77 si 21 Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 A kid gave his teacher a blank piece of paper. Teacher: What is this? Kid: It's a drawing of a cow eating grass. Teacher: (looked at the paper) Where's the grass? Kid: The cow ate all of it. ...Teacher: (looked at the paper again)Then, where's the cow? Kid: It Fu(ked off because there was no more grass. Women should be like golf caddies Either holding your balls or getting your tee ready! :clapping: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 (edited) A Wife ask her Husband, "What do you like most about me? My pretty face? or my sexy ass?" The Husband replied, "Your sense of humour." Watching the wife clothes-shopping is a lot like Derek Acorah. There's no way either of them are a fecking medium. Edited February 7, 2011 by christian71 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 You know a girl is in to you if you put your hand down her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
trooperman 73 Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 paddy goes to see his doctor,,,its a woman whats the problem she asks him i have a rash on my cock say's paddy we best have a look then then say's the doctor doctor say's to paddy your going to have to stop wanking why say's paddy doctor say's to paddy because i am trying to examine you. paul Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 A guy broke into my house last week. He didn't take the TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels. Sick b@stard. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
moonlighter 1,164 Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 Paddy, Mick + Murphy all work for a boss who always goes home early. One day Mick says 'let's go home early, he'll never know' so they all leave just after the boss. Mick goes to the bookies, Murphy goes to the pub, and Paddy goes home to find his wife having sex with his boss. Next day Mick says 'that was great, shall we do it again' 'Not bloody likely' says Paddy 'I nearly got caught'! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
moonlighter 1,164 Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 Teacher at school asks "does [NO TEXT TALK] know where Paki-stan is?" Little Johnny says "I think he goes home for dinner!"... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
moonlighter 1,164 Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 My dog ran off so I walked around the park calling it's name for 10 minutes but still couldn't find it. My wife said I should look harder. So I shaved my head and got a tattoo but still can't find the f*****g thing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
moonlighter 1,164 Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 Fat housewife on her knees scrubbing the kitchen floor when suddenly she yells for her husband 'Charlie come quickly, i'm paralyzed , i can't get up!' he comes and takes a look 'stand up you silly fat fucka. . . . Your kneeling on your tits !' Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said "Toilets closed 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 (edited) Teacher to class, "Children, we are all descendants of Adam & Eve". Pupil, "But Miss, my Mommy and Daddy said we came from apes". Teacher: "Stay out of this one Leroy, I'm not talking about your fu(king lot! "Sometimes, my secretary reminds me of my wife. I was unbuttoning her shirt the other day during our lunch break when she says "Remember, you have a wife." Edited February 7, 2011 by christian71 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 My dog ran off so I walked around the park calling it's name for 10 minutes but still couldn't find it. My wife said I should look harder. So I shaved my head and got a tattoo but still can't find the f*****g thing. f*****g PMSL.......... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said "Toilets closed f*****g beauty tae.................not like ye.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said "Toilets closed f*****g beauty tae.................not like ye.. Press the rep button then lab 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 walking down the street,i saw a nigger carrying a telly. I thought that looks like mine. Then i realised mine was at home sweeping the stairs! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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