nod 285 Posted March 8, 2012 Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Two Irish builders (Patrick and Seamus) are seated either side of a Table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits On a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit Pat: - I reckon he's an accountant. Seamus: - No way - he's a stockbroker. Pat: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here! The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer Gets the better of Pat and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him. Pat: - 'Scuse me.... No offence meant, but me and me mate were Wondering what you do for a living? Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession Pat: - Oh? What's that then? Suit: - I'll try to explain by example ..... Do you have a goldfish at home? Pat: - Er ... Mmm ........ Well yeah, I do as it happens! Suit: - Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a Pond. Which is it? Pat: - It's in a pond! Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then? Pat: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden. Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that, in this town, if you Have a large garden then you have a large house? Pat: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ......... Built it myself! Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it's logical To assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are Quite probably married? And with a family? Pat: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children. Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active With your wife on a regular basis? Pat: - Yep! Five times a week! Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you don't masturbate very often? Pat: - Do what? Not me, mate! Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work! Pat: - How's that then? Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you About your sex life! Pat: - I see! That's pretty impressive.. Thanks mate! Both leave the toilet and Pat returns to his mate. Seamus: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does? Pat: - Yep! He's a logical scientist! Seamus: - What's that then? Pat: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish? Seamus: - Nope Pat: - Well then, you're a wanker 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jetro 5,349 Posted March 8, 2012 Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest thebigdog Posted March 8, 2012 Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Duncan 802 Posted March 8, 2012 Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Loved it! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LolaPat 49 Posted March 8, 2012 Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Lmfao! :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rob190364 2,593 Posted March 8, 2012 Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 best joke i've seen on here..class! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sorley Boys clan Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,452 Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
matthews 88 77 Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 made me laugh tat one Quote Link to post Share on other sites
steve123 29 Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 laughed out loud Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 FPMSL............... :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
trooperman 73 Posted March 10, 2012 Report Share Posted March 10, 2012 woman goes into a shop and asks for a sheeps head,,,,,we dont have any sheeps heads says the shop keeper,,,,well you have 1 in the window the woman say's,,,,,the shop keeper say's the only thing in the window is a mirror. paddy goes into a shop and asks for a wasp,,,the shop keeper says we dont sell wasp's,,,,paddy say's well theres 1 in your window. paddy and mick are talking,,,paddy says to mick im going to sell my car its got 100.000 miles on the clock,,,,mick says to paddy wind the clock back before you sell itthats a good idea mick,,,,,week later mick says to paddy thought you were selling the car,,,,paddy says are stupid its only got 10,000 miles on the clock paul Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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