Just a laff....

[its ma baw 51]

A teacher asked her class how many of them were Gordon Brown fans.

 

Not really knowing what a Gordon Brown fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.

 

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...again.

 

Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not a Gordon Brown fan.'

 

The teacher asked, 'Why aren't you a Gordon Brown fan?'

 

Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Conservative.'

 

The teacher asked him why he's a Conservative.

 

Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mum's a Conservative and my Dad's a Conservative, so I'm a Conservative.'

 

 

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, 'If your Mum was a moron and your Dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

 

Little Johnny replied, 'A Gordon Brown fan.'

[delboy p 183]

i was in bed with the new girlfriend last night and she said i had the biggest cock she;d ever had her hands on. i said, you;re pulling my leg

[delboy p 183]

hi its your mobile you dont actually have a message i justwanted you to take me out your pocket because your nob stinks

[stormyboy 1,352]

Ramadam is here again. The one time of the year when muslims cannot eat or drink within the hours of daylight,they just starve.

Never has the term "not enough hours in the day" been more f*****g appropriate!

[stormyboy 1,352]

Just fostered a young paki kid. Got him on the back of the head with four cans!

[the colonel 83]

have you ever noticed it's always only 'perfect people'that are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?"he/she was the perfect child", "such a tragic accident, they were the perfect couple"..................................................................

 

 

 

 

 

 

aren't you glad your a twat it's ma baw!!!

[its ma baw 51]

have you ever noticed it's always only 'perfect people'that are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?"he/she was the perfect child", "such a tragic accident, they were the perfect couple"..................................................................

 

 

 

 

 

 

aren't you glad your a twat it's ma baw!!!

 

LOL mate....

[its ma baw 51]

Paddys on the final question on'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?'

 

Chris Tarrant says, 'Which of the following species of birds does not build

its own nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?

 

Is it:

 

A the eagle

 

B the buzzard

 

C the cuckoo

 

D the robin

 

Paddy didn't know the answer.

 

All that remained was his Phone-a-Friend Lifeline.

 

he calls Mick and gave him the question and the four choices. Mick responded unhesitatingly:

 

'That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo.'

 

Crossing his fingers, Paddy says to Tarrant, 'C: The cuckoo.'

 

'Your correct, you are now a millionaire!

 

At the after show dinner Paddy says to Mick, I just do not know how to thank you.

'How did you happen to know the right answer?'

 

'Oh, come on now,' said Mick 'Everybody knows that cuckoos

don't build nests. They live in clocks.'

Edited July 25, 2010 by its ma baw

[spanielsandhawks 466]

I went to the fishNchip/shop earlier. A big fat mamma serving. about ten minutes go by then she handed me my chips and said ''sorry about the wait love'' so i replied ''it's ok you'll loose it eventually''

[the colonel 83]

chris tarrant says to wayne bridge,"for £32.000. can you tell me the colour of your girlfriends pubic hair?... is it,

a. brown.

b. black.

c. blonde.

d. ginger.

wayne ponders, then says,"can i phone a friend?"

[the colonel 83]

man lying in bed after sex with his new thai wife, she keeps stroking his cock.he says "do you like my cock that much!!!!" she says,"no, i just miss mine!"

[bawless 2]

Police have warned mourners to turn up early for the snooker legend Alex Higgins funeral as they are expecting a big cue.... Alex Higgins is due to be buried in a quiet corner of the cemetery, at one side of him will be a chineseman, the other a jamican and infront a paki. A family spokesman has said he is completely snookered behind the yellow, black and brown!!!

[bawless 2]

Peter invites his mum for tea. She notices his flat mate Joe is a bit camp and although she suspects her son peter is gay, he denies everything and says they are only flat mates... A week later Joe says to Peter, ever since your mum was here the frying pan has been missing... So Peter writes his mum a letter....Dear mum, I'm not saying you did take the frying pan and I'm not saying you didn't take it but its been missing ever since you came to tea, love Peter.... His mum replies... Dear son, I'm not saying you do sleep with Joe and I'm not saying you don't sleep with him, but if he slept in his own bed, the wee poof would have found the frying pan by now, love mum.