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It shouldn't happen to a lamper


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Funniest was ,,out lamping with a very well known member from here,, January, feckin freezing,, dog follows a hare into the next field so off he goes, over the fence,,straight into a burn,,up to his neck,!! he was icicled up to the max hahaha nearly froze tae death, had to hold the lamp to his legs all the way home !! hahahaha

 

Worst was a 3/4 cross, over stretching himself and twisting a gut,, carried the bugger 2 miles back to the landy, but the poor bugger never made it,, broke ma heart that yin like!

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Been thinking over some of the weird and wonderful things I've witnessed over the years with the dogs. Some have been funny some have been weird and some have been tragic. Like driving for 100's of

4 young lads 15 year old off ferreting,,, so first warren nets down,ferret in, all done by hand signals, , real pros these lads , red all the plumer books, so stricktly no talking.   first hour pa

I remeber lamping one night and a little shetland stalion started bitting my beddy whippet and because she was steady with stock she just stood there crying when it bit her so I being a real brain box

HAHA just minded this one annaw

 

Out with the same numpty as my last post,, digging to a terrier,, tailed the bugger and drew out a fox,,as he lifted it out,, he let go the sharp end,so it promptly bit clean through his forearm!!hahahaha,, me and a mate were rolling about with him shouting shoot it,,shoot it!!! was pissing mesell that much and he jumped like f**k so I acctually missed the f****r from 3 feet!! it went mental, and bit harder,, by the time I prised it off(wouldn`t let me try shooting it agin) the tears were streeming down my face,, he was in agony ,,so off for a tetnus,, funniest thing I`ve seen in years!! :laugh:

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me and my mate doing a job for a lady years ago cutting her garden was about 13 she told us she had foxes under her shed ect ..................

she poped out i ran around home got my lurcher and terrier my terrier bolted the fox he jumped over the fence my lurcher followed killled him in front of the next door neighbours lady screaming .................................. :laugh: lets just say we never got payed........ :whistling:

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saw someone piss on a leccy fence, hit the ground like a sack of shit!! lol, another lad was trying to neck a bunny whilst trying to hold the lamp under his arm, the bunny bit him on the nuts, funny watching the lamp going like feck, been hit in the shin by a madman whilst out digging, done my knee getting chased when i run over a burn but hit the other side, funny watching someone dig like feck when they bury their wallet....... :laugh:

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I remeber lamping one night and a little shetland stalion started bitting my beddy whippet and because she was steady with stock she just stood there crying when it bit her so I being a real brain box slapped the shetlands arse now that would of been fine had I not been stood behind the f****r it booted me right in the knackers,droped me like a sack of shit and then started to bite me when i was on the floor i let go of the lead and the dog f****d off and my mate stood there not more than 10 ft away laughing his cock off :rofl: . 19st 6ft 2 and got bested by a midget horse real crack. :wallbash: :wallbash:

this one made me laugh! Fair play

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I used to dig and lamp with a fella who seemed to attract mishaps like moths to a light,got tangled in an electric fence and said he had to get home to his wife as he had the best hardon he'd had for years..jumped over a wall and ended up to his neck in a slurry pit,lamped some local playing fields and while the dog was running a fox a car shot through the gate closely followed by the filth :icon_eek: He wasn't too keen on the sharp end of the quarry either and on a dig in an awkward spot in a patch of blackthorn i had the terrier in one hand and the fox in the other he was a bit slow :huh: helping me out, So ended up on my back with a pissed off fox doing the wall of death round the branches resulting in me with a fox clamped to my fingers :cry:

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30 odd years ago I bought a ready made dog , the fella ( who must have seen me coming ) told me it was a killing machine , kept his family fed etc , and it certainly looked the part , muscels on muscels and an intense look about it that just screamed killer . Gathered all my mates together to witness what my new dog could do , even took a couple of bookings for matings just on the strength of my boasting ,big night came ,slipped dog on bunny dog had no problem getting to the rabbit , held it with one paw got comfortable and then humped a screaming rabbit for 5 mins . two of the lads with me actually cried laughing.

The 45 min walk home with 4 lads abusing and laughing at you , dragging a dog whos big red knob was still nearly touching the floor ,seemed like the longest 45 min of my life.

Tears running down my cheeks reading this :laugh: :laugh: :clapper:

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Was lamping a golf course, many years ago and spotted 2 fellas trying to break in to one of the buildings.

We lit them right up and they must have thought it was Plod so off they ran, one chap ran straight into the canal and had to swim across to escape. :laugh:

 

Cheers, D.

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30 odd years ago I bought a ready made dog , the fella ( who must have seen me coming ) told me it was a killing machine , kept his family fed etc , and it certainly looked the part , muscels on muscels and an intense look about it that just screamed killer . Gathered all my mates together to witness what my new dog could do , even took a couple of bookings for matings just on the strength of my boasting ,big night came ,slipped dog on bunny dog had no problem getting to the rabbit , held it with one paw got comfortable and then humped a screaming rabbit for 5 mins . two of the lads with me actually cried laughing.

The 45 min walk home with 4 lads abusing and laughing at you , dragging a dog whos big red knob was still nearly touching the floor ,seemed like the longest 45 min of my life.

Tears running down my cheeks reading this :laugh: :laugh: :clapper:

 

: :clapper: :clapper: Me too!!!

 

In fact this thread has been a brill read ... totally cheered me up :D

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