the_stig 6,614 Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 I still answer the phone and say mental ward 22 or westwood funeral parlour you stab em we slab em.Or phoned my dad one night and said i was a meat merchant looking to buy danes for butcher meat he didnt recognise me and went flipping mental lol he was still ranting the next day i always say BONJOUR when i answer mine -- loads of people just hang up Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Simoman 110 Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 Has anybody got a link to the facebook prank where some blokes send that poor fella upto Scotland on a promise? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 know a guy who everytime he answeres the phone; "speak quickly" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
judge2010 196 Posted September 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 "heaven, god speaking" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 A few years back my pal was in the local taxi office with his wife after a night out and some pissed up squaddy started copping a feel of her leg while they were waiting. My mate isn't anything like a fighter, I don't think he's ever been in a fight, but he smacked this lad for six! My mate stood there, went white, panicked for half a second then grabbed his wife's arm and legged it! My mate isn't the quickest of lads & he can a bit of a nervous wreak sometimes, and when I told my brother what happened we laughed like f**k! My brother picked up his phone, dialled my mate and put on the most corny Welsh accent you can imagine and said: "Hello. This is Corporal Jones 'ere. I believe me and you may have had a bit of set too last night, as it were?" The phone went dead, and eventually my mate's stuttering voice came over the speaker: "Er, er, um, um, s,s,s sorry about that mate, I was a bit drunk and don't know what came over me!" At that me and my brother cracked up and he guessed it was us! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 A few years back my pal was in the local taxi office with his wife after a night out and some pissed up squaddy started copping a feel of her leg while they were waiting. My mate isn't anything like a fighter, I don't think he's ever been in a fight, but he smacked this lad for six! My mate stood there, went white, panicked for half a second then grabbed his wife's arm and legged it! My mate isn't the quickest of lads & he can a bit of a nervous wreak sometimes, and when I told my brother what happened we laughed like f**k! My brother picked up his phone, dialled my mate and put on the most corny Welsh accent you can imagine and said: "Hello. This is Corporal Jones 'ere. I believe me and you may have had a bit of set too last night, as it were?" The phone went dead, and eventually my mate's stuttering voice came over the speaker: "Er, er, um, um, s,s,s sorry about that mate, I was a bit drunk and don't know what came over me!" At that me and my brother cracked up and he guessed it was us! lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 A few years back my pal was in the local taxi office with his wife after a night out and some pissed up squaddy started copping a feel of her leg while they were waiting. My mate isn't anything like a fighter, I don't think he's ever been in a fight, but he smacked this lad for six! My mate stood there, went white, panicked for half a second then grabbed his wife's arm and legged it! My mate isn't the quickest of lads & he can a bit of a nervous wreak sometimes, and when I told my brother what happened we laughed like f**k! My brother picked up his phone, dialled my mate and put on the most corny Welsh accent you can imagine and said: "Hello. This is Corporal Jones 'ere. I believe me and you may have had a bit of set too last night, as it were?" The phone went dead, and eventually my mate's stuttering voice came over the speaker: "Er, er, um, um, s,s,s sorry about that mate, I was a bit drunk and don't know what came over me!" At that me and my brother cracked up and he guessed it was us! lol Poor old b*****d never has much luck in scraps! I remember one night he ran steaming towards a ruck in a pub and as he ran past the bouncer on the door, the bouncer gaffed hold of him and quickly turned him 90 degrees. My mate kept running and before he knew where he was he was out the door & half way across the street! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 A few years back my pal was in the local taxi office with his wife after a night out and some pissed up squaddy started copping a feel of her leg while they were waiting. My mate isn't anything like a fighter, I don't think he's ever been in a fight, but he smacked this lad for six! My mate stood there, went white, panicked for half a second then grabbed his wife's arm and legged it! My mate isn't the quickest of lads & he can a bit of a nervous wreak sometimes, and when I told my brother what happened we laughed like f**k! My brother picked up his phone, dialled my mate and put on the most corny Welsh accent you can imagine and said: "Hello. This is Corporal Jones 'ere. I believe me and you may have had a bit of set too last night, as it were?" The phone went dead, and eventually my mate's stuttering voice came over the speaker: "Er, er, um, um, s,s,s sorry about that mate, I was a bit drunk and don't know what came over me!" At that me and my brother cracked up and he guessed it was us! Classic........ Reminded me off something that happened to my Dad. He was out walking the greyhounds years back and he decided with it being very early in the morning and no one around he could let one of the greyhounds of for a bit excersise. Went about 100 yards and a wee dog came running onto the park. Greyhound grabbed it and was ragging it....a woman appeared screaming and a man came running out of his house with a spade and whacked the greyhound. Anyway my dad said "Dont involve the police and i will pay the vet bill. That night police at the door.....he explained the story and because both dogs were of the lead then nothing could be done. Next chap at the door was the woman with the vet bill........."stick it up your arse" was his reply! He was telling his mates this and they decided to wind him up saying that her Husband was a marine in the Army, a big lad and he wouldn't be happy. A while past and then 1 night a wee man came up to my Dad and said who he was, 4 ft f**k all and the had a blether about the dog and a pint together. His mates had a good laugh at his expense..... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 years ago was working the door and these two lads squared up to each other.one ripped of his shirt and shouted. "you just f****d with the wrong marine"(quote from a few good men) the other lad duly knocked him clean out lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 years ago was working the door and these two lads squared up to each other.one ripped of his shirt and shouted. "you just f****d with the wrong marine"(quote from a few good men) the other lad duly knocked him clean out lol You must have seen some cracking scraps mate working the doors........ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Simoman 110 Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 scott, didnt work the door, he guarded the cloakroom at toyr r us Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 years ago was working the door and these two lads squared up to each other.one ripped of his shirt and shouted. "you just f****d with the wrong marine"(quote from a few good men) the other lad duly knocked him clean out lol You must have seen some cracking scraps mate working the doors........ oh aye mate,some funny as fights some serious ones aswell.seen a lad binded with a pint tumbler poor c**t Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 scott, didnt work the door, he guarded the cloakroom at toyr r us Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Simoman 110 Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 Anyway , anybody got that facebook video where some fellas sent a lad upto Scotland on a promise, made him video himself sucking a dildo then phoned him to tell him it was all a joke????? was posted on here some time back Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 get dances to look he is a face book freak Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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