Free meat

[Ossie 11]

PMSL!

them pensioners can be vicious! i met some right rude old buggers on my post round, got a handful of gravel to the head for daring to shortcut across this miserable old gits lawn rather than go the long way round on the path!

[TOMO 26,064]

GREAT STORIES THE TEARS ARE RUNNING DOWN MY MACE , I WAS LAFFIN THAT MUCH

[jacob 28]

feckin funny ,the one about the calf will be doing the rounds, thats a classic

[Guest Frank]

 

Frank.

[jigsaw 11,863]

Glad you enjoyed,as you can tell you couldnt make up stories like that.When I look back at those incidents I still find it hard to believe they happened.Happy days huh!

[Guest MOLLY]

Brilliant

MOLL.

 

On the subject of the fallen stock, the farmer i live next to now has to pay quite a bit of money for each animal to be removed...gone are the days of giving it away or selling it. Dont quote me on this but im sure he said it was about £30 for a ewe and £70-£80ish for beast. I can ask him the correct amounts if you really want to know?

MOLL.

[jigsaw 11,863]

Molly they are computerised as ditch said and cant just dissapear from radar,they have to be accounted for.I was hoping someone might have a way of side stepping this as you lot on here dont miss much If you wouldnt mind,ask him if he ever heard of anyone getting around this,I've asked the farmers I know but no one has clue if it can be done.Jigsaw.

[dodger 2,754]

Could be snoopdog ,by the way thanks for the confidence building ya bas***d lol Right here goes,I'll tell this as I remember it,I was walking with a pit bull bitch a few years ago through the countryside.The place I was at had a fair few rabbits and the bitch was right keen to catch them and she spent her time galloping here there and everywhere trying to catch them.This is a great way way to get a dog fit as you'd know.Well I came to a field full of sheep so I put the bitch on the lead,I proceeded to walk through the flock to the other side of this area that led up to a path and I'd walk her 2-3 miles on the road,so I'm thinking an hour or so galloping after rabbits and a half hour or so road work.As I was walking in the field I spotted a bloody long neck sticking up,I thought to my self thats the tallest bloody sheep I ever saw.

This yoke came charging towards me full belt,I was quiet amused looking at the gait of this animal and realised it was a friggin llama.What the hell is a llama doing in this neck of the woods I thought.The dog primed itself and I could feel her tensing up on the lead,so I wrapped the lead a little bit more around my wrist,there lieth the first mistake.The fu****g llama came charging straight at me and tried to stamp on the dogs head who in turn respectfully tried to pull its fuc***g head off but missed thank Crikey.Now I had the dog real close to me as to stop it doing dammage to the llama,the llama stamped its feet again to get the dog,I pulled the dog away and I got its front foot on my shin,bloody painful I can tell you.I was carrying a walking stick in my hand and gave the charging llama a belt of it straight across the face,that worked a treat,it went berserk and attacked with even more venom.

Now at this point the flock of sheep were starting to get false courage and they were gathering around running in and out and not too far from the llamas ass,the dog was going ape,frothing at the mouth.I was walking all this time to get to the other side of the field but every time I turned my back on this c*** of an animal it came running at me again.The more I beat it with the stick the worse it got the more the dog pulled in its direction.I was frantic at this stage.Would this thing ever f*** off and let me alone....no chance.Everytime I took a few steps I'd have to turn and see where it was so's the the dog wouldnt grab it.You have to also realise when you look in their direction you are eyeball to eyeball level with them as they're a tall motherf***er up close.This b*****d was relentless in its attack,I can honestly say it hated me way more than I hated him.Well it went on and I finally dragged the bitch who was squealing and pleading with me to just let her loose for a minute,and nothing would have given me more pleasure that to let both parties settle this dispute once and for all but the end result would not have been a foregone conclusion,theyre tough bast***s,I beat the shit out of this animal but only to protect myself and the more I hit it the more it fought back.I wonder if the dog fighting fraternety ever considered matching a llama against their best game dog,would have been interesting.All this lasted maybe ten to twenty minutes but its a long time when your trying to stay alive and keep the dog from grabing the llama.Anyway hope you enjoy this.

[AKA-BRINDLE 879]

Molly they are computerised as ditch said and cant just dissapear from radar,they have to be accounted for.I was hoping someone might have a way of side stepping this as you lot on here dont miss much If you wouldnt mind,ask him if he ever heard of anyone getting around this,I've asked the farmers I know but no one has clue if it can be done.Jigsaw.

 

There's ways around everything, all you would have to do was say the dead stock was "stolen" or gone " missing" (i hear sheep go missing all the time in wales ) obviously worth a drink for the farmer but if he's getting charged £ to get rid...........everybodys happy

[jigsaw 11,863]

Snoopdog wheres that story you promised to write up?Cmon now boy dont reneige,cough it up.

[bondy 0]

great story,s them mate.

[mouse 282]

Molly they are computerised as ditch said and cant just dissapear from radar,they have to be accounted for.I was hoping someone might have a way of side stepping this as you lot on here dont miss much If you wouldnt mind,ask him if he ever heard of anyone getting around this,I've asked the farmers I know but no one has clue if it can be done.Jigsaw.

there is a way around everything.it depends who is collecting your fallen stock??the hunt or full time knacker man.remember the local hunt always need flesh so they are cheeper and more flexible.