kash 1 Posted August 10, 2010 Report Share Posted August 10, 2010 my mate caught me sniffing his sisters knickers while having a w**k yesterday. lets just say its gonna make things awkward at her funeral tomorrow :sick: my missus doesn't like my new aftershave'Chloroform' Apparently it makes her feel sleepy and gives her a sore arse Quote Link to post Share on other sites
essexjed 1 Posted August 10, 2010 Report Share Posted August 10, 2010 my mate caught me sniffing his sisters knickers while having a w**k yesterday. lets just say its gonna make things awkward at her funeral tomorrow :sick: add that to my welsh friend tab......been trying to tell him all night about sniffing his sisters/ mums/dads/bros...undies......its not on!!!! my missus doesn't like my new aftershave'Chloroform' Apparently it makes her feel sleepy and gives her a sore arse Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted August 11, 2010 Report Share Posted August 11, 2010 A blind man goes to a restaurant. "Menu sir"? asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me 1 of your dirty forks from the kitchen and i will smell it and order" The confused owner gets a fork. The blind man smelt it with a deep breath and says "Yes, i will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring veg"! Unbelieveable thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. 2 weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to see how good his smell really is,so he quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Lucy was cooking. "Do me a favour and rub this fork over your pussy"! He takes it to the blind man and gives him the fork. He takes a deep breath and says "f*****g hell.....i never knew Lucy worked here!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Terryorr 27 Posted August 11, 2010 Report Share Posted August 11, 2010 A baby boy was born with no ears and when his mum brought him home everyone ask her why does he not have any ears. This went on for a week until she went mad and said thats it, I dont want to hear anyone else mention that childs ears. The next person to see the child said to the mother, is his eyes ok. Oh for f..k sake she says, every c..t was asking about his ears now your asking about his eyes, Why. Well says your man, if he ever needs glasses, hes f..ked Quote Link to post Share on other sites
slingshot82 32 Posted August 11, 2010 Report Share Posted August 11, 2010 The 'Erectus Trouserious' Or trouser snake as its more commonly known is the Worlds most dangerous snake. Colours vary from pink to black. Its fangless, average length is 5-6 inches (although some are said to reach up to 12 inches depending on the honesty of its owner), it appears usually in bedrooms, attacking women in the mouth or lower abdominal area. Its highly vemomous spit can cause swelling lasting 9 months! Some breeds are also known to attack men from behind... BE CAREFUL Kyle Quote Link to post Share on other sites
slingshot82 32 Posted August 11, 2010 Report Share Posted August 11, 2010 Did you hear about the IRISH EXORCISM????? A mother had to call in the Devil to get the priest out of her son..... Kyle Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CarraghsGem 92 Posted August 12, 2010 Report Share Posted August 12, 2010 a guy goes into a pub and turns to his friend and says "you wont believe what happened, i was taking a shortcut along the railway tracks and found a girl tied to the tracks, i untied her and we had sex over and over, all different positions, everything! " his friend replies "thats great; did you get a blow job?" oh no; i never found her head. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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