Guest bob Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 "I'm too drunk to drive to work." "I accidentally flushed my keys down the toilet." "I had to help deliver a baby on my way to work." (Employee was not in the medical profession.) "I accidentally drove through the automatic garage door before it opened." "My boyfriend's snake escaped from its cage and I'm afraid to leave the bedroom until he gets home." "I'm too fat to get into my work outfit." "God didn't wake me." (Employee didn't believe in alarm clocks and thought a higher power would wake her when she was ready.) "I cut my fingernails too short, they're bleeding and I have to go to the doctor." "The ghosts in my house kept me up all night." "I forgot I was getting married today." "My cow bit me." "My son accidentally fell asleep next to wet cement in our garden. His foot fell in and we can't get it out." "I was walking down the street watching road works being done, fell in the hole and hurt myself." "I was walking my dog and slipped on a toad in my driveway and hurt my back." "My house lock jammed, and I'm locked in." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Lurcherbitch Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 my cow bit me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wilky 0 Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 (edited) A lad at work once used this one :- "Sorry I'm late, my car wouldn't start" Gaffer "Why" "Couldn't reach the ignition from my fartsack" Gaffer "Get your f*****g coat and have the rest of the day off you lazy twat, and no you won't get paid" Edited May 20, 2007 by Wilky Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Lurcherbitch Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 f*****g brilliant "My son accidentally fell asleep next to wet cement in our garden. His foot fell in and we can't get it out." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted May 21, 2007 Report Share Posted May 21, 2007 I just noticed the last one'' i locked myself in well i did lock myself in the house yrs ago & couldnt find my house keys I had to ring my mom and ask her to come and unlock the porch door Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ossie 11 Posted May 21, 2007 Report Share Posted May 21, 2007 i locked myself in once - the catch on the front door jammed.. i had to climb out of the window Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cupid Stunt 18 Posted May 21, 2007 Report Share Posted May 21, 2007 Its easier to just visit the local Witch Doctor Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Lurcherbitch Posted May 21, 2007 Report Share Posted May 21, 2007 Its easier to just visit the local Witch Doctor f**k Two of my mates and my son have just bellied over Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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