goldfinch2007 2,333 Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 dear bogger i have a 12 week old bitch here do you know of any choc patt stud dogs? dear finch my advice is just to let it roam the streets an be serviced by any old stray like the rest of the gypsys do my hero Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bogger 243 Posted August 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Dear Bogger, please please please help me. I have this problem where I have an enourmous mouth on social web sites, I have lots of confidence, well behind a screen mostly, however when I actually meet people I become very shy, I begin to shake, and my palms get really sweaty. Everytime I try to speak nothing comes out. No matter how hard I try I just cannot do it. Very recently I was in my local shop, the lady behind the counter asked me what I would like. I couldn't say a word, my mouth was slightly ajar, but I couldn't speak. I went all shy, and gooey, my left leg began to violently shake. I pointed but that was no use. There was a fountain pen on the counter so I picked it up and on the back of my hand I wrote "10 Lambert & Butler please". The lady smiled and reached over and put the packet on the counter. I was so desperate to have a drag of one those cigs especially now! The lady then asked me if I would like anything else. Well I tried to reply, again my mouth was ajar, my jaw was rattling and I started to dribble down my chin. The shop assitant then began to do sign language to me. Oh noooo, I was really worried, I panicked, bless her she thought I was deaf. I picked up the box of fags and ran out of the shop. I didn't get far, I'm well overweight, I was rugby tackled by a policeman near the doll centre. "Your nicked son" I tried to explain my actions to this officer but I couldn't speak. I got cuffed, he had to use 2 pairs as my wrists are that fat, he then took me to the nick. The custody sergent was asking me all these questions about myself, I could see he was getting frustrated, my left leg began to shake again, palms sweating, feeling all gooey. Anyway I wrote on some paper that I wanted one call to my best mate Hedz. Eventually Hedz came to the nick and did all the talking for me. I admitted the theft on paper and got a caution. I cant keep going on like this, I will end up in serious trouble, and how on earth am I going to meet someone, settle and have a family! I have even tried buying a dog as I was told that pets can help people with certain difficulties, however this bull thing hasn't cured me....useless thing! Could you make this request a priority and please help me. Regards, Artic. for you artic that was quite amusing i will just add one thing though hedz has got the balls to meet said person an not avoid them :laugh: What's the point if you don't speak Bogger? Feck that a gobshite whilst out lamping in my book is a grade a wanker im not walking miles for all the bunnies to feck off from all the noise if you want to hear my sweet voice and hear tales from the bottom of my heart take me out for a candle lit dinner you faggot Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hedz31 1,308 Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Dear Bogger, please please please help me. I have this problem where I have an enourmous mouth on social web sites, I have lots of confidence, well behind a screen mostly, however when I actually meet people I become very shy, I begin to shake, and my palms get really sweaty. Everytime I try to speak nothing comes out. No matter how hard I try I just cannot do it. Very recently I was in my local shop, the lady behind the counter asked me what I would like. I couldn't say a word, my mouth was slightly ajar, but I couldn't speak. I went all shy, and gooey, my left leg began to violently shake. I pointed but that was no use. There was a fountain pen on the counter so I picked it up and on the back of my hand I wrote "10 Lambert & Butler please". The lady smiled and reached over and put the packet on the counter. I was so desperate to have a drag of one those cigs especially now! The lady then asked me if I would like anything else. Well I tried to reply, again my mouth was ajar, my jaw was rattling and I started to dribble down my chin. The shop assitant then began to do sign language to me. Oh noooo, I was really worried, I panicked, bless her she thought I was deaf. I picked up the box of fags and ran out of the shop. I didn't get far, I'm well overweight, I was rugby tackled by a policeman near the doll centre. "Your nicked son" I tried to explain my actions to this officer but I couldn't speak. I got cuffed, he had to use 2 pairs as my wrists are that fat, he then took me to the nick. The custody sergent was asking me all these questions about myself, I could see he was getting frustrated, my left leg began to shake again, palms sweating, feeling all gooey. Anyway I wrote on some paper that I wanted one call to my best mate Hedz. Eventually Hedz came to the nick and did all the talking for me. I admitted the theft on paper and got a caution. I cant keep going on like this, I will end up in serious trouble, and how on earth am I going to meet someone, settle and have a family! I have even tried buying a dog as I was told that pets can help people with certain difficulties, however this bull thing hasn't cured me....useless thing! Could you make this request a priority and please help me. Regards, Artic. for you artic that was quite amusing i will just add one thing though hedz has got the balls to meet said person an not avoid them :laugh: What's the point if you don't speak Bogger? Feck that a gobshite whilst out lamping in my book is a grade a wanker im not walking miles for all the bunnies to feck off from all the noise if you want to hear my sweet voice and hear tales from the bottom of my heart take me out for a candle lit dinner you faggot I see ye pair are still getting along sweetly :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
