hunting joke thread

[hunter1989 91]

Q:Why do women like hunters?

 

A:They go deep into the bush they shoot twice and they eat what they shoot.

 

Gun Shop Owner: "Hi, How can I help you?"

Client: "I'm lookin' for a gun."

 

Owner:"What kind of gun are you lookin' for?"

 

Client: (pointing at the biggest handgun in the case): "That one looks about right."

 

Owner: (very surprised): " Why do you need a .44 magnum?"

 

Client: "It's for shootin' at cans."

Owner: (pointing at a small handgun): "Well, this is the perfect size for shooting at cans."

 

Client: (pointing again at the .44): "Nah, I need this one."

 

Owner: "OK, what kind of cans are you shooting at?"

 

Client: "Mexi-cans.......Puerto Ri-cans........Afri-cans

[rossi_j 99]

First one

 

Second one is old as the hills tho mate and was pretty crap the first time I heard it

 

I did like the one phantom posted a while ago "a rabbit walks into a bar and orders a pint and a ham toastie"

You know the one, I did do a quick search but couldent find it.

 

.atb. .ste.

[Big bald beautiful 1,231]

Mixing my toastys...older then I am

[ButterWouldntMelt 0]

Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture and bagged six big bucks. The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected and he said, "The plane can only take four of your elk; you will have to leave two behind." They argued with him; the year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard. The plane was the same model and capacity. Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to put all six aboard. But when the attempted to take off and leave the valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the wilderness. Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other, "Do you know where we are?" "I think so," replied the other hunter. I think this is about the same place where we landed last year!"

 

 

I'll try to find a better one.

Edited March 21, 2011 by ButterWouldntMelt

[secretagentmole 1,701]

Two bears are watching a hunter trying to stalk bears, first bear says "Do you think they crap in the woods?"

[fry 209]

pair of idiots out shootin shotties when a dwarf flies over in a hang glider they both let rip with both barrels an the dwarf veers off to avoid em. one says to the other "what the feck was that" the other replies "feck knows but what ever it was it didnt wanna drop the midget"

[pianoman 3,587]

A bunch of prehistoric cavemen are gathered in a cave discussing hunting a particularly tricky animal. As they study a wall-painting of a large prehistoric reptile with a vicious looking multi-spiked tail, their leader turns to the group.

 

"Now then lads, pay particular attention to the defensive weaponry of this animal's tail. We call it the "Thag-O-Mizer" in honour of it's late discoverer...Thaddius P. Thag....

[ButterWouldntMelt 0]