rob190364 2,594 Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 My wife has just told me she,s going to divorce me because i,m too kinky and perverted!!!I was so shocked i almost spat her piss out!!!! ABSOLUTELY CLASS!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flinn 47 Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 Why did the feminist cross the road ?? To suck my f****n dick !! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
boyo 1,398 Posted July 13, 2011 Report Share Posted July 13, 2011 the beckhams new baby is called harper seven the last time i heard that was when a man with a hare lip told me the time . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
boyo 1,398 Posted July 13, 2011 Report Share Posted July 13, 2011 cakes at azda 29 p thats azda price kids toys 99p thats fisher price shag anyone for fame and fortune thats katie price . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
secretagentmole 1,701 Posted July 13, 2011 Report Share Posted July 13, 2011 In the middle of the fens there is a pub called The Crafty Fox at Pickle Fen. Over the bar is a brush from what must have been the biggest dog fox since Basil Brush. I was drinking there one night, when the previous owner of the brush wandered through the door without opening it. The barman had just rung the bell for last orders and the ghostly fox jumped onto the bar stool. "I want it back!" He said. "What?" Said the barman. "My brush, my rudder, my rear!" Cried the fox. "Sorry sir we don't retail spirits after eleven o'clock..." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benji benji 60 Posted July 13, 2011 Report Share Posted July 13, 2011 whats blue and fucks old ladies...........................pnemonia Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted July 13, 2011 Report Share Posted July 13, 2011 maggie thatcher is standing on the balcony at buckingham palace during the royal wedding. she turns to philip and says, "you know if you throw a five pound note of the balcony,you will make one person happy" 2mins later she said. "if you throw 5 ten pound notes over the balcony,you will 5 people happy" phillip turns to her and says. "if you throw your f*****g self off the balcony.you will make every c**t happy" 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted July 13, 2011 Report Share Posted July 13, 2011 maggie thatcher is standing on the balcony at buckingham palace during the royal wedding. she turns to philip and says, "you know if you throw a five pound note of the balcony,you will make one person happy" 2mins later she said. "if you throw 5 ten pound notes over the balcony,you will 5 people happy" phillip turns to her and says. "if you throw your f*****g self off the balcony.you will make every c**t happy" 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mangy1983 51 Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 One of my mates, he was a class feller and witty as h3ll He was once in a pub drinking his sorrows cos his footy team had just lost. After a while the he asked for another drink to which the barmaid told him that she was not going to serve him as she thought he had had enough. To which he replied "no l haven't". The barmaid asked him how he could determine that to which he replied to her, "Because your still ugly" I remember him telling me that story and when l asked him what after he said he was barred of course and had never been back since Quote Link to post Share on other sites
welshhound2 20 Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 why have wimmin got legs? you seen the mess slugs make. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cueball 12 Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 Heard about the two queer ghosts? They tried to put d willies up each other... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mackay 3,328 Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 I was standing behind an elderly lady at the cash machine the other night, she turned and asked If I could check her balance, so I pushed her and she fell over. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lee micheal kennels 12 Posted July 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 One of my mates, he was a class feller and witty as h3ll He was once in a pub drinking his sorrows cos his footy team had just lost. After a while the he asked for another drink to which the barmaid told him that she was not going to serve him as she thought he had had enough. To which he replied "no l haven't". The barmaid asked him how he could determine that to which he replied to her, "Because your still ugly" I remember him telling me that story and when l asked him what after he said he was barred of course and had never been back since i like it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattyg 1,862 Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 got stopped in boots yesterday by a lady doing a survey. "whats your favourite grooming products" she says. "facebook,sweets and puppies" i replied. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rob190364 2,594 Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 why have wimmin got legs? you seen the mess slugs make. wimmin????????????????????????????????????????????? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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