artic 595 Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Dear Bogger, please please please help me. I have this problem where I have an enourmous mouth on social web sites, I have lots of confidence, well behind a screen mostly, however when I actually meet people I become very shy, I begin to shake, and my palms get really sweaty. Everytime I try to speak nothing comes out. No matter how hard I try I just cannot do it. Very recently I was in my local shop, the lady behind the counter asked me what I would like. I couldn't say a word, my mouth was slightly ajar, but I couldn't speak. I went all shy, and gooey, my left leg began to violently shake. I pointed but that was no use. There was a fountain pen on the counter so I picked it up and on the back of my hand I wrote "10 Lambert & Butler please". The lady smiled and reached over and put the packet on the counter. I was so desperate to have a drag of one those cigs especially now! The lady then asked me if I would like anything else. Well I tried to reply, again my mouth was ajar, my jaw was rattling and I started to dribble down my chin. The shop assitant then began to do sign language to me. Oh noooo, I was really worried, I panicked, bless her she thought I was deaf. I picked up the box of fags and ran out of the shop. I didn't get far, I'm well overweight, I was rugby tackled by a policeman near the doll centre. "Your nicked son" I tried to explain my actions to this officer but I couldn't speak. I got cuffed, he had to use 2 pairs as my wrists are that fat, he then took me to the nick. The custody sergent was asking me all these questions about myself, I could see he was getting frustrated, my left leg began to shake again, palms sweating, feeling all gooey. Anyway I wrote on some paper that I wanted one call to my best mate Hedz. Eventually Hedz came to the nick and did all the talking for me. I admitted the theft on paper and got a caution. I cant keep going on like this, I will end up in serious trouble, and how on earth am I going to meet someone, settle and have a family! I have even tried buying a dog as I was told that pets can help people with certain difficulties, however this bull thing hasn't cured me....useless thing! Could you make this request a priority and please help me. Regards, Artic. for you artic that was quite amusing i will just add one thing though hedz has got the balls to meet said person an not avoid them :laugh: What's the point if you don't speak Bogger? Feck that a gobshite whilst out lamping in my book is a grade a wanker im not walking miles for all the bunnies to feck off from all the noise if you want to hear my sweet voice and hear tales from the bottom of my heart take me out for a candle lit dinner you faggot Walk for miles you say? heard it all now I heard you walk a small way, panting like no tomorrow and rest on the kissing gates "You carry on, huff puff........ I'll catch up" I'm a faggot, yet your the one inviting me out for a candle lit dinner....or is that Fray Bentos steak and ale pie with chips? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stabba 10,745 Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Best thread for ages Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bogger 243 Posted August 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Dear Bogger, please please please help me. I have this problem where I have an enourmous mouth on social web sites, I have lots of confidence, well behind a screen mostly, however when I actually meet people I become very shy, I begin to shake, and my palms get really sweaty. Everytime I try to speak nothing comes out. No matter how hard I try I just cannot do it. Very recently I was in my local shop, the lady behind the counter asked me what I would like. I couldn't say a word, my mouth was slightly ajar, but I couldn't speak. I went all shy, and gooey, my left leg began to violently shake. I pointed but that was no use. There was a fountain pen on the counter so I picked it up and on the back of my hand I wrote "10 Lambert & Butler please". The lady smiled and reached over and put the packet on the counter. I was so desperate to have a drag of one those cigs especially now! The lady then asked me if I would like anything else. Well I tried to reply, again my mouth was ajar, my jaw was rattling and I started to dribble down my chin. The shop assitant then began to do sign language to me. Oh noooo, I was really worried, I panicked, bless her she thought I was deaf. I picked up the box of fags and ran out of the shop. I didn't get far, I'm well overweight, I was rugby tackled by a policeman near the doll centre. "Your nicked son" I tried to explain my actions to this officer but I couldn't speak. I got cuffed, he had to use 2 pairs as my wrists are that fat, he then took me to the nick. The custody sergent was asking me all these questions about myself, I could see he was getting frustrated, my left leg began to shake again, palms sweating, feeling all gooey. Anyway I wrote on some paper that I wanted one call to my best mate Hedz. Eventually Hedz came to the nick and did all the talking for me. I admitted the theft on paper and got a caution. I cant keep going on like this, I will end up in serious trouble, and how on earth am I going to meet someone, settle and have a family! I have even tried buying a dog as I was told that pets can help people with certain difficulties, however this bull thing hasn't cured me....useless thing! Could you make this request a priority and please help me. Regards, Artic. for you artic that was quite amusing i will just add one thing though hedz has got the balls to meet said person an not avoid them :laugh: What's the point if you don't speak Bogger? Feck that a gobshite whilst out lamping in my book is a grade a wanker im not walking miles for all the bunnies to feck off from all the noise if you want to hear my sweet voice and hear tales from the bottom of my heart take me out for a candle lit dinner you faggot Walk for miles you say? heard it all now I heard you walk a small way, panting like no tomorrow and rest on the kissing gates "You carry on, huff puff........ I'll catch up" I'm a faggot, yet your the one inviting me out for a candle lit dinner....or is that Fray Bentos steak and ale pie with chips? id have no bother out walking you and your one leg old chap and im not fussed what we eat aslong as your paying big boy Quote Link to post Share on other sites
