just jack 998 Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 why have wimmin got legs? you seen the mess slugs make. wimmin????????????????????????????????????????????? real wimmin????? fork handles 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 3 white south africans and black are sitting in jail in the 80s. so they get talking.first white guy says to the other one. "what you in for"? oh he says i got pissed out my head and beat my black neighbours to death with a tyre iron,and then burnt thier shack down. "what sentence did you get and what did the judge say,"says the first white guy. i got 2days,and he said id be out in a 8hours if i behaved.what did you do? "oh i went a bit far said the first guy.i set my dogs on these black guys and they tore them to death,then i went and shot 4more blacks on way home" f*****g hell mate he says,what sentence you get? "oh i got a week,and but the judge says id be out in a few days if i behave" turning to the black in sat in the corner,"what you in for kaffir" riding my bike without lights he says. what did you get and what did the judge say they ask i got 20years he says,and that judge said he would have double that if had been at night. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Stanleigh 135 Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 Did you hear the one about the fella who went to tescos , and got twatted by two wobblies . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 Did you hear the one about the fella who went to tescos , and got twatted by two wobblies . :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,484 Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 Stanleigh' timestamp='1310772089' post='2152246'] Did you hear the one about the fella who went to tescos , and got twatted by two wobblies . Oh the shame Quote Link to post Share on other sites
readie 184 Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 Husband asks her wife "what would you most like to do with my body" the wife replies "identify it" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mick1212 389 Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 why do essex girls were knickers? To keep there ankles warm Quote Link to post Share on other sites
barry123 112 Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 just split up with my cross eyed girlfriend ,swear the tramp was seeing someone else Quote Link to post Share on other sites
boyo 1,398 Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 just tel my wife from hospital to tell her ive had my finger off she said what the hole one i told her no the one next to it . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lee micheal kennels 12 Posted July 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 3 white south africans and black are sitting in jail in the 80s. so they get talking.first white guy says to the other one. "what you in for"? oh he says i got pissed out my head and beat my black neighbours to death with a tyre iron,and then burnt thier shack down. "what sentence did you get and what did the judge say,"says the first white guy. i got 2days,and he said id be out in a 8hours if i behaved.what did you do? "oh i went a bit far said the first guy.i set my dogs on these black guys and they tore them to death,then i went and shot 4more blacks on way home" f*****g hell mate he says,what sentence you get? "oh i got a week,and but the judge says id be out in a few days if i behave" turning to the black in sat in the corner,"what you in for kaffir" riding my bike without lights he says. what did you get and what did the judge say they ask i got 20years he says,and that judge said he would have double that if had been at night. :laugh: :laugh: top stuff :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
barry123 112 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 getting a girl to have sex with me is alot like getting ketchup outta the bottle ,easier with a knife Quote Link to post Share on other sites
barry123 112 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 i thought i heard my lovely blonde neighbour shagging last night ,there was lots of moaning ,groaning,banging on the wall ,it turned out her elderly mother had fallen out of bed and was trying to get my attention with her walking stick ................... i feel really guilty about that wank now ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
"Earth!" 503 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 why have wimmin got legs? you seen the mess slugs make. wimmin????????????????????????????????????????????? be gentle, welsh hound2 is special, he asks his mrs to check the spellings every time he texts me and theres always still a mistake think he shops at tescos, the spanner. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bouncer 51 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Did you hear the one about the fella who went to tescos , and got twatted by two wobblies . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
torchey 1,328 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Prof of maths sends his wife a text"Dear wife ,your 54 years old ,you can no longer satisfy my needs, so when you get this i will be in a hotel with my 18yr old assistant,i,m sorry i will be home late." Wife sends reply "Dear husband your also 54 and by the time you get this i,ll also be in a hotel with my 18yr old toyboy,your a mathematician so you will know that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 into 18 ,so don,t wait up floppy knob"!!!! My new girlfriend said she wanted something nine inches,hard and full of spunk....so i give her a sock from under my bed... Bloke goes to buy a talking dog,he gets there,dog says"alright mate?" guy says "f*****g hell thats impressive". dog says "i,ve won crufts 5 times, been on t.v,in films,sniffed out explosives in iraq and run 8 marathons" guy says to the owner "he,s great why are you selling him then?" owner says "because he is a lying c**t..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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