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marriage is like a deck of cards in the beginning all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond by the end you wish you had a feckin club and spade .

WOMENS LONELY HEARTS ADS What they really mean:   ADVENTUROUS = Slut ATHLETIC = No tits 30 SOMETHING = 41 FUN = Annoying WILD = Gets pissed easily BEAUTIFUL EYES = Face like a robber's dog SE

Man and woman married for 30 years,the man said when they got married: right love,il do this whole marriage thing but you dont go into my safe,its private. Ok,agreed the woman. This particular da

Guest alcapone

Warning!!! There has been a fight in a biscuit tin. A lad called Rocky,hit a Penguin over the head with a Club,tied him to a Wagon Wheel with a Blue Ribbon and made his Breakaway in a Taxi. Police say Rocky was last seen just After Eight by a Viscount from Maryland,Hobnobbing with a Ginger Nut and an accomplice,only known to police as RichT. Unfortunately they dont have a crumb of evidence,so the Jammie Dodger might get away with it!!

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When I sat my 12 year old daughter down and asked her if she knew how she had got pregnant, she said that she doesn't really know where babies come from and that she thinks it might've been from that time she sat next to her classmate Jonathan on the school bus.

 

Looks like I might just get away with it.

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