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The Recession..........


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The recession has hit everybody really hard...

 

My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

 

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't

afford batteries.

 

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

 

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

 

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls

of pennies while she danced.

 

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

 

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you

call them and ask if they meant you or them.

 

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

 

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

 

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learnt their

children’s' names.

 

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

 

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

 

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

 

The Treasure Island Casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali

Pirates.

 

And, finally....

 

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my

Savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the

Suicide Hotline.

I got a call-centre in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they

got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck

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