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These had me laughing


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A little girl is in the park with her mum and she saw two people having sex on a bench :D The girl asked her mum what they were doing, she replied 'making cakes' :icon_eek: Next day the girl says to her mum ' i saw you and daddy making cakes on the sofa last night'. Mum says ' how do you know'? The girl replied 'cos i licked the icing off the cusions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' :icon_redface::clapper:

 

In a survey of why men like blow jobs, heres the results:

2% loved the feeling

3% liked the thrill and

95% just loved the f*****g silence!!!! :censored::laugh:

 

What gets longer when pulled, fits between your tits, inserts neatly in a hole and works best when jerked?

A seatbelt you pervert, buckle up and pass it on! :tongue2:

 

A teacher asked her class for a three syllable word. Johnny said '' masturbate''. Teacher said ''that's a mouthful''. 'no' said johnny, '' you're thinking of a blowjob!''

 

I wanted to send you something beautiful, kind, attractive, funny and sexy.........But the postman told me to get the f**k out the post box!

 

Sex is evil. Sex is class. Whip me baby. Spank my ass. 69er, doggy style. f**k me baby. Make me smile. So if you want me in the sack, lick your lips and mail me back! :kiss:

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Wow with jokes like that i tought you was a fella :o A women after my own heart :D

 

Damright :thumbs-up:

 

Well um, my fella sent these to me :icon_redface: But i found them funny, so i thought i'd share em anyway! Im a ladette, not a laydee....... :laugh:

:clapper::laugh: feckinell do you two play rugby as well :laugh::laugh:

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Wow with jokes like that i tought you was a fella :o A women after my own heart :D

 

Damright :thumbs-up:

 

Well um, my fella sent these to me :icon_redface: But i found them funny, so i thought i'd share em anyway! Im a ladette, not a laydee....... :laugh:

:clapper::laugh: feckinell do you two play rugby as well :laugh::laugh:

No but used to be on a pool/darts team if that helps - and me has a 180 trohpy in darts (well the ex still has it) :censored:

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Wow with jokes like that i tought you was a fella :o A women after my own heart :D

 

Damright :thumbs-up:

 

Well um, my fella sent these to me :icon_redface: But i found them funny, so i thought i'd share em anyway! Im a ladette, not a laydee....... :laugh:

:clapper::laugh: feckinell do you two play rugby as well :laugh::laugh:

No but used to be on a pool/darts team if that helps - and me has a 180 trohpy in darts (well the ex still has it) :censored:

:D at least i know why your mate wanted to castrate her dog ,its a revenge thing :laugh::laugh:

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as this plane was crashing this woman jumps up and starts ripping her clothes off ..and shouts if iam going to die i want to die feeling like a woman....is there anybody man enough to sort me out........the this chap jumps up and starts taking his shirt of and then shouts ME.......and says iron this....

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Well..For christmas the Mr's told me she would like something that went from 0 to 140 in 3 seconds....................so i bought the fat feck a pair of scales..... :icon_redface:

:laugh::laugh: i just told my mrs that one,she aint happy shes on a diet :laugh::drink:

 

:clapper:

Well..For christmas the Mr's told me she would like something that went from 0 to 140 in 3 seconds....................so i bought the fat feck a pair of scales..... :icon_redface:

:laugh::laugh: i just told my mrs that one,she aint happy shes on a diet :laugh::drink:

:clapper: :clapper: its feckin funny on ere tonight

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as this plane was crashing this woman jumps up and starts ripping her clothes off ..and shouts if iam going to die i want to die feeling like a woman....is there anybody man enough to sort me out........the this chap jumps up and starts taking his shirt of and then shouts ME.......and says iron this....

Only you could bring up planes crashing when i have a sever phobia :yes::yes::yes::laugh: Funny though

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