mole catcher 1 Posted May 23, 2007 Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 There i was sitting in a hide at 4.30ish this morning waiting or the sun to rise on yet another strange but interesting job. The removal of noisey ferrels and doves from a customers garden being the order of the day. Alls gone well and said birds are removed with no fuss at all leaving me at one with the world. On the way to my next customer i thought i would be smart and kill to birds with one stone (no pun intended) and call in to look at an on going rabbit job. Get to said address and duely greeted by an unknow woman. ''hello says'' I '' is Mr smith at home?"" " no hes not" replies woman "" mrs smith?"" " no, her niether" All of a sudden the front door slams shut leaving myself and this unknown woman on the door step. Yes you guessed it the door locks itself and she hasnt any keys. So, being the galent gent i am i climb over the rear wall to check the rear doors, all locked, "" BUGGER " says I explaining the situation to the lady she says cheerfully "" Mrs smiths sister has a spare set she lives in the next village" thinking this ladys the house cleaner i say '" ok, jump in, i will give you a lift and fetch them" puts me a little behind but what the heck. on the drive to mrs smiths sisters i try and get a chat going as the dead birds in the back of the van are now getting a little on the high side smell wise with the heat. Any way we get to the next village and i ask the lady whats mrs smiths sisters address "" i dont know" she replys followed by "" didnt know mrs smith had a sister"" "but you told me she has and you knew where she lives and there was a spare set of keys there" ''Did I ?, never knew she had a sister" Its at this point my day turned a little sureal, there i was sitting in a village i dont know with an old lady i know even less about , looking for a mrs smiths sister who doesnt even exisist as far as i know. It was about now i started to realise my problem. The lady sitting in my car is my customers senile sister in law ive heared him mention so i again look through my list of contact numbers but only have his home number so back i drive again to the house to re-think my plan. on the way she asks " dont get me home late will you as im off to the chelsea flower festival this afternoon, are you coming?" i was contemlpating driving to a quiet woodland i know on the way, knocking the old girl over the head with the ferreting spade, few mins digging, bobs your uncle, problem solved :whistle: I have a further customer in the same village as Mr smith so i ask her " do you know mr jones who has a little dog that mr& mrs smith go for walks with?'' please say yes "" dont think so" shit! plane B it is then. Get her back home and who should be there? Mrs smith After a bit of explain on both mine and mrs smiths part alls sorted out and dandy. only wasted about 1.1/2 hours on a goose chase. Get this, as she got out the car she turns to mrs smith "" ive had a lovely drive in the countryside with this nice young man, been lovely it has"" she leans over grabs my face and gives me a bigg sloppy kiss on the check as she says good bye and wanders off in doors :kiss: its only at this point i notice shes only wearing one of those old fashioned dressing gowns with her slippers on the wronge feet WHAT A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PESTER Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hob&Jill 258 Posted May 23, 2007 Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 Sounds interesting :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Lurcherbitch Posted May 23, 2007 Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 f**k!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! belly laughing Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Yokel Matt 918 Posted May 23, 2007 Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 Lucky she wasn't feeling randy hey Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mole catcher 1 Posted May 23, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 Lucky she wasn't feeling randy hey feck off you sick man Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MOLLY Posted May 23, 2007 Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 Lmfao...brilliant MOLL. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tikka T3 0 Posted May 23, 2007 Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 I MUST ADD THAT I WAS WONDERING WHAT YOU GOT UP TO FOR A HOUR AND A HALF GOOD JOB THE PEOPLE ON THIS FORUM ARE UNDERSTANDING BY THE WAY [bANNED TEXT] DID YOU GET UP TOO ? YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED TAKING ADVANTAGE OF AN OLD LADY, YOUR LUCKY THE OLD BILL DIDNT STOP YOU . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gibby 0 Posted May 23, 2007 Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 Hehe thats a great story! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferreterno1 0 Posted May 23, 2007 Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 thats better than sitting in class at college all morning Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted May 23, 2007 Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 F*cking Brilliant! Wouldn't that make a great comic strip too? The moment when ye considering the spade would be truly classic! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mole catcher 1 Posted May 23, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 thought you would find it funny nearly as funny as my night longnetting scare 2yrs ago but that as they say is another story Quote Link to post Share on other sites
elma-fudd 0 Posted May 23, 2007 Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 funny as fook Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mole trapper 1,693 Posted May 23, 2007 Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 Whats the going rate for old dear problems in your neck of the woods, just wondering if i am missing out on a lucrative slice of the market. :whistle: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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