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In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was “where do most women have curly hair?â€

Apparently, it's Africa!

 

One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells.

It appears that Scousers and Pikeys is not the correct answer!

 

I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children’s iPod after realising that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

 

The wife told me I was no longer romantic so I booked a table for the two of us on Valentine's Night. Problem was she's rubbish at snooker!

 

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in town but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets!

 

Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.

Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.

 

Scientists have revealed today that they have found a new drug for depressed l*sbians. It's called Trydixagen.

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