When have you cocked up?

[Tomm Parr 30]

myself, i cocked up big time only last weekend - i was messing around at a mate's stag do (paintballing) acting like James Bond whilst we were being given spoken to by the instructor.... I shot myself on the other hand, ripping the skin off and dripped blood all over the box of paintballs and the visors. I cried aloud like a big girl but at least i did not weep like one, thank goodness. The stag and the rest of the lads said I'd probably have become a running target, if i had shed a tear. I felt like a right div but ho hum

[gnasher16 30,121]

Too many to list but one that springs to mind was back as a youngster when the violent genes were first coming into play ...a lad pulled out a stanley knife and started waving it about saying he was going to do this and that,soppy nuts me did the rambo bit and walked towards him giving it the " come on then stick it in me " carry on .....took my eye off him for a tiny split second only to look up and see him legging it away and claret literally pumping out of my inner right forearm,i just stood their with my mouth open like a complete dick,ended up in Whipps Cross Hospital with a blood transfusion and a 4 inch scar im still sitting looking at now

Edited April 21, 2011 by gnasher16

[bell 3,602]

Drove 7 hours upto the North of Scotland, way past Ullapool, with a mate of mine. Was going to be a week of fishing and messing about. We jumps out of the car and it was "Right where's the tent"

[TOMO 26,211]

Drove 7 hours upto the North of Scotland, way past Ullapool, with a mate of mine. Was going to be a week of fishing and messing about. We jumps out of the car and it was "Right where's the tent"

 

briliant,

[shushyjukal 41]

A few weeks ago I decided to shin up a roof without a cat ladder to do some pointing of ridge tiles. I just got to the top and it pissed down. I only had a vest on and I was soaked. Couldn't get back down as the tiles were slate and Like a sheet of glass when wet. I was stuck on the roof for around an hour and half like a right tit until they dried off and a managed to get down.

 

What a cowboy.

[Lab 10,979]

Well mine generally mean that I injure myself somehow and near kill myself. My closest 1 was about 10 years ago the rearing field was in full swing and I was busy early one morning going round the field checking the birds when I got to a shed and my granddad f*****g sheep had knocked over a gas bottle. Well my immediate thought was that the gas heater will have went out and the birds would be dead, so I quickly set up the bottle and went inside the shed, got my lighter out and.............BOOM!!!!!!! I jumped out the shed, whipped the top of and lucky there was a barrel of water very close and I dived in it!! Got away with that with burns to my face and hands just which luckily never left a mark. Unfortunately a handful of birds were cremated and the windows were blown out. I can laugh now..... Lol

[judge2010 196]

Well mine generally mean that I injure myself somehow and near kill myself. My closest 1 was about 10 years ago the rearing field was in full swing and I was busy early one morning going round the field checking the birds when I got to a shed and my granddad f*****g sheep had knocked over a gas bottle. Well my immediate thought was that the gas heater will have went out and the birds would be dead, so I quickly set up the bottle and went inside the shed, got my lighter out and.............BOOM!!!!!!! I jumped out the shed, whipped the top of and lucky there was a barrel of water very close and I dived in it!! Got away with that with burns to my face and hands just which luckily never left a mark. Unfortunately a handful of birds were cremated and the windows were blown out. I can laugh now..... Lol

and this is how lab looks now:

 

http://cms.mumbaimirror.com/portalfiles/1/4/201010/Image/211010/14-03.jpg

 

[skinner 348]

i do alot when i see a beaver

[Malt 379]

2 miles out to sea, everybody's setting up their rods. Says to my brother, "Where's our tackle box bro?"

 

My brother looks at me with a look of horror on his face: "Thought you took it mate..."

 

My last words to my brother as we got out the car to get on the boat: "Make sure you don't forget that bag of Tesco's custard doughnuts..."

[jonesy 111]

Was on the back of the truck in the scrapyard one day taking somw taps off a cast bath with a melhammer,missed the bath and whacked my shin,wanted to cry it was that bad,looked up and the lad on the crane was watching me so i put on a brave face,weighed off then went outside and checked my leg wasnt in two,the lad on the crane must have been pissing himself laughing.

[shushyjukal 41]

Done that myself jonesy, also at the weigh in i went to pull a load of beading off that got stuck on the back of the wagon without gloves, nearly lost my fingers.

[SNAP SHOT 194]

cocked up a few times in the last few years, but one incident i remember was myself and a mate heading a few hours drive in early morning to go stalking,

 

landed and he turned and said "XXOOOIIUU" ME i've left the bolt in the cabinet.... lol the next time he remembered the bolt but forgot the rounds...!!!!!

 

this is true, and all i could do was laugh my head off..

["Earth!" 503]

Well mine generally mean that I injure myself somehow and near kill myself. My closest 1 was about 10 years ago the rearing field was in full swing and I was busy early one morning going round the field checking the birds when I got to a shed and my granddad f*****g sheep had knocked over a gas bottle. Well my immediate thought was that the gas heater will have went out and the birds would be dead, so I quickly set up the bottle and went inside the shed, got my lighter out and.............BOOM!!!!!!! I jumped out the shed, whipped the top of and lucky there was a barrel of water very close and I dived in it!! Got away with that with burns to my face and hands just which luckily never left a mark. Unfortunately a handful of birds were cremated and the windows were blown out. I can laugh now..... Lol

and this is how lab looks now:

 

http://cms.mumbaimirror.com/portalfiles/1/4/201010/Image/211010/14-03.jpg

 

 

bloody hell, micheal jackson lives on!!!

[nod 285]

Well mine generally mean that I injure myself somehow and near kill myself. My closest 1 was about 10 years ago the rearing field was in full swing and I was busy early one morning going round the field checking the birds when I got to a shed and my granddad f*****g sheep had knocked over a gas bottle. Well my immediate thought was that the gas heater will have went out and the birds would be dead, so I quickly set up the bottle and went inside the shed, got my lighter out and.............BOOM!!!!!!! I jumped out the shed, whipped the top of and lucky there was a barrel of water very close and I dived in it!! Got away with that with burns to my face and hands just which luckily never left a mark. Unfortunately a handful of birds were cremated and the windows were blown out. I can laugh now..... Lol

 

mine aint too far from this, i was leaning in the shed to light the broodersand pulled the heater to me, lit ok, so went to the next, turned round and the shed was on fire, quickly turned the gas off, when the smoke had all gone there were 400 2 week old patridges all crisp and dry, i had pulled the pipe too far off the heater and cooked them, £1200 in 3 seconds

[dytkos 17,800]

Me and a couple of matesdrove 120 miles for the morning goose flight on the Solway. Dickhead me left my wellies on the step outside the house. Doh!

Had to pay an exhorbitant 11 quid (1982) for a shit pair from the only shoe shop around so I could catch the evening flight!

Cheers, D.