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Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.

Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."

Vet: "Is it a tom?"

Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."

 

 

***

 

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to

have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.

Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"

Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"

Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"

***

 

 

A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone

should have the words "she were thine" engraved on it. He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be

ready a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason

calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like

to come and have a look. When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that

it's been engraved "she were thin". He explodes - fooking 'ell man,

you've left the fooking "e" out, you've left the fooking "e" out! The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will

be rectified the following morning. Next day comes and the widower

returns to the stone mason - "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on

the stone for you".

The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud - "E, she were thin".

 

***

 

 

Bloke from Barnsley with a sore a*** asks chemist "Nah then lad,

does tha sell arse cream?"

Chemist replies "Aye, magnum or cornetto?"

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Ay-up lad. They're all mad bar me and thee and Ah'm non so sure abaht thee.

 

An' recall tha Dad's words. Hear all, see all, say nowt. Eat all all, drink all pay nowt. An' if tha does owt for nowt do it for tha sen.

 

Put t'wood in t'oil tha daft twat

 

Ric

Edited by RicW
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Ay-up lad. They're all mad bar me and thee and Ah'm non so sure abaht thee.

 

An' recall tha Dad's words. Hear all, see all, say nowt. Eat all all, drink all pay nowt. An' if tha does owt for nowt do it for tha sen.

 

Put t'wood in t'oil tha daft twat

 

Ric

the yorkshire mans motto. its eat all SUP all pay nowt :thumbs:

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Ay-up lad. They're all mad bar me and thee and Ah'm non so sure abaht thee.

 

An' recall tha Dad's words. Hear all, see all, say nowt. Eat all all, drink all pay nowt. An' if tha does owt for nowt do it for tha sen.

 

Put t'wood in t'oil tha daft twat

 

Ric

the yorkshire mans motto. its eat all SUP all pay nowt :thumbs:

 

You're not wrong. :notworthy:

 

Ric

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