artic 595 Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Dear Bogger, please please please help me. I have this problem where I have an enourmous mouth on social web sites, I have lots of confidence, well behind a screen mostly, however when I actually meet people I become very shy, I begin to shake, and my palms get really sweaty. Everytime I try to speak nothing comes out. No matter how hard I try I just cannot do it. Very recently I was in my local shop, the lady behind the counter asked me what I would like. I couldn't say a word, my mouth was slightly ajar, but I couldn't speak. I went all shy, and gooey, my left leg began to violently shake. I pointed but that was no use. There was a fountain pen on the counter so I picked it up and on the back of my hand I wrote "10 Lambert & Butler please". The lady smiled and reached over and put the packet on the counter. I was so desperate to have a drag of one those cigs especially now! The lady then asked me if I would like anything else. Well I tried to reply, again my mouth was ajar, my jaw was rattling and I started to dribble down my chin. The shop assitant then began to do sign language to me. Oh noooo, I was really worried, I panicked, bless her she thought I was deaf. I picked up the box of fags and ran out of the shop. I didn't get far, I'm well overweight, I was rugby tackled by a policeman near the doll centre. "Your nicked son" I tried to explain my actions to this officer but I couldn't speak. I got cuffed, he had to use 2 pairs as my wrists are that fat, he then took me to the nick. The custody sergent was asking me all these questions about myself, I could see he was getting frustrated, my left leg began to shake again, palms sweating, feeling all gooey. Anyway I wrote on some paper that I wanted one call to my best mate Hedz. Eventually Hedz came to the nick and did all the talking for me. I admitted the theft on paper and got a caution. I cant keep going on like this, I will end up in serious trouble, and how on earth am I going to meet someone, settle and have a family! I have even tried buying a dog as I was told that pets can help people with certain difficulties, however this bull thing hasn't cured me....useless thing! Could you make this request a priority and please help me. Regards, Artic. for you artic that was quite amusing i will just add one thing though hedz has got the balls to meet said person an not avoid them :laugh: What's the point if you don't speak Bogger? Feck that a gobshite whilst out lamping in my book is a grade a wanker im not walking miles for all the bunnies to feck off from all the noise if you want to hear my sweet voice and hear tales from the bottom of my heart take me out for a candle lit dinner you faggot Walk for miles you say? heard it all now I heard you walk a small way, panting like no tomorrow and rest on the kissing gates "You carry on, huff puff........ I'll catch up" I'm a faggot, yet your the one inviting me out for a candle lit dinner....or is that Fray Bentos steak and ale pie with chips? id have no bother out walking you and your one leg old chap and im not fussed what we eat aslong as your paying big boy That's the spirit! Hold on...I just read the bit about me paying. Now my left leg is really shaking and my palms are starting to sweat too! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bogger 243 Posted August 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Best thread for ages theres alot of love on this thread Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LAZYBSTARD 225 Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 DEAR BOGGER YOU LEFT A PAIR OF FESTERING SOCKS UNDER MY MOTHERS BED WHICH SHE NOW KEEPS IN A JAM JAR WHAT WILL I DO PS IM A SCHIZOPHRENIC BUT AS YOU CAN SEE IM NEARLY BACK TO MY OLD SELF Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jigsaw 11,899 Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 I got to tell you guys,Ive really laughed at this.I think Im missing the point but feck it........its a great read,lol. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LAZYBSTARD 225 Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 f**k tom jones an stiff little fingers fan is on Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bogger 243 Posted August 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 DEAR BOGGER YOU LEFT A PAIR OF FESTERING SOCKS UNDER MY MOTHERS BED WHICH SHE NOW KEEPS IN A JAM JAR WHAT WILL I DO PS IM A SCHIZOPHRENIC BUT AS YOU CAN SEE IM NEARLY BACK TO MY OLD SELF dear lazy my question to you is which one of your old selfs are you going back to as your a schizophrenic as for the socks she can keep them shes earnt them with the many a night i spent there son Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LAZYBSTARD 225 Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 DEAR BOGGER YOU LEFT A PAIR OF FESTERING SOCKS UNDER MY MOTHERS BED WHICH SHE NOW KEEPS IN A JAM JAR WHAT WILL I DO PS IM A SCHIZOPHRENIC BUT AS YOU CAN SEE IM NEARLY BACK TO MY OLD SELF dear lazy my question to you is which one of your old selfs are you going back to as your a schizophrenic as for the socks she can keep them shes earnt them with the many a night i spent there son bogger im back to the slobbering one........ and as for the socks she wouldnt part with them when the house is full of flys she just takes the top of Quote Link to post Share on other sites
danw 1,748 Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Dear Bogger, There has been a lot of talk just lately about big cats and if you saw one what would you do well I have just shot my load into a big black pussy and I think I have killed it do you think I should post the pics or the video as proof they exist? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LAZYBSTARD 225 Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Dear Bogger, There has been a lot of talk just lately about big cats and if you saw one what would you do well I have just shot my load into a big black pussy and I think I have killed it do you think I should post the pics or the video as proof they exist? skin it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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