Free meat

[jigsaw 11,863]

For many years I collected fallen beasts,young calves,the odd sheep,etc.Since the European union rules and regulations came in on farming its not possible to get such free meat any more.Does anyone still collect fallen stock .I know the local hunts have a licence to do this service still but I believe they are very restricted in this area too.

I remember once a few years ago I collected a fairly robust calf,it took 4 of us to get him in the trailer and I covered him with canvas to keep out the prying eyes.Now I live in a housing estate,23 houses in our little part.I got home and waited till dark,there were 3 of us there to wrestle the bas###d down the alley at the side of the house(which was shared with the house next door).We struggled to get him to the start of the alley,at this stage the animal was in rigomortus,stiff as a plank.Well we worked him to the point of having him twisted around the corner,the sweat was teeming from us at this point,always being an optimist I truly believed we have no problem getting him in the back of the house.The bloody thing jammed on the walls of the alleyway,his front feet were stuck in the dashing of the alley wall and his ass was jammed against the opposite wall,I couldnt budge the sh##.We pulled and pushed for roughly 10 minutes and in that time his hooves were banging against the neighbours wall.

The worst thing that could happen evolved,my neighbour who is a very old lady and living alone opened the door and wanted to see what the noise was,here I am sitting astride a small cow in the dark of night,I looked at her....she looked at me...not a word muttered,she had this look of despair on her face.She made a hasty retreat and my 2 mates burst out laughing.I went in to the house got my skinning knife,proceeded to cut through his front legs and got a saw.Removed his front legs from the knees and within 10 minutes had him out the back.The neighbour never mentioned that night God bless her,nor did I.I put a halt on my body snatching after that,I enquired as to the possibility of resuming my meat collection from my farmer friends but was told that all the animals are tagged and must all be accounted for now.It looks like the days of carcass retrieval are over.Anyone here have a way around it?

[jigsaw 11,863]

No one knows eh!

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

Could be because no one knows a way round it, mate? In uk, even finding a Knackerman to speak to ye was like getting to know a Masonic member of the S.A.S.

 

In Eire, ye'd know who the traditional Knackers are. Most people, it seems to me, won't talk to them in the first place. So hard to ask them for favours now, eh? Plus they have their lisences and thus their living to think about.

 

One possible way though - which I considered myself? Ask around for who's got any clapped out 'stock, about ready to go down. See about taking it away, still breathing. Get it on ye own land and take it from there? Not sure about the legallities, what with these ear tags and so forth. But I don't know That much about the system just yet.

 

Something to consider, perhaps?

[Guest Frank]

Best places to go to i use to find is local butchers that sluaghter their own meat.

If you can get hold of tripe, heads ect from round the back, even better.

 

This was back in the 90's though jigsaw, not sure what its like now, but, ditch, did you not recently go to your butchers to get tripe ect, from round the back?

 

Frank.

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

Yes, mate. Butcher / Slaughterman. But he reckons the local Hunt's into him for everything he gets anyway. He could sort me out a few tripes a week, but I need more than that, as I suspect does Jigsaw. And that's the rub; Getting hold of the whole deal.

 

Cattle are now computerised and it's pretty much chips with everything, mate. Government cctv in our bedrooms next

[countrymaid 2]

For many years I collected fallen beasts,young calves,the odd sheep,etc.Since the European union rules and regulations came in on farming its not possible to get such free meat any more.Does anyone still collect fallen stock .I know the local hunts have a licence to do this service still but I believe they are very restricted in this area too.

I remember once a few years ago I collected a fairly robust calf,it took 4 of us to get him in the trailer and I covered him with canvas to keep out the prying eyes.Now I live in a housing estate,23 houses in our little part.I got home and waited till dark,there were 3 of us there to wrestle the bas###d down the alley at the side of the house(which was shared with the house next door).We struggled to get him to the start of the alley,at this stage the animal was in rigomortus,stiff as a plank.Well we worked him to the point of having him twisted around the corner,the sweat was teeming from us at this point,always being an optimist I truly believed we have no problem getting him in the back of the house.The bloody thing jammed on the walls of the alleyway,his front feet were stuck in the dashing of the alley wall and his ass was jammed against the opposite wall,I couldnt budge the sh##.We pulled and pushed for roughly 10 minutes and in that time his hooves were banging against the neighbours wall.

