Ok here goes - Hunting Poem

[IanB 0]

Mad woman :11: :11:

[Guest CharlieC]

And this is one my mates used to say to me at school

 

Little Miss muffett

sat on her tuffet

Drinking her bottle of buck (fast)

Along came a spider

with a bottle of cider

and said "do you fancy a f**k"

Why yes she replied

But Im a bit pie-eyed

Well said the spider

Its looks like Im in Luck :11: :11:

[Guest CharlieC]

ahhh theres Geordie I see you reading this :11:

 

I knew Id missed someone out :11:

 

There once was a fella called Geordie

His lass invited the neighbours for an orgie

Mr Jones from next door

got his wife on the floor

and the rest jumped in to be bawdy :11:

[Guest Keeps]

ahhh theres Geordie I see you reading this  :11:

 

I knew Id missed someone out  :11:

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

You missed one out charlie

 

There once was a girl called Charlie

Who liked rolling around in the barley

Till one day she got stuck

In a huge pile of muck

And now looks decidedly surly :11:

[Guest CharlieC]

:11: :11:

[tiny tim 22]

charlie c you are a star poem writer still laughing now..keep them coming<or should i rephrase that>

[spade 224]

There was an old man called John

Who slept with a woman called Tom

He caught a disease

That made him sneeze

Now he wishes he'd worn a condom.

[IanB 0]

:11:

[maty j 6]

the first poem made me go all shivery. but thse others :11: :11: :11: more more more.

[Guest CharlieC]

Ok Im doing requests from now on, who do use want to be the subject of my next limerick ? :11:

[Guest CharlieC]

:11: :11:

 

there once was a fella called peter the beater

He put his smelly socks on the bedroom heater

the smell started to pong

all the way to Hong Kong

and the gas in them made him run like a cheetah!

 

God that was awful wasnt it? :11: :11: :11: :11:

[Guest Mac]

this is shite but, There once was a woman called charlie

                          who got shagged in the barley.

                            your mans name was 'mac'

                                 he cumed on her back

                                     than licked her crack.

that was crap    :whistle:  :11:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

:11: :11: :11: :11: :11: :11: thats so shite it made me laugh paddy!! :11: :11:

[Jordan 1]

Brilliant poems charlie how about we do a competition who can come up with the best poem have afew categories so funny serious etc.

[Guest Mac]

Ok  :11: This is a little hobby of mine  I make these ones off the top of my head so they really will be shite  :11:

 

There once was a guy called Sir Stabs,

He liked to have sex in mini cabs

One day he caught the bus

To see what was all the fuss

And came back with a dose of the crabs  :11:

 

There once was an angry young man called Shaggy

He lived on a mountain that was Craggy

He had a big nose

And liked to wear womens clothes

And its rumoured his tits were quite saggy  :11:

 

There was a guy called Foxgun Tom

He attracted the ladies like a real sex bomb

Mothers and daughters

Like lambs to the slaughter

Tom had them all, sub and dom  :11:

 

There once was a lad called Paddy

He thought that he was the "daddy"

He wanked for hours a night

And his chat ups were shite

But he knew how to fire his waddy  :11:

 

There once was a guy called Mac

He woke up with a pain in his sac

"Doctor help me Im sick!"

"Yes I know you Prick"

"Go home and take twenty prozac"  :11:

 

There once was a chap called Ian

His kilt blew over his e'en

He couldnae see

to aim his pee

And ended up falling over when weeing  :11:

 

shall I carry on or stop now before I get carried away?  :11:  :11:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

:11: :11: :11: :11:

[Guest fast but dim]

their was i guy from todmorden who was a twat

and then he spat

at another twat

called pat

the end