christian71 3,187 Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 littlejohnny is outside playing with his friend tom he got up and went into his house he said to his dad "whats it called when two people share the same room and one is on top of the other" after some thought his dad replied "its called sexual intercourse son" and with that johnny went out again. a few minutes later he came back in and said "its not called sexual intercourse at all its bunkbeds and toms mum would like a word with you". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sugartits 1 Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Amanda-N-Chase Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rob190364 2,594 Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 I was always in bother as a kid, i used to hate the feeling of my Dads belt buckle smacking me on the arse.... Especially while he was still wearing it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lee micheal kennels 12 Posted June 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 I was always in bother as a kid, i used to hate the feeling of my Dads belt buckle smacking me on the arse.... Especially while he was still wearing it :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
judge2010 196 Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 Has started a new job, Going good so far, Working as a comedian in an old folks home, I tell them jokes, They don't understand me,They still piss themselves Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lee micheal kennels 12 Posted June 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 Has started a new job, Going good so far, Working as a comedian in an old folks home, I tell them jokes, They don't understand me,They still piss themselves :notworthy: like it lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MAIN MAN 277 Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 ENGLAND! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Seeker 3,048 Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 Last night four Sheffield United players were outside my bedroom window playing football with a hedge hog, I was so disgusted I was just about to phone the RSPCA.......then the hedge hog went 1-0 up..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Seeker 3,048 Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Went round to a mates house last night to see their new born baby, his wife asked me if I'd like to have a go at winding it, I thought it was a bit harsh so I gave it a dead leg instead My f*****g neighbour knocked at my door at 2.30 this morning. Can you believe that!? 2.30am! Luckily for him I was still up playing my guitar full volume thru a Marshall stack at the time. Found a DVD entitled "Bald and barely legal" chuffed with my find I put the disc in the player and sat there ready to bash one out, imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be a Department of Transport video about tyre tread depths Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lee micheal kennels 12 Posted June 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Went round to a mates house last night to see their new born baby, his wife asked me if I'd like to have a go at winding it, I thought it was a bit harsh so I gave it a dead leg instead My f*****g neighbour knocked at my door at 2.30 this morning. Can you believe that!? 2.30am! Luckily for him I was still up playing my guitar full volume thru a Marshall stack at the time. Found a DVD entitled "Bald and barely legal" chuffed with my find I put the disc in the player and sat there ready to bash one out, imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be a Department of Transport video about tyre tread depths :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Baghdadnights 150 Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Imagine the scene there I was stegosaurus puppet on my left hand tyrannosaurus on my right box of tissues at the ready put the DVD on only to find it was WALKING with dinosaurs Quote Link to post Share on other sites
diggory 130 Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Imagine the scene there I was stegosaurus puppet on my left hand tyrannosaurus on my right box of tissues at the ready put the DVD on only to find it was WALKING with dinosaurs Quote Link to post Share on other sites
judge2010 196 Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Last night four Sheffield United players were outside my bedroom window playing football with a hedge hog, I was so disgusted I was just about to phone the RSPCA.......then the hedge hog went 1-0 up..... We're all wednesday aren't we? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Judge was telling TB about his first Parachute jump....."When i got to the door i couldn't do it!"....The 6ft 7" marine instructor unzipped his fly and dropped out his 14" dong and said "If your not going to jump then youre going to get this baby rammed right up your f*****g arse!!!" TB says "Did you jump?"...... Judge says "A bit, when it first went in"......... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
judge2010 196 Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 (edited) Judge was telling TB about his first Parachute jump....."When i got to the door i couldn't do it!"....The 6ft 7" marine instructor unzipped his fly and dropped out his 14" dong and said "If your not going to jump then youre going to get this baby rammed right up your f*****g arse!!!" TB says "Did you jump?"...... Judge says "A bit, when it first went in"......... TWAT! it was nice though. Edited June 18, 2011 by judge2010 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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