The worst thing that could happen evolved,my neighbour who is a very old lady and living alone opened the door and wanted to see what the noise was,here I am sitting astride a small cow in the dark of night,I looked at her....she looked at me...not a word muttered,she had this look of despair on her face.She made a hasty retreat and my 2 mates burst out laughing.I went in to the house got my skinning knife,proceeded to cut through his front legs and got a saw.Removed his front legs from the knees and within 10 minutes had him out the back.The neighbour never mentioned that night God bless her,nor did I.I put a halt on my body snatching after that,I enquired as to the possibility of resuming my meat collection from my farmer friends but was told that all the animals are tagged and must all be accounted for now.It looks like the days of carcass retrieval are over.Anyone here have a way around it?

Now this has cheered me up big time!!! my sides are hurting from laughing i just wish id have been there to see the cow stuck. Hope the dogs enjoyed the meat.

[OldTrapCollector 377]

Very funny! That reminds me of some of my own nocturnal escapades :whistle:

 

OTC

[jigsaw 11,863]

Not 200 yards from me there is an abbatoir and there isnt a chance of getting a scrap of meat from there.Its gone to the stage that they're charging 10 euros for a pair of cow bellys.Before you could get bellys for nought.The demand is so that they're making hundreds from the waste products that were once looked on as rubbish,how times change.

Ds sounds like a good avenue to pursue but....and they's always a but,if I put half knackered stock on to my property they'll be looking in the feckin back kitchen window,ya see I'm a townie and I know I wont be getting any dinners ever with a cow looking through the window at the wife,shes outta there,hmmm there may be a good side to this.

Countrymaid if you think thats funny you should hear the one of the day I got battered by an old lady,or the time I got attacked by a llama,and I had witnesses there to prove it.I had a freezer full of beef for a month .CM after I cut him up I shovel the skin in the refuse bin and sat inside the window praying no one would see it on collection day.The innards went to the fox population.I'm feeding dry food now as ferreting is over and rabbits are a thing of the past for another few months,the dry nuts dont do a bit for the dogs I believe,they seem undernourished all the time on it

[snoopdog 1,256]

good read jigsaw i was pmsl .....could do with more stories like that ..as for free meat ..the only free meat i get is what i catch,...

[jigsaw 11,863]

I offer the wife free meat regulary but shes not interested,says a lot dont you think.

[snoopdog 1,256]

I offer the wife free meat regulary but shes not interested,says a lot dont you think.

perhaps she wants more than a party sausage

[jigsaw 11,863]

Could be snoopdog ,by the way thanks for the confidence building ya bas***d lol Right here goes,I'll tell this as I remember it,I was walking with a pit bull bitch a few years ago through the countryside.The place I was at had a fair few rabbits and the bitch was right keen to catch them and she spent her time galloping here there and everywhere trying to catch them.This is a great way way to get a dog fit as you'd know.Well I came to a field full of sheep so I put the bitch on the lead,I proceeded to walk through the flock to the other side of this area that led up to a path and I'd walk her 2-3 miles on the road,so I'm thinking an hour or so galloping after rabbits and a half hour or so road work.As I was walking in the field I spotted a bloody long neck sticking up,I thought to my self thats the tallest bloody sheep I ever saw.

This yoke came charging towards me full belt,I was quiet amused looking at the gait of this animal and realised it was a friggin llama.What the hell is a llama doing in this neck of the woods I thought.The dog primed itself and I could feel her tensing up on the lead,so I wrapped the lead a little bit more around my wrist,there lieth the first mistake.The fu****g llama came charging straight at me and tried to stamp on the dogs head who in turn respectfully tried to pull its fuc***g head off but missed thank Crikey.Now I had the dog real close to me as to stop it doing dammage to the llama,the llama stamped its feet again to get the dog,I pulled the dog away and I got its front foot on my shin,bloody painful I can tell you.I was carrying a walking stick in my hand and gave the charging llama a belt of it straight across the face,that worked a treat,it went berserk and attacked with even more venom.

