On my best behaviour lol lol

[Guest CharlieC]

Im going for tea at my Mums today.

 

wish me luck .......................I will need it!! :11:

 

My Mum is err...................a bit.....................posh and your not allowed to swear or owt like that, so its gonna be hard, I dunno if me and the OH can manage it Were gonna get together just before we go and have a mad swear-a-thon, get it all out of our systems so we dont feel the urge when were sitting down to tea and biscuits Its like the Avid Merrion piss take of Davina McCall on Bo Selecta, you know the one where she says

"Were live on Big Brother, so dont say f**k or bugger!" :11:

 

Anyone else have this problem? or am I just a crude, horrible , potty-mouthed embarrassment to my parents?

[Guest chilli]

get stress of the old dear for sayin c**t but thats it really !! iam her little soldier can do no wrong

[Guest whippet]

I don't get this problem.......................maily cos it's my parents who are swearing at me most of the time :11:

[Guest nastybilly]

im sure you can pull it off cc your such a little angel, jist speak slowly and deliberatly and mind the pinky in the air and dont slurp your tea or pour it on your saucer and drink it, dont fart at the table, and for feks sake take your wellies off at the door...

[Guest BORDERFOX]

I was with my mate in the pub when his mam walked in and said,

"you look shattered"

His reply was priceless

"so would you if youd been up all night shagging!"

 

another lad later said that nite He couldnt get out in time cos his mam was in the bathroom.

He politely enquired of her situation with a discreet rap on the door and the tender phrase

"What the f**k you doing in there mother? playing with yourself!"

 

CC your in good company lol

[spade 224]

My missus once rang a mate and got the answerfone. She left a message telling her to stop shaggin and pick the bloody phone up. Her mate was out and her mates mum was baby sitting and heard the lot. The mother was well embarrased but the rest of us thought it were feckin hilarious.

[Wilky 0]

My missus once rang a mate and got the answerfone. She left a message telling her to stop shaggin and pick the bloody phone up. Her mate was out and her mates mum was baby sitting and heard the lot. The mother was well embarrased but the rest of us thought it were feckin hilarious.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Wilky 0]

I once dropped my mate off at home after work and went in for a brew, his wife was ready to part with their baby any day and his mother in law was there, who was a right posh get and she said to my mate "Are you ready for the big day?" and he goes "Yep" and she said "What would you like, boy or a girl" and my mate went " As long as it's white I dont really give a f**k" I nearly chocked on my tea and his mother in law nearly dropped a kid of her own.

[Stabs 3]

:11: :11: :11: :11: :11: :11: Love it!!

[Guest CharlieC]

:11: :11: :11: :11:

 

well, I managed not to swear - phew

 

although there was lots of f*****g, bug*ering and suchlike (purely verbal of course ) on the way home cos the throttle pedal on the wee car is sticking for some unknown reason and there was water coming out of the radiator so the OH was not a happy bunny

[Guest Keeps]

>A young man called John invited his mother over for dinner.

>>>During the meal, she couldn't help but notice how handsome John's

>>>flatmate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the

>>>two, and this only made her more curious.

>>>

>>>Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she

>>>started to wonder if there was more between John and his flatmate than

>>>met the eye.

>>>

>>>Reading his mum's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be

>>>thinking, but I assure you, Simon and I are just flatmates."

>>>

>>>About a week later, Simon came to John saying, "Ever since your mother

>>>came to dinner I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy

>>>ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" "Well I doubt it, but

>>>I'll email her just to be sure." said John. So he sat down and wrote:

>>>Dear Mother, I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from my

>>>house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle, but the

>>>fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for

>>>dinner. Love John Several days later John received an email from his

>>>Mother which read: Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with

>>>Simon, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Simon, but the fact

>>>remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the

>>>gravy ladle by now. Love Mum *Lesson of the day: * *DON'T EVER LIE TO

>>>YOUR MOTHER !! (or a woman for that matter).*She ALWAYS finds out!!

[Guest CharlieC]

:11: :11: