Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted April 2, 2007 Report Share Posted April 2, 2007 I just got this in my e mail, from a friend elsewhere. Nearly cost me a mouthfull of Guinness and a very expensive screen! Be Warned! "Do you Know Me?" Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer: In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest lurchers n lamps Posted April 2, 2007 Report Share Posted April 2, 2007 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
swamper 11 Posted April 3, 2007 Report Share Posted April 3, 2007 very good Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted April 3, 2007 Report Share Posted April 3, 2007 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
T.F.Student 0 Posted April 3, 2007 Report Share Posted April 3, 2007 (edited) Aint that the truth Went to renew my firearms some time ago...an old bobbie said "You dont remember me do you"...i didn't (shit with faces)...i passed the young bobbie behind the counter (who i'd met before the second time at a wedding ) the form...he said "FIREARMS CERTIFICATE" the old bobbie said" He's gonna fkin shoot us now" I left shaking my head :whistle:... well... i was young You never know...who or what your dealing with...till your knee deep then it's too late ...older people are the worst...BEWARE Edited April 3, 2007 by T.F.Student Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jacob 28 Posted April 3, 2007 Report Share Posted April 3, 2007 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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