Wxm 1,638 Posted December 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 It's a mind blowing situation when all you are trying to do is raise your kids well and do the best by them and the court gives access to someone who will hurt them - physically or otherwise. I lost so much sleep over it all, I was stressed to the max. Even sitting in the same room with him made me feel like I was going to vomit. Whilst we were sitting in court the clerk actually said to me 'a bad father is better than no father'. Seriously. That says it all really. WTF ?? how can they say that?? i grew up with just my mum and 3 other children and ok she had her b/fs / partners (only 2 thou) most of the time it was only me my mum and kids and i dont think it matters if you / their real dad are ever on the seen Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 27,159 Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 I feel sory for people in this type of situation, I truly do, I had a different type of upbringing and saw a lot as a kid that my kids will never see, they are protected as the most important thing in my life, I would question though how you could let a kid stay for a week with someone who you think had harmed them, you say your partner got worried by wednesday. I truly hope that this scumbag gets what's coming...... you should make sure that happens....... and I hope that you and your missus protect your kids as best as you can. ATB Kev Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurchergrrl 1,441 Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 Wxm, she said that to me with a totally straight face. My solicitor put her hand on my arm to keep me from kicking off ... but I did let go of an epic tirade about my feelings on what she'd said. And when I was done she shrugged and said it to me again, made a note and granted access. That's courts for you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 Scot, I did move heaven and earth. I had police reports, photos of my injuries on various occasions.... Proof that he'd had no input or contact and had never been a father to them. But like I said, they believe a bad father is better than no father so none of that mattered. He wanted access, they gave it to him. So what's best? Even if I'd tried to leave the country, they'd have found me. Then I'd be in jail. And what good would I have been to my kids then? It's the worst possible situation to be in. then i trully feel sorry for the position you are in.really do,must be totally frustrating.think if i was in your position id be slipping someone a few quid to stab him,see how much he likes it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
trooperman 73 Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 not having ever been in the situation you are in i dont realy no what to say to you, i dont understand how any one can hit a child let alone stab them with some thing. social services have their hands tied mainly because of the balls ups they have made in the past[marieta higgs] but i am sure the police should be able to do some thing about it after all it is actual bodily harm and they will and do act on that, they have even changed the law regarding domestic violence. beating the crap out of him may well make you feel better but in the long run it could do more harm than good, maybe you need to take him / her to one side tell them you wont put up with the behaviour if it carries on you will go to the local papers, you know they all love a good story. paul Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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