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'mickmck' timestamp='1341426765' post='2699372']

cookiemonsterandmerlin' timestamp='1341424777' post='2699298']

What you got to realize is most men are crap at sex they talk about all the time but when it comes down to pleasing a woman they are piss poor.

So women dream of great sex with amazing men who smell nice ,not camo cladded with rabbit gut smelling fingers :laugh:

 

So they buying 50 shades of grey because you crap in bed they why my missus hasnt :tongue2:

 

ATB Cookie

]ha !! listen to mr lover lover :laugh: :laugh:

 

No she bought a pile of battery's for some reason :whistling::laugh: :laugh:

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Im gettin my Mrs that book for Xmas ................... NEXT WEEK

im defo not geting it for my one,the thoughts of her pawing and groping me...........................good god nooooo

I bet she's got it on that Kindle you don't know how to use!!!

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'smithie' timestamp='1341427553' post='2699390']

im happy to be crap in bed as long as i climb of happy. she can finish her sen off while i sleep

 

 

Aye theres nae prizes for coming in second :whistling::laugh: :laugh:

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Guest cookiemonsterandmerlin

finished the first book in a couple of days :icon_redface: :icon_redface: :icon_redface: waiting on the postie delivering the next 2 wish he would hurry the fk up

 

Waiting for postie are you :icon_eek: heard he likes posting letter in your slot :yes:

 

Cookie

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heres a good one

 

‎50 Shades Of Newcastle

 

I knew as soon as I walked through the door from dropping the bairn off at school that I was ganna get some.

 

I peeped through the fist hole in the living room door and saw the half a roly burning away in the ashtray perched on the arm of me new Brighthouse corner settee. The telly was turned reet doon, ah cudn't even hear what Lorraine was sayin aboot the new fashions for

the summer or nowt. Then a saw him, and me heart skipped skipped a beat (just like that Ollie Murs). He'd obviously had a crisis loan and been doon the metty coz he was wearing a fresh new trackie bottoms and brand new pair of flossies, his rippling white chest peeped out from behind the zip of his supadry coat, that was sexily only zipped halfway up, just enough to cover the tack burns but give me a cheeky glimpse of what was to come.

 

He pulled me towards him and whispered "Y'all reet pet" before planting the lips on me, I trembled under the aroma of Golden Virginia and stale Stella. He took me there and then, right on the Argos rug whilst our staffy Tyson looked on.

 

He left without a word, but he would return soon, with tales of a fight in the Jobcentre queue and his joy at finding a pound coin on the floor of the 54. I tried to settle myself with a tab and a can but all the while that one question burned in my heart........

 

Will he remember my pasty from Greggs??

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What you got to realize is most men are crap at sex they talk about all the time but when it comes down to pleasing a woman they are piss poor.

So women dream of great sex with amazing men who smell nice ,not camo cladded with rabbit gut smelling fingers :laugh:

 

So they buying 50 shades of grey because you crap in bed they why my missus hasnt :tongue2:

 

ATB Cookie

 

So to not only do you see yourself as more hardcore than most when it comes to hunting, you also see yourself as a cut above between the sheets! :laugh: A right old mixture of Don Juan, Cassinova, Davy Crockett & D.B Plumber! :tongue2:

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Guest cookiemonsterandmerlin

What you got to realize is most men are crap at sex they talk about all the time but when it comes down to pleasing a woman they are piss poor.

So women dream of great sex with amazing men who smell nice ,not camo cladded with rabbit gut smelling fingers :laugh:

 

So they buying 50 shades of grey because you crap in bed they why my missus hasnt :tongue2:

 

ATB Cookie

 

So to not only do you see yourself as more hardcore than most when it comes to hunting, you also see yourself as a cut above between the sheets! :laugh: A right old mixture of Don Juan, Cassinova, Davy Crockett & D.B Plumber! :tongue2:

What you got to realize is most men are crap at sex they talk about all the time but when it comes down to pleasing a woman they are piss poor.

So women dream of great sex with amazing men who smell nice ,not camo cladded with rabbit gut smelling fingers :laugh:

 

So they buying 50 shades of grey because you crap in bed they why my missus hasnt :tongue2:

 

ATB Cookie

 

So to not only do you see yourself as more hardcore than most when it comes to hunting, you also see yourself as a cut above between the sheets! :laugh: A right old mixture of Don Juan, Cassinova, Davy Crockett & D.B Plumber! :tongue2:

 

You forgot WHIN :laugh::tongue2:

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What you got to realize is most men are crap at sex they talk about all the time but when it comes down to pleasing a woman they are piss poor.

So women dream of great sex with amazing men who smell nice ,not camo cladded with rabbit gut smelling fingers :laugh:

 

So they buying 50 shades of grey because you crap in bed they why my missus hasnt :tongue2:

 

ATB Cookie

 

So to not only do you see yourself as more hardcore than most when it comes to hunting, you also see yourself as a cut above between the sheets! :laugh: A right old mixture of Don Juan, Cassinova, Davy Crockett & D.B Plumber! :tongue2:

What you got to realize is most men are crap at sex they talk about all the time but when it comes down to pleasing a woman they are piss poor.

So women dream of great sex with amazing men who smell nice ,not camo cladded with rabbit gut smelling fingers :laugh:

 

So they buying 50 shades of grey because you crap in bed they why my missus hasnt :tongue2:

 

ATB Cookie

 

So to not only do you see yourself as more hardcore than most when it comes to hunting, you also see yourself as a cut above between the sheets! :laugh: A right old mixture of Don Juan, Cassinova, Davy Crockett & D.B Plumber! :tongue2:

 

You forgot WHIN :laugh::tongue2:

:laugh: Malt and Cookie
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