rob190364 2,594 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 (edited) Anyone have any silly stories from their childhood? I used to shake my hand to try and get coffee beans to appear...could never understand why they managed on the advert but I couldn't do it. I used to worry in case king kong reached through my window and took me during the night. The first time I ever got grounded was because I did a dump in a donald duck bucket in the garden because I couldn't be bothered going upstairs (I was 5). I hid it behind the shed and my mum found it cos she could smell it when hanging the washing out I tried to shut the boot of the car by pulling on the hydraulic pistol thing that holds the boot lid up, it snapped and trapped my head in the car boot. When I was 7 I made poison using bubblebath, detol, toothpaste and mouthwash and poured it down the sink to kill any sharks that might be lurking anywhere near Britain, I've never seen one yet so I obviously did a very good job! I used to worry when I was sunbathing incase vultures thought I was dead and started circling above me. I once found an old toilet seat so was using it as a sledge and sliding down a rubble slope, on about the forth slide I bit a brick and the seat split in half leaving me sliding down the slope on my arse. Walking home with no back on my trousers was ever so slightly embarrassing! My only scurmish with the law as a child was when I was writing 'samantha fox is fit' on a post box....IN PENCIL!!!....when a rozzer came round the corner on his bike. I had to give him my address and he proceeded to cycle round the corner and tell my parents. That was my second grounding. Anyone else?........... Edited September 7, 2011 by rob190364 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest thebigdog Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Anyone have any silly stories from their childhood? I used to shake my hand to try and get coffee beans to appear...could never understand why they managed on the advert but I couldn't do it. I used to worry in case king kong reached through my window and took me during the night. The first time I ever got grounded was because I did a dump in a donald duck bucket in the garden because I couldn't be bothered going upstairs (I was 5). I hid it behind the shed and my mum found it cos she could smell it when hanging the washing out I tried to shut the boot of the car by pulling on the hydraulic pistol thing that holds the boot lid up, it snapped and trapped my head in the car boot. When I was 7 I made poison using bubblebath, detol, toothpaste and mouthwash and poured it down the sink to kill any sharks that might be lurking anywhere near Britain, I've never seen one yet so I obviously did a very good job! I used to worry when I was sunbathing incase vultures thought I was dead and started circling above me. I once found an old toilet seat so was using it as a sledge and sliding down a rubble slope, on about the forth slide I bit a brick and the seat split in half leaving me sliding down the slope on my arse. Walking home with no back on my trousers was ever so slightly embarrassing! My only scurmish with the law as a child was when I was writing 'samantha fox is fit' on a post box....IN PENCIL!!!....when a rozzer came round the corner on his bike. I had to give him my address and he proceeded to cycle round the corner and tell my parents. That was my second grounding. Anyone else?........... by any chance did you take the little bus to school. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Anyone have any silly stories from their childhood? I used to shake my hand to try and get coffee beans to appear...could never understand why they managed on the advert but I couldn't do it. I used to worry in case king kong reached through my window and took me during the night. The first time I ever got grounded was because I did a dump in a donald duck bucket in the garden because I couldn't be bothered going upstairs (I was 5). I hid it behind the shed and my mum found it cos she could smell it when hanging the washing out I tried to shut the boot of the car by pulling on the hydraulic pistol thing that holds the boot lid up, it snapped and trapped my head in the car boot. When I was 7 I made poison using bubblebath, detol, toothpaste and mouthwash and poured it down the sink to kill any sharks that might be lurking anywhere near Britain, I've never seen one yet so I obviously did a very good job! I used to worry when I was sunbathing incase vultures thought I was dead and started circling above me. I once found an old toilet seat so was using it as a sledge and sliding down a rubble slope, on about the forth slide I bit a brick and the seat split in half leaving me sliding down the slope on my arse. Walking home with no back on my trousers was ever so slightly embarrassing! My only scurmish with the law as a child was when I was writing 'samantha fox is fit' on a post box....IN PENCIL!!!....when a rozzer came round the corner on his bike. I had to give him my address and he proceeded to cycle round the corner and tell my parents. That was my second grounding. Anyone else?........... by any chance did you take the little bus to school. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rob190364 2,594 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Anyone have any silly stories from their childhood? I used to shake my hand to try and get coffee beans to appear...could never understand why they managed on the advert but I couldn't do it. I used to worry in case king kong reached through my window and took me during the night. The first time I ever got grounded was because I did a dump in a donald duck bucket in the garden because I couldn't be bothered going upstairs (I was 5). I hid it behind the shed and my mum found it cos she could smell it when hanging the washing out I tried to shut the boot of the car by pulling on the hydraulic pistol thing that holds the boot lid up, it snapped and trapped my head in the car boot. When I was 7 I made poison using bubblebath, detol, toothpaste and mouthwash and poured it down the sink to kill any sharks that might be lurking anywhere near Britain, I've never seen one yet so I obviously did a very good job! I used to worry when I was sunbathing incase vultures thought I was dead and started circling above me. I once found an old toilet seat so was using it as a sledge and sliding down a rubble slope, on about the forth slide I bit a brick and the seat split in half leaving me sliding down the slope on my arse. Walking home with no back on my trousers was ever so slightly embarrassing! My only scurmish with the law as a child was when I was writing 'samantha fox is fit' on a post box....IN PENCIL!!!....when a rozzer came round the corner on his bike. I had to give him my address and he proceeded to cycle round the corner and tell my parents. That was my second grounding. Anyone else?........... by any chance did you take the little bus to school. no they wouldn't let me on it because I kept weeing on the seats. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
craigyboy 1,274 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 quality i used to do the poison in the bathroom trick but it wasnt to stop sharks,it was to stop giant spiders coming up our drains and killing us in the night Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Well thats confirmed it for me.............your are one weird mother f****r Rob........... Got burnt when i was little and had to have a skin graft on my chest. Its in the shape of the superman badge so obviously i was superman when i was young(up to about 30)... My claim to fame when i was young was being able to talk clearly pretty early and could say big words like Pomegranate.............. I have more stitches and cuts on me than i'd care to have, all self inflicted........f*****g clumsy idiot growing up... I seen a dwarf when i was young and shouted "Dad, dad look at the wee man................!!".... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 i was a really bad swearer as a kid,and went to visit my grandad in hospital,i was running abut the ward and went up this bed,where an old retired wing commander from the war was lying,and said "are you my f*****g grandad"? he replied in a posh accent "indeed i am not"! cant actualy remeber any of it i was only 3 lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 i was a really bad swearer as a kid,and went to visit my grandad in hospital,i was running abut the ward and went up this bed,where an old retired wing commander from the war was lying,and said "are you my f*****g grandad"? he replied in a posh accent "indeed i am not"! cant actualy remmeber any of it i was onky 3 lol I think that will bring a tear to Robs eye that mate ........he constantly ran about the streets when he was young asking "Are you my daddy mister?"............. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rob190364 2,594 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 i was a really bad swearer as a kid,and went to visit my grandad in hospital,i was running abut the ward and went up this bed,where an old retired wing commander from the war was lying,and said "are you my f*****g grandad"? he replied in a posh accent "indeed i am not"! cant actualy remmeber any of it i was onky 3 lol I think that will bring a tear to Robs eye that mate ........he constantly ran about the streets when he was young asking "Are you my daddy mister?"............. No I didn't you helmet! ................................I didn't need to ask cos my uncle showed me who the daddy was everytime he was babysitting for us Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 i was a really bad swearer as a kid,and went to visit my grandad in hospital,i was running abut the ward and went up this bed,where an old retired wing commander from the war was lying,and said "are you my f*****g grandad"? he replied in a posh accent "indeed i am not"! cant actualy remmeber any of it i was onky 3 lol I think that will bring a tear to Robs eye that mate ........he constantly ran about the streets when he was young asking "Are you my daddy mister?"............. No I didn't you helmet! ................................I didn't need to ask cos my uncle showed me who the daddy was everytime he was babysitting for us .....Old uncle Frankie was it.......come on little Rob, lets see if you can get Uncle frankies pet snake to be sick again.................. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rob190364 2,594 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 i was a really bad swearer as a kid,and went to visit my grandad in hospital,i was running abut the ward and went up this bed,where an old retired wing commander from the war was lying,and said "are you my f*****g grandad"? he replied in a posh accent "indeed i am not"! cant actualy remmeber any of it i was onky 3 lol I think that will bring a tear to Robs eye that mate ........he constantly ran about the streets when he was young asking "Are you my daddy mister?"............. No I didn't you helmet! ................................I didn't need to ask cos my uncle showed me who the daddy was everytime he was babysitting for us .....Old uncle Frankie was it.......come on little Rob, lets see if you can get Uncle frankies pet snake to be sick again.................. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 another thread dragged down to gutter level lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rob190364 2,594 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 another thread dragged down to gutter level lol I know, it's lab.....he's like gary glitters warped cousin! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 another thread dragged down to gutter level lol Robs fault......... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rob190364 2,594 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Another one, I was playing footy on the field with my mate and we were having a row about who has to get the ball when one of us booted it across the field, so I went to boot it in a rage and slipped on the piss my dog has just done, missed the ball and landed on my arse, in the piss! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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