Guild of British Mole Catchers

[moxy 617]

I know this is an old thread but without stating the obvious. Wouldn't it be easier to go catch a few moles and look at them? Prod. Poke. Measure and cut the buggers up? To gain the answers to the questions.

Or is it that you can't catch a mole without accreditation from the golden guild?

 

Level 2!!!

 

What for?

[Phil Lloyd 10,738]

I reached Level Two Moxy, (admittedly with a little help from my friends)

 

Personally,...I found many of the questions, far too hard,...I just didn't know the answers

[LuckOrJudgement 437]

I got a call the other day. Lady gives me the address. She sounds kind of well-designed, well-heeled, and ina lazy moment, I Google's the place on Google maps. I see a big pad, a lawn with stripes so well defined they're visible from space.

I slink down there as dawn is breaking. Just 2 mole hills and one of them sonic repeller things. I don't want to trouble the dame by knocking - I just get my gear off the van, couple of prods with the dibber and in with the traps.

As I'm setting where the grass ends in a stand of lilacs, I hear footsteps behind me. It's a handy looking fellow in a silk dressing gown. He's carrying a big stick, and it ain't the type that goes in the end of a lollipop.

'Can I ask who you are, and what the hell you think you're up to?' says he.

I stand up, fingering my trowel awkwardly. 'I had a call from Mrs xxxxxxxx. She asked me to catch some moles.'

'I'm sure she did,' replies the fellow. 'Only thing is, you're in the wrong f***ing garden. Mrs xxxxxxxx lives next door.'

Moral of the story, always knock when before starting a new job, and never rely on the accuracy of Google maps.

After an earnest conversation, the chap let me catch his mole and we parted on first name terms. He even paid me!

[moxy 617]

I reached Level Two Moxy, (admittedly with a little help from my friends)

 

Personally,...I found many of the questions, far too hard,...I just didn't know the answers

Was it a personal challenge Phil? Or did you think it would bring more work in? Has it brought more work in?

Do folk ring you over the next man because your a member of the golden circle. Spuriously certified a "master".

Just curious. In fairness I've not seen the questions and if I did I more than likely wouldn't have a clue.

 

Atb.

[Phil Lloyd 10,738]

 

 

Was it a personal challenge Phil? Or did you think it would bring more work in? Has it brought more work in?

Do folk ring you over the next man because your a member of the golden circle. Spuriously certified a "master".

Just curious. In fairness I've not seen the questions and if I did I more than likely wouldn't have a clue.

 

Atb.

 

 

Hi there...

 

No, I didn't join those guys to get more work.,..I've more than enough trapping to keep me well busy

 

I just thought, that as a mole and rabbit trapper, for over 30 years, I should support all the various Organisations and Associations...

At first, it was all great fun,..they even made me a Regional Rep...

 

But,....it wasn't too long before I realized, that it was a massive mistake ...

 

I was not cut out to be a member of anything,...I am far too much of a loner...

[tilimangro 1,013]

In the early days I joined up

Paid the donation

Say several exams

But because one of their members high up worked in my area they wouldn't advertise my details on their site anywhere

Looking into it more I refuse to have anything to do with them

[trappa 518]

Mole trapping is more physical than mental, you cant teach that side in a classroom. Trudging miles up and down hills carrying pounds of traps with a wind so cold that it makes your eyes water, setting traps and you cant feel your fingers yet you know youve still got hours of trapping to go, being pis* wet through and carrying on regardless, and knowing youve it all to go through tomorrow, and the day after and the day after...... you cant teach that in a classroom. Ive pissed on my fingers to get some feeling in them, i remember walking back to the van over the moors nearly being in tears as the snow was blowing horizontally and i was an inch away from packing it all in.

Its not all getting a phone call from the old lady down the road, setting a couple of traps in her garden and having a cuppa with her. Classrooms and qualifications dont teach that sh*t.

[mackem 26,738]

Mole trapping is more physical than mental, you cant teach that side in a classroom. Trudging miles up and down hills carrying pounds of traps with a wind so cold that it makes your eyes water, setting traps and you cant feel your fingers yet you know youve still got hours of trapping to go, being pis* wet through and carrying on regardless, and knowing youve it all to go through tomorrow, and the day after and the day after...... you cant teach that in a classroom. Ive pissed on my fingers to get some feeling in them, i remember walking back to the van over the moors nearly being in tears as the snow was blowing horizontally and i was an inch away from packing it all in.

Its not all getting a phone call from the old lady down the road, setting a couple of traps in her garden and having a cuppa with her. Classrooms and qualifications dont teach that sh*t.

School of hard-knocks,good post.

[Gravy 18]

Over my head!

 

I Might be good at catching them but havent a clue on kinaesthetic sense and radial sesamoid bones!!!

 

Guess i wont be getting my o level in moling!

Showing your age now Trappa, O levels have been gone a long long time, lol

[DIDO.1 22,842]

Mole trapping is more physical than mental, you cant teach that side in a classroom. Trudging miles up and down hills carrying pounds of traps with a wind so cold that it makes your eyes water, setting traps and you cant feel your fingers yet you know youve still got hours of trapping to go, being pis* wet through and carrying on regardless, and knowing youve it all to go through tomorrow, and the day after and the day after...... you cant teach that in a classroom. Ive pissed on my fingers to get some feeling in them, i remember walking back to the van over the moors nearly being in tears as the snow was blowing horizontally and i was an inch away from packing it all in.

Its not all getting a phone call from the old lady down the road, setting a couple of traps in her garden and having a cuppa with her. Classrooms and qualifications dont teach that sh*t.

Alright bear grylls no need for golden showers ?

[earth-thrower 493]

Mole trapping is more physical than mental, you cant teach that side in a classroom. Trudging miles up and down hills carrying pounds of traps with a wind so cold that it makes your eyes water, setting traps and you cant feel your fingers yet you know youve still got hours of trapping to go, being pis* wet through and carrying on regardless, and knowing youve it all to go through tomorrow, and the day after and the day after...... you cant teach that in a classroom. Ive pissed on my fingers to get some feeling in them, i remember walking back to the van over the moors nearly being in tears as the snow was blowing horizontally and i was an inch away from packing it all in.

Its not all getting a phone call from the old lady down the road, setting a couple of traps in her garden and having a cuppa with her. Classrooms and qualifications dont teach that sh*t.

Well said, mate !

[earth-thrower 493]

Not takin the pis here but what qualification do you get? Do you get a moling certificate or is it so you can use aluminium phosphide?

"or is it so you can use aluminium phosphide?",......you made me smile here,...cause it would be immediate expulsion from the guild, id bet ?, if you admitted to using that stuff ! ,.......(personally , i wish it would go, like the way strychnine did ? )

Edited October 8, 2017 by earth-thrower

[trappa 518]

Haha, your probably right earth thrower! I used to use it but i just dont like it and dont particularly rate it either. Give me traps all day

[mole trapper 1,693]

I thought this thread was a wind up, but you really are talking about doing qualifications not to catch moles but know how long a male moles dick is etc! I'm truly gobsmacked.

[Gravy 18]

I thought this thread was a wind up, but you really are talking about doing qualifications not to catch moles but know how long a male moles dick is etc! I'm truly gobsmacked.

How have you managed all these years, without this vital information!!