Jump to content

Recommended Posts

NEVER say its yourself that's sick if you've kids. just use them as an excuse. That way it's dependency leave and u can't get disciplinary over your family commitments. I've used everything from the child's having bother at school and it needs sorted asap to the childminders let me down and I'll have to stay off to take care of the kids. Havnt had a warning yet

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

A lad from my work phoned in and said he had a c**t, the boss was like "a c**t?" to which he replied "aye I'm taking the box out of a motor and it's a c**t!" the boss was speechless! :laugh:

For a minute there i thought you were going to say you phoned in once to say you were trapped inside your jersey and couldn't get it off.................... :angel:

 

I heard you phoned in and said "I'll no be in the day I'm sick" and your boss asked just how sick you were? To which you replied "well I'm baw deep in ma sister!!" :whistling::laugh:

Veedublee........."Sorry Boss i wont be in today i was in a fight at the weekend and got a bit of a kicking"

Boss........."Thats terrible Lee.......how many off them were there?

Veedublee......."Two"

Boss........"Did they have anything with them?"

Veedublee....."Yes......a wheelchair and a pair of crutches!!"......... :laugh:

 

There was 3 of them ACTUALLY! :laugh:

Link to post
Share on other sites

before the days of mobile phones -- i went to the coast with the mrs and fancied an extra night i phoned from the b n b to say my car would`nt start -- when i got back i got called into the office they`d sent a van to pick me up -- quick thinking i said i know i got my car goin and it had stopped on the way in and i saw the van go past me .. on the same firm --- a mate had a ford escort car it was due in for an mot it had a couple of dodgey tyres at the time he was using the works escort van so after work friday we jacked it up put the tyres on his car put the van on blocks idea being to swop the tyres back once he`d done his mot he got a knock on his door half 7 sat morning they`d come from work to pick the van up for another job ...needless to say neither of us lasted long .. on another firm we had a year on permanant nights working 70 mile away the 4 of us took it in turns to have a week off every 4th week worked for about a year untill one of the lads fell out with the forman over bonus and jacked then grassed us all up -- we half covered our arses but they never really trusted us after that ..

Edited by the_stig
Link to post
Share on other sites

before the days of mobile phones -- i went to the coast with the mrs and fancied an extra night i phoned from the b n b to say my car would`nt start -- when i got back i got called into the office they`d sent a van to pick me up -- quick thinking i said i know i got my car goin and it had stopped on the way in and i saw the van go past me .. on the same firm --- a mate had a ford escort car it was due in for an mot it had a couple of dodgey tyres at the time he was using the works escort van so after work friday we jacked it up put the tyres on his car put the van on blocks idea being to swop the tyres back once he`d done his mot he got a knock on his door half 7 sat morning they`d come from work to pick the van up for another job ...needless to say neither of us lasted long .. on another firm we had a year on permanant nights working 70 mile away the 4 of us took it in turns to have a week off every 4th week worked for about a year untill one of the lads fell out with the forman over bonus and jacked then grassed us all up -- we half covered our arses but they never really trusted us after that ..

here is an excuse.. the_stig posted a long one.. and i got lazy...
Link to post
Share on other sites

before the days of mobile phones -- i went to the coast with the mrs and fancied an extra night i phoned from the b n b to say my car would`nt start -- when i got back i got called into the office they`d sent a van to pick me up -- quick thinking i said i know i got my car goin and it had stopped on the way in and i saw the van go past me .. on the same firm --- a mate had a ford escort car it was due in for an mot it had a couple of dodgey tyres at the time he was using the works escort van so after work friday we jacked it up put the tyres on his car put the van on blocks idea being to swop the tyres back once he`d done his mot he got a knock on his door half 7 sat morning they`d come from work to pick the van up for another job ...needless to say neither of us lasted long .. on another firm we had a year on permanant nights working 70 mile away the 4 of us took it in turns to have a week off every 4th week worked for about a year untill one of the lads fell out with the forman over bonus and jacked then grassed us all up -- we half covered our arses but they never really trusted us after that ..

here is an excuse.. the_stig posted a long one.. and i got lazy...

:icon_eek: such is life ...
Link to post
Share on other sites

Tbh all you need to say is it's personal Abd they can't ask you anymore.

I've tried that one with the boss it works for a while but if you work anywhere with a HR department if your due a warning for time keeping HR don't except the Personnall excuse they want to know exactly why.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Tbh all you need to say is it's personal Abd they can't ask you anymore.

I've tried that one with the boss it works for a while but if you work anywhere with a HR department if your due a warning for time keeping HR don't except the Personnall excuse they want to know exactly why.

 

Telling them you've contracted genital warts from a Thai ladyboy and have an appointment at the GUM clinic usually keeps them quiet :thumbs::laugh:

Link to post
Share on other sites

i hope you think off the poor c**t who has to do twice as much work as your lying in bed cause you were to lazy to get out :censored: :censored:

Keeps another man in a job, who stepped on your sandals

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...