Anger management

[mistwalker 0]

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten

to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying

"Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with

Robyn Carter?"

 

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in

number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two

digits.

 

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an arsehole!"

and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'arsehole' next to

it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was

paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're

an arsehole!" It always cheered me up.

 

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'arsehole'

calling would have to stop.

 

So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the

Telstra. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID

Program?"

 

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.

 

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an

arsehole!"

 

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had

patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting

for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign

in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

 

A couple of days later, right after calling the first arsehole ( I had

his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW

arsehole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

 

 

"Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.

 

"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, and

the car's parked right out in front."

 

"What's your name?" I asked.

 

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

 

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

 

"I'm home every evening after five."

 

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"Don, you're an arsehole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my

speed dial, too.

 

Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call. Then I came up

with an idea. I called Arsehole #1.

 

"Hello."

 

"You're an arsehole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

 

"Are you still there?" he asked.

 

"Yeah," I said.

 

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

 

"Make me," I said.

 

"Who are you?" he asked.

 

"My name is Don Hansen."

 

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

 

"Arsehole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my

black Beamer parked in front."

 

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start

saying your prayers."

 

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, arsehole," and hung up.

 

Then I called Arsehole #2. "Hello?" he said.

 

"Hello, arsehole," I said.

 

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

 

"You'll what?" I said.

 

"I'll kick your arse," he exclaimed.

 

I answered, "Well, arsehole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right

now."

 

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived

at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to

kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war

going down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.

 

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just

in time to watch two arseholes beating the crap out of each other in

front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

 

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works

[Guest CharlieC]

:11: :11: :11: :11:

[buckshot 53]

:11: :11:

[spade 224]

:11: :11: :11:

 

Reckon i know a few arseholes to try that on.

[joe sharpe 1]

:11: : :11: nice 1 mate :11: :11:

[owdbum 0]

:11: :11:

 

owdbum

[pockets 0]

Very good

[Guest gaspode]

:11: :11: :11: :11: misty u have faaaar too much time on your hands -keep em coming

[Jaggsy 25]

Just read this, absolutely brilliant!!

[Guest Pat]

:11: lmao

[runsatnite 7]

sheer class !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :11: :11: :11:

[Guest erb]

:11: :11: :11: :11: :11: :11: Just [bANNED TEXT] i needed at the end of a shit day :11: :11: nice one