be told to "f**k off and mind my own business"....i'd be mortified!!

I think some people cant handle stuff like this and i am defo one of them.....my cousins daughter has Downs and although i very rarley see them as they stay in London and if we are at a family doo i always panic that i'm going to say or do the wrong thing. Yet in my family my Uncle works with handicapped people, teaching Music to them, Drumatik is the name of the organisation he is involved in. Also on that same side of the family is my Auntie who taught people sign language for deaf people, retired now....

I do know what you mean Lab - i may have explained it wrong, it can be hard to try and explain. And by me saying to ask what the condition is, i mean if they "want" to know, is to ask. If me, you and my sis were in say a cafe and you were just making conversation and in your head wanted to know what was wrong with her, i would rather you ask than just wonder, i would have absolutely no problem whatsoever explaining her disability to you. But i do understand what you mean, its like being on the outside looking in at the situation, i would prob do the same.

I remember watching a doc' years ago about this guy in a wheelchair and he was very independant. He never wanted anyone to help him and if they did, lets say for instance opened a door for him, he would make them shut it and tell them off.... I'm sorry but i'd give him both barrels wheelchair or not. Now i think thats where alot of my insecurities towards handicapped/ disabled people are. You just dont know what to do for the best so i would choose to divert my gaze. Problem being there is like you say you might find that rude..... Still lost what to do for the best....

Your right mate sometime its better to walk away .i of them downs knocked a full table of drink round us in our local 1 day he was performing badly since he arrived.the ma n da just scrudded their shoulders .when i asked the da if he was gonna decorate the table he started giving cheek we just let it go .but if somebody like that is taking liberties what are you supposed to do.