joke...offensive to many but not all!

[RossM 8,119]

• After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn"t buy them a bigger bed and they weren"t strong enough to nick one.The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn"t want to have any more children.The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive.A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don"t see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.""Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.This procedure also works in Middlesbrough, parts of Bradford, anywhere in Ireland and most blondes
  

[RossM 8,119]

• Ferrari"s Formula 1 team manager decided to employ some Liverpudlian teenagers as their pit crew. This was because of their renowned skill at removing car wheels quickly. At the first practice session, not only did they change all 4 wheels in 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged & sold the f****r to the McLaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed & some pictures of lewis hamiltons bird getting shagged up the arse.
  

[dymented 2,220]

two corkers there bud :laugh:

[RossM 8,119]

• Little Johnny was just being potty trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps: 1. Unbutton pants 2. Pull pants down 3. Pull foreskin back 4. Pee 5. Push foreskin forward 6. Pull pants up and button upShe walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1,2,3,4,5,6 and she was thinking she did good.Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast 3-5,3-5,3-5...
  

[buster 8789 64]

• After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn"t buy them a bigger bed and they weren"t strong enough to nick one.The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn"t want to have any more children.The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive.A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don"t see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.""Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.This procedure also works in Middlesbrough, parts of Bradford, anywhere in Ireland and most blondes
  

 

:laugh:

[WILF 46,927]

My mate sent me this over the weekend:

 

Anal sex is a lot like my first car....................I didnt really want it, but my uncle gave it to me anyway!!

Edited September 4, 2011 by WILF

[spanj 11]

• After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn"t buy them a bigger bed and they weren"t strong enough to nick one.The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn"t want to have any more children.The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive.A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don"t see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.""Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.This procedure also works in Middlesbrough, parts of Bradford, anywhere in Ireland and most blondes
  

 

Thats a laugh, a scot calling somebody else mean........ I'm almost offended lol

[.terrier man. 193]

aint a joke but still funny as f**k

 

have a look on facebook theres a page called 'Being a top african and getting the water in for the lads' :laugh:

[scothunter 12,609]

2 blacks jump of a building,which one lands first?

 

who gives a f**k!

 

 

why is a paki wedding cake made of shite?

 

to keep the fies of the bride!