The one 8,486 Posted November 23, 2011 Report Share Posted November 23, 2011 :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nod 285 Posted November 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2011 My mate just said, "if you was going to finger Susan Boyle, which one would you use?" I said, "Yours." 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
johnny boy68 11,726 Posted November 25, 2011 Report Share Posted November 25, 2011 The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night. I told her I was looking for cheap flights. "Oh I love you so much!" she said, then she got all excited, un-zipped my trousers and gave me the most amazing blow job ever...... .......which is really odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
johnny boy68 11,726 Posted November 26, 2011 Report Share Posted November 26, 2011 just bought a jehovahs witness advent calendar every time you open a door someone tells you to f**k off Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nod 285 Posted November 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2011 The wife came home from work and suggestively lifted her skirt and winked at me. "Oh," I said, "I'm just popping upstairs to slip into something a little more sexy first." "Ooh what is it", she asked. "It's your sister, she's staying the night. "A bloke I work with told me he was going to end his life. He was going to pour a gallon of petrol over himself and light a match. I told him "Ahmed, it's times like these that you need your family round you" 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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