SEAN3513 7 Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 50 THINGS YOU WOULD LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. 6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. 10. Ahhhh. I see the cock-up fairy has visited us again. 11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid. 12 You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a toss. 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental. 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?! 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 23. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be? 24. Do I look like a bloody people person to you? 25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left. 27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed. 31. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different......... 32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls. 33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door..........1? 34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it? 36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done. 37. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money. 39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent. 40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 41. Aren't you a black hole of need. 42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in? 43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning? 44. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma. 45. If you have something to say raise your hand... then place it over your mouth. 46. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time? 47. Don't let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on its own. 48. Have a nice day, somewhere else. 49. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away. 50. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lord of the fens 23 Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 the one I'd love to say at work on a monday morning is.... got the 6 numbers in the lottery...... BYE Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stevesel 18 Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 I once said to my boss in front of about 20 blokes. If i called you a c**t you would sack me? Yes he replied But i can think what i like says i Yes he replied Well i think your a C**T! The whole place was in uproar but true to his word the old b*****d never sacked me, i never got a pay rise either but it was well worth it to see his face. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Catcher 1 639 Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Get off your fat ass and do it yourself you lazy b*****d. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
greg64 2,842 Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 i think ive said all the above at work at some time Quote Link to post Share on other sites
droid 11 Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 (edited) Have you lot been listening to me at work? And no, I don't work at the same place as Greg....I don't think..... Edited October 4, 2010 by droid Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Catcher 1 639 Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 In the old days actions spoke louder that words The nanny state f--ked that up. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
oakey 57 Posted October 5, 2010 Report Share Posted October 5, 2010 One i did say the other day "your confusing me with someone who gives a f**k" the one i would like to say is "just because there polish dose that mean they can get away with so much more than a brit" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rikjd 8 Posted October 5, 2010 Report Share Posted October 5, 2010 haha i said a lot of these today, just returned to work after two weeks off and i can see they struggled without my common sense Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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