trappa 518 Posted April 22, 2011 Report Share Posted April 22, 2011 Not so much a cock-up but . . . . living in a small town i always got my petrol from the local petrol station whos pumps are about 40 years old and they bang, rattle and shake every time they get used so this one time we were off up to Scotland for a break and we pulled in at a fancy brand new supermarket petrol station. So i starts to put petrol in but its all as quiet as a mouse and i didnt think it was putting any fuel in so like a numpty i pulled the petrol gun out, looks down the hole it comes out of and pulled the trigger!!! I got drenched in petrol!!! It was in my eyes, my clothes were soaking and all our lass did was pee herself laughing calling me a thick tw*t. Before i knew it the first aider was out washing my eyes out etc. Just glad i wasnt smoking or i wouldnt be here now!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
king squirrel 53 Posted April 22, 2011 Report Share Posted April 22, 2011 kneeling down when ferriting and turned around caught my head on the low strand of electric fencing i at last saw the light my mum was ever so proud and went to a terrier show after borrowing a tent off a mate got dropped off at the show went to put the tent up it was like looking up at the stars from inside it had little holes in it everywhere rung my mate as soon as he answered i knew he was pissing himself laughing luckily some good lads from sunderland lent us a little tent all turned out good had a good night with them lads couldnt even remember getting in the tent the next morning good craic that was atb biza Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ratreeper 441 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 22, 2011 Electric fences have made me a look a fool a few times. I was carrying all my gear and stepped half way over a fence I was sure was off, obviously it wasn't and I got 3 jolts straight to the bollocks before I managed to move. Didn't drop anything though! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smithie 2,443 Posted April 22, 2011 Report Share Posted April 22, 2011 my mate was once cutting a kurb stone with a sthil saw and gave himself a shock on the end of his pecker ( from spark plug). obviousley he flinched and he left him self a 1inch scar on his left knee when he caught the blade numb nuts Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cold Ethyl 63 Posted April 23, 2011 Report Share Posted April 23, 2011 A policewomen checking my air pistol wasnt loaded but looking down the barrel and firing it had me in shock once I just thank f**k it wasnt loaded she was waving it about like a right daft cow.Tried pointing out to her this is really f*****g silly and she told me im trained with firearms not f*****g well enough ffs Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted April 23, 2011 Report Share Posted April 23, 2011 A policewomen checking my air pistol wasnt loaded but looking down the barrel and firing it had me in shock once I just thank f**k it wasnt loaded she was waving it about like a right daft cow.Tried pointing out to her this is really f*****g silly and she told me im trained with firearms not f*****g well enough ffs I would have thought Billy would have been your biggest cock up cold ethyl Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tb25 4,627 Posted April 23, 2011 Report Share Posted April 23, 2011 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cold Ethyl 63 Posted April 23, 2011 Report Share Posted April 23, 2011 A policewomen checking my air pistol wasnt loaded but looking down the barrel and firing it had me in shock once I just thank f**k it wasnt loaded she was waving it about like a right daft cow.Tried pointing out to her this is really f*****g silly and she told me im trained with firearms not f*****g well enough ffs I would have thought Billy would have been your biggest cock up cold ethyl Never thought of that but yeah i he was not so much of a cok up as just a cock Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted April 23, 2011 Report Share Posted April 23, 2011 A policewomen checking my air pistol wasnt loaded but looking down the barrel and firing it had me in shock once I just thank f**k it wasnt loaded she was waving it about like a right daft cow.Tried pointing out to her this is really f*****g silly and she told me im trained with firearms not f*****g well enough ffs I would have thought Billy would have been your biggest cock up cold ethyl Never thought of that but yeah i he was not so much of a cok up as just a cock That was one of my favourite threads cold ethyl, classic Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted April 23, 2011 Report Share Posted April 23, 2011 Not so much a cock-up but . . . . living in a small town i always got my petrol from the local petrol station whos pumps are about 40 years old and they bang, rattle and shake every time they get used so this one time we were off up to Scotland for a break and we pulled in at a fancy brand new supermarket petrol station. So i starts to put petrol in but its all as quiet as a mouse and i didnt think it was putting any fuel in so like a numpty i pulled the petrol gun out, looks down the hole it comes out of and pulled the trigger!!! I got drenched in petrol!!! It was in my eyes, my clothes were soaking and all our lass did was pee herself laughing calling me a thick tw*t. Before i knew it the first aider was out washing my eyes out etc. Just glad i wasnt smoking or i wouldnt be here now!!! I bet you were squeaky clean after that nice solvent bath though.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted April 23, 2011 Report Share Posted April 23, 2011 Not so much a cock-up but . . . . living in a small town i always got my petrol from the local petrol station whos pumps are about 40 years old and they bang, rattle and shake every time they get used so this one time we were off up to Scotland for a break and we pulled in at a fancy brand new supermarket petrol station. So i starts to put petrol in but its all as quiet as a mouse and i didnt think it was putting any fuel in so like a numpty i pulled the petrol gun out, looks down the hole it comes out of and pulled the trigger!!! I got drenched in petrol!!! It was in my eyes, my clothes were soaking and all our lass did was pee herself laughing calling me a thick tw*t. Before i knew it the first aider was out washing my eyes out etc. Just glad i wasnt smoking or i wouldnt be here now!!! I bet you were squeaky clean after that nice solvent bath though.. See when I read it, duelling banjos were playing in my head Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cold Ethyl 63 Posted April 23, 2011 Report Share Posted April 23, 2011 A policewomen checking my air pistol wasnt loaded but looking down the barrel and firing it had me in shock once I just thank f**k it wasnt loaded she was waving it about like a right daft cow.Tried pointing out to her this is really f*****g silly and she told me im trained with firearms not f*****g well enough ffs I would have thought Billy would have been your biggest cock up cold ethyl Never thought of that but yeah i he was not so much of a cok up as just a cock Some of my mates are still giggling about it lol.Typical of him start a fight then run away when someone answers him back That was one of my favourite threads cold ethyl, classic Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferretess 230 Posted April 23, 2011 Report Share Posted April 23, 2011 Cocked up far too many times & too badly to mention to all and sundry on a public forum... You could say that Malt I'm with you on that one Malt too many times and probably an awfully lot more An Johnny boy thats just so wrong Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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