O Dear

[wullieh 53]

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)...and they WILL breed and vote.

 

Q. Name the four seasons

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

 

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

 

Q. How is dew formed

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

 

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans

A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

 

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on

A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

 

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections

A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

 

Q. What are steroids

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

 

Q.. What happens to your body as you age

A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

 

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty

A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

 

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes

A. Premature death

 

Q. What is artificial insemination

A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

 

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour

A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

 

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)

A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (what?!)

 

Q. What is the fibula?

A. A small lie

 

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?

A. Nearby

 

Q. What is the most common form of birth control

A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

 

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'

A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

 

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

 

Q. What is a terminal illness

A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

 

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

 

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning

A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (Oh my!)

 

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?

A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

 

Q. What is a turbine?

A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

[olim 28]

haha, i think most of these are just pistakes when people dont know the answers, if not i dont think there will be much competition in the future, which isnt a bad thing

[slingshot82 32]

PMSL

 

Kyle

[MuttleMcTuttle 21]

Some of those are actually quite well-considered and I suspect it's the kids taking the p*ss...

 

As for

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)...and they WILL breed and vote

Haven't they already started breeding well before they're 16 these days?

[the fezz 44]

god help them , feckin clue less

[CarraghsGem 92]

Some of those are actually quite well-considered and I suspect it's the kids taking the p*ss...

 

As for

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)...and they WILL breed and vote

Haven't they already started breeding well before they're 16 these days?

 

sounds more like their stoned! the joys of youth.... wish i was 16/17/18 again....

[Ideation 8,216]

In the future we may be devoid of all knowledge, but by f**k will we be funny!

[Terryorr 27]

Hi Wullieh you forgot these ones

Q. Name a bird with a long neck. A. Niomi Campbell

Q. Name a famous Scottish man. A. Hamish

Q. What was Ghandis first name. Goosie Goosie

Edited July 26, 2010 by Terryorr

[CarraghsGem 92]

mankind is doomed

[bobwood8 1]

in all fairness some of them q's were hard

and there is some big words amonst them too

[CarraghsGem 92]

in all fairness some of them q's were hard

and there is some big words amonst them too

 

not really.

 

a difficult question would be for example;

what is meticillyn resistant staphylycocous aureous (i apologise for my spelling)

more commonly known as?

 

"name the four seasons" is hardly complicated!

[Lab 10,979]

in all fairness some of them q's were hard

and there is some big words amonst them too

 

not really.

 

a difficult question would be for example;

what is meticillyn resistant staphylycocous aureous (i apologise for my spelling)

more commonly known as?

 

"name the four seasons" is hardly complicated!

Is that an STD................

[MuttleMcTuttle 21]

This is more worrying, bearing in mind our life is in their hands...

 

Actual writings on hospital charts(allegedly)

 

 

1. The patient refused autopsy.

 

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

 

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

 

4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only

 

a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

 

5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was

 

very hot in bed last night.

 

6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

 

7. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it

 

disappeared.

 

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be

 

depressed.

 

9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

 

10. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.

 

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but

 

forgetful.

 

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

 

13. She is numb from her toes down.

 

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

 

15. The skin was moist and dry.

 

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

 

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

 

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

 

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until

 

she got a divorce.

 

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical

 

therapy.

 

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

 

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized

 

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

 

24. Skin: somewhat pale. but present.

 

25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

 

26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

 

27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

[slingshot82 32]

This is more worrying, bearing in mind our life is in their hands...

 

Actual writings on hospital charts(allegedly)

 

 

1. The patient refused autopsy.

 

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

 

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

 

4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only

 

a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

 

5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was

 

very hot in bed last night.

 

6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

 

7. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it

 

disappeared.

 

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be

 

depressed.

 

9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

 

10. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.

 

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but

 

forgetful.

 

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

 

13. She is numb from her toes down.

 

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

 

15. The skin was moist and dry.

 

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

 

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

 

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

 

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until

 

she got a divorce.

 

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical

 

therapy.

 

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

 

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized

 

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

 

24. Skin: somewhat pale. but present.

 

25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

 

26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

 

27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

Haha thats well funny

 

Kyle

[The one 8,511]

Some beauties there