Silly Stories from Childhood

[drwolly 8]

fook me what shit do you lot smoke? I need about three pound of the stuff....just get the misses to fookin laugh!

[Ideation 8,216]

Not laughed so hard in ages.

 

 

[Guest thebigdog]

  On 07/09/2011 at 16:10, judge2010 said:

  On 07/09/2011 at 15:58, scothunter said:

  On 07/09/2011 at 15:31, judge2010 said:

  On 07/09/2011 at 15:30, johnny boy68 said:

  On 07/09/2011 at 11:45, thebigdog said:

  On 07/09/2011 at 11:32, rob190364 said:

Anyone have any silly stories from their childhood?

 

I used to shake my hand to try and get coffee beans to appear...could never understand why they managed on the advert but I couldn't do it.

 

I used to worry in case king kong reached through my window and took me during the night.

 

The first time I ever got grounded was because I did a dump in a donald duck bucket in the garden because I couldn't be bothered going upstairs (I was 5). I hid it behind the shed and my mum found it cos she could smell it when hanging the washing out

 

I tried to shut the boot of the car by pulling on the hydraulic pistol thing that holds the boot lid up, it snapped and trapped my head in the car boot.

 

When I was 7 I made poison using bubblebath, detol, toothpaste and mouthwash and poured it down the sink to kill any sharks that might be lurking anywhere near Britain, I've never seen one yet so I obviously did a very good job!

 

I used to worry when I was sunbathing incase vultures thought I was dead and started circling above me.

 

I once found an old toilet seat so was using it as a sledge and sliding down a rubble slope, on about the forth slide I bit a brick and the seat split in half leaving me sliding down the slope on my arse. Walking home with no back on my trousers was ever so slightly embarrassing!

 

My only scurmish with the law as a child was when I was writing 'samantha fox is fit' on a post box....IN PENCIL!!!....when a rozzer came round the corner on his bike. I had to give him my address and he proceeded to cycle round the corner and tell my parents. That was my second grounding.

 

Anyone else?...........

 

 

by any chance did you take the little bus to school.

that scothunter?

 

cheeky c**t,but tbh id rather be him than whats on his shirt

:laugh:

 

 

:laugh: bet his favourite colour is ham. :laugh:

[scothunter 12,609]

:laugh:

[rob190364 2,594]

When I was 4 me and my older sister were sat on the dining table doing a jigsaw......where's the H&S parents??? My ma came in and gave us a doughnut each and being a greedy little git I took a lunge to snatch my sisters doughnut and fell off the table and broke my arm.

 

My mum and dad had gone out so I nipped upstairs to get my video of all the decent eurotrash clips I'd painstakingly recorded over several years (kids today don't know how lucky they are with the internet!!!), as I just sat and watched (pre the days where I knew the REAL purpose of such material ) I was bouncing my rugby ball (???) and as I bounced it landed on one end flew at the video player and smashed the eject button clean off.....I tried everything imaginable to try and get the cassette out but failed. As my dad was trying to fix the video that afternoon is was a mixture of dread in case he fixed it and saw what I was watching, and devestation at losing several years work........at the end of that emotional rollercoaster of a day I lost everything but thankfully still had my innocent reputation in tact.

 

I went down the canal with my mate cos a load of builders had left a pile of rubble there, we were picking up the big bits and throwing them in the canal off the bridge. I picked up the biggest bit I could find lifted it over my head and shouted he-man, then it broke down the middle and both bits landed on top of my head. My mate almost had a seizure he was laughing so much....tw't!

 

My uncle took me ratting in his allotment, instead of dressing appropriately I went in shorts. Just as we were getting ready to start I got attacked by a male turkey and it cut all my shins open, as I tried to run away I tripped and went face first into a load of nettles. So 5 minutes after setting off for our ratting expedition I was running back to my nans with blood pumping out of my shins covered in red blotches crying my eyes out, my mum thought I'd been attacked by a swarm of rats!!!

 

When my sister first started work she was working in a lab but had a reaction to the latex gloves so had to put this cream on her hands regularly. She was on the drive just setting off as I went in the bathroom and noticed she'd forgotten her cream, I grabbed the cream and went to leg it down stairs to catch her before she set off, but dripped on the dirty washing I'd just left at the top of the stairs and went flying down the stairs, rolled over about three times as I was tumbling and landed on my back at the bottom....when my mum rushed to see what had happed I was lying their wheezing like buggery, holding the cream up just saying "she's forgotten the cream" as if nothing had happened. Bizarrely my mum just took the cream off me and took it to my sister......I could have been bloody paralysed!!!

 

When I think about it I don't know how I've got as far as I have......my childhood was one long trauma!!!

[scothunter 12,609]

  On 08/09/2011 at 08:03, rob190364 said:

When I was 4 me and my older sister were sat on the dining table doing a jigsaw......where's the H&S parents??? My ma came in and gave us a doughnut each and being a greedy little git I took a lunge to snatch my sisters doughnut and fell off the table and broke my arm.

 

My mum and dad had gone out so I nipped upstairs to get my video of all the decent eurotrash clips I'd painstakingly recorded over several years (kids today don't know how lucky they are with the internet!!!), as I just sat and watched (pre the days where I knew the REAL purpose of such material ) I was bouncing my rugby ball (???) and as I bounced it landed on one end flew at the video player and smashed the eject button clean off.....I tried everything imaginable to try and get the cassette out but failed. As my dad was trying to fix the video that afternoon is was a mixture of dread in case he fixed it and saw what I was watching, and devestation at losing several years work........at the end of that emotional rollercoaster of a day I lost everything but thankfully still had my innocent reputation in tact.

 

I went down the canal with my mate cos a load of builders had left a pile of rubble there, we were picking up the big bits and throwing them in the canal off the bridge. I picked up the biggest bit I could find lifted it over my head and shouted he-man, then it broke down the middle and both bits landed on top of my head. My mate almost had a seizure he was laughing so much....tw't!

 

My uncle took me ratting in his allotment, instead of dressing appropriately I went in shorts. Just as we were getting ready to start I got attacked by a male turkey and it cut all my shins open, as I tried to run away I tripped and went face first into a load of nettles. So 5 minutes after setting off for our ratting expedition I was running back to my nans with blood pumping out of my shins covered in red blotches crying my eyes out, my mum thought I'd been attacked by a swarm of rats!!!

 

When my sister first started work she was working in a lab but had a reaction to the latex gloves so had to put this cream on her hands regularly. She was on the drive just setting off as I went in the bathroom and noticed she'd forgotten her cream, I grabbed the cream and went to leg it down stairs to catch her before she set off, but dripped on the dirty washing I'd just left at the top of the stairs and went flying down the stairs, rolled over about three times as I was tumbling and landed on my back at the bottom....when my mum rushed to see what had happed I was lying their wheezing like buggery, holding the cream up just saying "she's forgotten the cream" as if nothing had happened. Bizarrely my mum just took the cream off me and took it to my sister......I could have been bloody paralysed!!!

 

When I think about it I don't know how I've got as far as I have......my childhood was one long trauma!!!

 

what were yu doing in the bathroom,that made you drip on the washing lol

[rob190364 2,594]

My mornings were always a bit frantic because I had to set off at 8:30 but didn't used to get out of bed until 8:20, I was already 'de-stressed' by then though so that wasn't the reason if that's what you're thinking

[scothunter 12,609]

  On 08/09/2011 at 08:17, rob190364 said:

My mornings were always a bit frantic because I had to set off at 8:30 but didn't used to get out of bed until 8:20, I was already 'de-stressed' by then though so that wasn't the reason if that's what you're thinking

 

lol