keeper 51 78 Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Europe has decided it is no longer acceptable to call people illegal immigrants or asylum seekers they should now be addressed as Travellers Without Authority to Stay....or T.W.A.T.S for short A Scouser goes on Dragons Den and shows them an old shot gun and a gamekeepers bag Peter Jones says "and whats your idea" Scouser replies,"it a simple concept Peter,just put the money in the f*cking bag" Little sam asked his dad for a bike for his birthday his dad said "no son,the mortgage is grand and your mummy's just lost her job" :secret: next day little sam walked out with his suitcase packed his dad asked "where you going son" sam replied "i walked past your bedroom last night and heard you tell mum you were pulling out, she said to wait cos she was comin too,and i'm not staying here on my own with an grand mortgage and no f*cking bike Paddy & Murphy are in the pub when starts to choke starts chockin on her food as she starts to go blue in the face paddy rushes over and goes up behind her,whips up her skirt and pulls her knickers down and runs his tongue up and down between the cheeks of her arse :tongue4: the horrified woman gasps & and spits the food across the room murphy says well done paddy i,ve heard about the hind lick manouvre but thats the first time i've seen it done Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lanesra 3,994 Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Europe has decided it is no longer acceptable to call people illegal immigrants or asylum seekers they should now be addressed as Travellers Without Authority to Stay....or T.W.A.T.S for short A Scouser goes on Dragons Den and shows them an old shot gun and a gamekeepers bag Peter Jones says "and whats your idea" Scouser replies,"it a simple concept Peter,just put the money in the f*cking bag" Little sam asked his dad for a bike for his birthday his dad said "no son,the mortgage is grand and your mummy's just lost her job" :secret: next day little sam walked out with his suitcase packed his dad asked "where you going son" sam replied "i walked past your bedroom last night and heard you tell mum you were pulling out, she said to wait cos she was comin too,and i'm not staying here on my own with an grand mortgage and no f*cking bike Paddy & Murphy are in the pub when starts to choke starts chockin on her food as she starts to go blue in the face paddy rushes over and goes up behind her,whips up her skirt and pulls her knickers down and runs his tongue up and down between the cheeks of her arse :tongue4: the horrified woman gasps & and spits the food across the room murphy says well done paddy i,ve heard about the hind lick manouvre but thats the first time i've seen it done Hahahaha very good , especially THE TWAT'S Quote Link to post Share on other sites
keeper 51 78 Posted February 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 And theres more A woman has been admitted to hospital with a Dyson nozzle wedged in her fanny Although she's in intensive care Doctors say she is picking up nicely My mate bought a deodorant stick today. The instructions said, remove wrapper and push up bottom' He can barely walk but when he fart's the room smells lovely Quote Link to post Share on other sites
terrierjohn 49 Posted February 16, 2011 Report Share Posted February 16, 2011 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :toast: quality Quote Link to post Share on other sites
keeper 51 78 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2011 Why is it whenever you see a fit blonde eating a banana you think of the porn channel but when you see a black woman eating a banana you think of the Discovery Channel Nub goes into confessional and say's to the priest "i am pregnant" he askes how this could happen?? and she say's "I think it must be the 2nd coming" and the priest shocked by this reply ask's "What makes you think it was the 2nd coming" she replied " "cos i swallowed the first" Bloke on a night time fishing fishing session decidesto start a conversation with the angler next to him "Alright mate her on holliday "nah mate i'm on me honeymoon" "on your honeymoon so why arn,t you at home f*cking the life out of your missuss" cant do that he replies shes got every STD imaginable her minge is covered in suppurating sores and leaks a constant stream of foul smelling green goo" :sick: "well why don't you go to trap 2 and and pound the f*ck out of her arse ? "can't do that mate she's had a rectal prolapse and you can basically see her kidneys the sphincter muscle has ripped and the shit constantly runs down the inside of her leg" :sick: :sick: "Well if you don't mind me asking why the f*ck did you marry someone so foul and disgusting" "FOR THE MAGGOTS" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stiggy 6 Posted February 16, 2011 Report Share Posted February 16, 2011 lol!!!! :sick: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
keeper 51 78 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2011 An indian woman sat next to me on the bus closed her eyes and stopped breathing i though she was dead but then i saw the red dot on her head and realised she was on standby Two women on there way back from a night out stop in a graveyard for a piss one wipes her fanny with her knickers and the other uses a wreath of flowers their husbands were in the pub the next night one says "I'd better watch my wife. she came home last night with no knickers on" :secret: The other man says "thats f*ck all, mine had a card wedged in her arse saying we'll never forget you from all the boys at the firestation Quote Link to post Share on other sites
keeper 51 78 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2011 (edited) I felt sorry for a hypnotists i saw last night. he hypnotised 7 blokes then he tripped over the microphone cord And yelled " f*ck me what happened next will haunt me forever While King Arthur was away looking for the holy grail he made Guinevere wear a chastity belt fitted with a small guillotine to stop anyone interfering with her.When he returned he asked all of his knights to drop their trousers and the only one was still left with his cock was Lancelot. " Lancelot my faithful friend " he said " you alone can i trust,what shall we do with these traitors ?? come on man speak up, have you lost your tongue "???? : A paki died whilst training to be a skydiver. Sources at the BNP school of skydiving say they have no idea why his snorkel and flippers did not open?? Edited February 16, 2011 by keeper 51 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jf1970 328 Posted February 16, 2011 Report Share Posted February 16, 2011 :notworthy: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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