Now at this point the flock of sheep were starting to get false courage and they were gathering around running in and out and not too far from the llamas ass,the dog was going ape,frothing at the mouth.I was walking all this time to get to the other side of the field but every time I turned my back on this c*** of an animal it came running at me again.The more I beat it with the stick the worse it got the more the dog pulled in its direction.I was frantic at this stage.Would this thing ever f*** off and let me alone....no chance.Everytime I took a few steps I'd have to turn and see where it was so's the the dog wouldnt grab it.You have to also realise when you look in their direction you are eyeball to eyeball level with them as they're a tall motherf***er up close.This b*****d was relentless in its attack,I can honestly say it hated me way more than I hated him.Well it went on and I finally dragged the bitch who was squealing and pleading with me to just let her loose for a minute,and nothing would have given me more pleasure that to let both parties settle this dispute once and for all but the end result would not have been a foregone conclusion,theyre tough bast***s,I beat the shit out of this animal but only to protect myself and the more I hit it the more it fought back.I wonder if the dog fighting fraternety ever considered matching a llama against their best game dog,would have been interesting.All this lasted maybe ten to twenty minutes but its a long time when your trying to stay alive and keep the dog from grabing the llama.Anyway hope you enjoy this.

[snoopdog 1,256]

top storey jigsaw ... i know they hate dogs in some countries they use them to protect there flocks o sheep there are bad tempered feckers ...what you have to do in a situtation like that is poke the fecker in the eyes ... ive got one for yer ill type it up tommorow ...about an alsation i met.... good craic pal... :thumbs-up:

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

F*cking hell! Remind me never to mess with one of those Stock Protection Llamas then! I have read they can give a 'yote a good kicking too!

[jigsaw 11,863]

Heres the next one and this happened 19 years ago and the reason I'm sure of this is because I was just after moving into my house.I decided to go walk abouts and check out the local country side.I went through a few miles of fields and had with me a lurcher and a terrier I bought from Ken Gould in 85.Well I came to a boreen(a small road,grass up the middle of it,you get the picture).I proceeded to walk down the roadway when a friggin cat ran full belt across the road,now my 2 dogs are partial to a little bit of cat(I was tempted to phrase that differently but though it might be a little too vulgar)and took off after the thing.It ran up a drive way and was quickly snatched up by my lurcher,which was by the way collie/greyhoundXsaluki/greyhound,which really doesnt have any relevance to the story I'm telling so I'll carry on.Now I ran up and grabbed the lurcher and had him off the cat after a bit of a struggle(a good bit),I dragged him to the road way and tied him to the gate belonging to the house that the cat entered.I ran back up the drive and at this point I noticed a frail old lady with a sweeping brush in her hands,I shouted at her that I'd remove the dog from the now quiet still cat in an instant,I turned around with my back to her to get the dog and felt a seering pain in my neck,I almost hit the deck,I turned around to recieve another belt from this lady across my shoulder with the bloody brush.I screamed at her,''WHAT THE HELL ARE YE DOING WOMAN'' to which she responded with another whach to the middle of my back from the brush.I grabbed the dog and dragged it screaming down the path and tied it to the gate,right all the dammage that could be done was done.....RIGHT?........WRONG.Me being a man of principles(I hope)I decided to go back up the path and try and reason with the old lady,now when I say old I mean old 75 -90 years old.It was hard to tell but she was old.I stood there trying to offer to bury her cat and replace it with a lovely cute kitten,her reply was....yes you guessed it a slap of the brush right into the eye except this time she connected properly and burst my eyebrow good and proper.I thought F*** this I'm out of here,I turned to get away and heres the fuc***g dogs with the gate behind them dragging it up the path.They tore the gate off of its hinges.I went down untied the dogs and made a hasty retreat back home.So much for principles.

that night I was playing darts for my local pub team and when I turned up I had a black eye,with a right good cut up over it,my back and chest were a quiet attractive shade of lavander and black and I had a lump on the back of my head the size of a golf ball.I told a mate what happened and he choked laughing and then told both teams the story.I took off my shirt that night in front of the home and away teams and they went eyerily quiet when they saw the state of me.This is all true I swear,I was the only man to be beaten to shit by a little old lady.I'm some tough nut me.