Relative Values

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

So, I'm on the phone to my Bro' the other night. " Yeah, " He says. " We're looking at moving to one of those roads like up where Lou lives? I mean; They're nice, big houses up there. Plenty of width. Solidly built. They even have a cellar! "

 

That impressed me. I don't know why. Like; What would I even do with a f*ckin cellar? Cool thought though. Anyway .....

 

" And, of course, " He continued. " They have an upstairs bathroom. Ye know our place only has that little, downstairs one? Well, I can tell ye, Ditch; It's no fun when ye caught short in the middle of the night. Ye have to troop all the way downstairs, in the dark! "

 

I took this in. Took a breath. Sighed. " Heap, " I replied, wearily (I call him 'Heap'. Long story). " Heap; How the f*ckin hell do ye think it is then, having to go staggering out into the lashing wind and rain. Trapse across a slushy, slippery field, in ye slippers. Then have to stand there, in pitch blackness, with ye arse hanging over a f*cking ditch?! "

 

" Hmmm ..... " He said. He got my point.

 

 

People!

[Guest Jane Russell]

Do as a friend of mine does ... get yourself an ensuite bucket :11:

 

Jane

[marco 24]

i wish i had a quid for everytime i got caught short while out with the dogs,it used to be a bit tricky down the fen,nowt to hide behind :11:

[king 12,038]

there was a wooden house at the top of the valley i lived in. it was owned by to old people the stream would go right under the house it was 1 of those houses up on leg's any way when the grandchildren were there and the granny went to the toilet all the kid's would go outside and poke the granny's shit with a stick as it went down the stream

on a more serious note ditchy why dont you build some kind of outside toilet cubicle or something on the egde of the ditch so when it's pissing down with rain you can go in there