GrCh 856 Posted December 8, 2011 Report Share Posted December 8, 2011 Ive just been put on the naughty list! Or, the Sex Offenders Register, as the judge called it SUSAN: "Dad can I borrow the car?" DAD: "Only if you suck my cock, Susan. You know the rules..." Susan sighs and drops to her knees. Dad whips his unit out and she plants her lips around it. Instantly she recoils in disgust. SUSAN: "Eurrghh! It tastes like shit!" DAD: " Yeah, your brother wanted to borrow twenty quid..." 6 polish men were arrested last night for beating the shit out of a group of pakis, Proof again, they come over hear and take all the f*****g best jobs........... The definition of a dilemma. The house keeps getting burgled. My daughter just told me she's a lesbian. I only have one hidden camera. Christmas time. Valium and wine. Children indulging in serious crime. With dad on the weed and mum high on crack. Christmas is magic when your family is black! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
boyo 1,398 Posted December 8, 2011 Report Share Posted December 8, 2011 paddy says to mick christmas is on a friday this year ,mick says i hope it aint on the thirteenth . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flinn 47 Posted December 8, 2011 Report Share Posted December 8, 2011 Ireland's worst air disaster struck today when a two seater plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish rescue workers have so far recovered 826 bodies. The digging continues! Paddy was shagging a pair of twins, John asks Paddy how do you tell them apart? Paddy replied, "easy... Shirley's got blonde hair and Derek's got a cock!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
breeze 1,277 Posted December 8, 2011 Report Share Posted December 8, 2011 Mate used to work on the Dodgems, then out of the blue he got the sack He's doing them for Funfair Dismissal Quote Link to post Share on other sites
patterdale666 1,620 Posted December 8, 2011 Report Share Posted December 8, 2011 Man goes into Welfare office with his dog and asks for his dog to be signed on the dole, Clerk asks, Are You Serious? What makes you think your dog can be signed on? Man replies, Well He's Black, He's Lazy, He doesn't know who his Father is and He doesn't speak English. What more do you f**king want??? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
barry123 112 Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 man phones the police, "whats your emergency ?" they ask . "two girls are fighting over me "he says , ok says cop, bit of a pause "and whats your problem ?" THE FAT ONES WINNING "replies the man :D Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Milwr Jr. 99 Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 6 polish men were arrested last night for beating the shit out of a group of pakis, Proof again, they come over hear and take all the f*****g best jobs... The funniest on this topic. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 A parrot swallows a viagra tablet his owner who is disgusted puts him in the freezer to cool off later he opens the freezer to find the parrot sweating how come your sweating ??????????? The parrot replies do you know how feckinn hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken. pmsl Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lee85 44 Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 Why did the semen cross the road? Because it was my first wank in two weeks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lanesra 3,961 Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 Ive put in a claim for industrial Deafness ............ ive heard nothing back yet ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lanesra 3,961 Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 Man goes into Welfare office with his dog and asks for his dog to be signed on the dole, Clerk asks, Are You Serious? What makes you think your dog can be signed on? Man replies, Well He's Black, He's Lazy, He doesn't know who his Father is and He doesn't speak English. What more do you f**king want??? :laugh: CLASS Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryhope toma 42 Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 who the f*ck said carlsberg was the greatest lager ? found half a can on me wall and it tasted like PISS ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryhope toma 42 Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 Little lad in bath with his mam , he says mam whats that ? she says son thats me FURR coat , he says take it back its got a hole inn ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lee85 44 Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 anyone seen that new film about the cat that works in the drugstore? puss in boots Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lee85 44 Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 What bounces and makes kids cry? My donation cheque to Children in Need. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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