nod 285 Posted December 2, 2011 Report Share Posted December 2, 2011 At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular. Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Glasgow, stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every year and his wife with a Volkswagen mini-van to transport their children!' The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds. Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands up and says, if the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education for all of his children!' More sighs and loud applause. Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, 'If the Vicar stays, I will give him free sex..' There is total silence. The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?' Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: 'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'f**k him'. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
graham4877 1,181 Posted December 2, 2011 Report Share Posted December 2, 2011 :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stabba 10,745 Posted December 2, 2011 Report Share Posted December 2, 2011 very good lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dymented 2,220 Posted December 2, 2011 Report Share Posted December 2, 2011 :laugh: thats a corker Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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