Joke

[Lee85 44]

One day, the daddy rabbit says to his family, "Look over there, the grass is greener on the other side of the motorway".

So daddy rabbit gets his family lined up at the side, shouts, "1, 2, 3, GO!", and they run like f**k. The only rabbit to survive is the baby rabbit.

A few months later, a family of skunks have the same idea, so they line up. "1, 2, 3, GO!", shouts the daddy skunk. Same again, only the baby skunk survives, and scampers off into the lo [...]

 

Reveal the rest of this joke

One day, the daddy rabbit says to his family, "Look over there, the grass is greener on the other side of the motorway".

So daddy rabbit gets his family lined up at the side, shouts, "1, 2, 3, GO!", and they run like f**k. The only rabbit to survive is the baby rabbit.

A few months later, a family of skunks have the same idea, so they line up. "1, 2, 3, GO!", shouts the daddy skunk. Same again, only the baby skunk survives, and scampers off into the lovely green grass.

A few weeks later, the baby rabbit and the baby skunk bump into each other. "What are you?", asks the baby rabbit, and the skunk says the same.

The skunk says, "Well you have big floppy ears, a twitchy nose and a bob tail. I know you're a rabbit".

So the rabbit looks at the skunk and says, "Well you're not black and you're not white, and you f****n stink, I know what you are, yer a f****n' Paki."

[Lee85 44]

Why do Pakistanis smell so bad?

 

So the blind can hate them as well!

[Lee85 44]

During the Christmas period a Channel 4 big-wig has proposed as a good will gesture to pay for a large house for homeless people, prostitutes, single mothers, etc. to live in and enjoy over the Christmas period.

 

It promises to be the best series of Big Brother yet.

[Lee85 44]

What's better than being on Celebrity Big Brother?

 

Having two working eyes.

[Lee85 44]

Two Middle Eastern mothers are sitting in the cafe strip chatting over a pint of goat's milk. The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.

 

"This is my oldest son Mohammed. He's 24 years old now."

 

"Yes, I remember him as a baby," says the other mother cheerfully.

 

"He's a martyr now though," mum confides.

 

"Oh so sad dear," says the other.

[...]

 

Reveal the rest of this joke

Two Middle Eastern mothers are sitting in the cafe strip chatting over a pint of goat's milk. The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.

 

"This is my oldest son Mohammed. He's 24 years old now."

 

"Yes, I remember him as a baby," says the other mother cheerfully.

 

"He's a martyr now though," mum confides.

 

"Oh so sad dear," says the other.

 

"And this is my second son Khalid. He's 21."

 

"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born".

 

"He's a martyr too," says mum quietly.

 

"Oh gracious me ...." says the other.

 

"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He's 18," she whispers.

 

"Yes," says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school".

 

"He's a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.

 

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says... "They blow up so fast, don't they?"

[Lee85 44]

What do female Muslims use for birth control?

 

Their faces.

[Lee85 44]

A guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.

 

The guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?"

 

The customer says, "Female"

 

The counter guy asks, "Black or white?"

 

The customer says, "White"

 

The counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?"

 

The customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"

 

The counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up!"

[Lee85 44]

A man was arrested in London, found pouring petrol on Muslims and setting fire to them.

 

When the Police asked him what he was doing he said, "about 10 to the gallon".

[Lee85 44]

A Somali arrives in Swindon as a new immigrant to the UK. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,

"Thank you Mr Englishman for letting me in this country!"

But the passer-by says "You are mistaken, I am a Pakistani".

The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in Britain!".

The person says "I no Blitish. I flom Hong Kong".

the new arr [...]

 

Reveal the rest of this joke

A Somali arrives in Swindon as a new immigrant to the UK. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,

"Thank you Mr Englishman for letting me in this country!"

But the passer-by says "You are mistaken, I am a Pakistani".

The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in Britain!".

The person says "I no Blitish. I flom Hong Kong".

the new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says "Thank you for the wonderful Britain!"

That person puts up his hand and says "I am from Iran, I am not British".

He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you a British citizen?".

She says, "No, I am from Romania!"

So he is puzzled, and asks her, "Where are all the British?"

The Romanian lady looks at her watch, shrugs and says "Probably at work".

[Lee85 44]

Pakistani walks into a pub with a pig under his arm "Pint of bitter please" he says to the baman.

 

Pulling the pint barman looks up and asks "Where'd you get him?"

 

"Won him in a raffle" replies the pig

[Lee85 44]

My new Pakistani neighbour knocked on my door a few weeks ago to ask me about decorating his front room...

 

"Mr Smith, your front room is similar to mine" he said, "How many rolls of wall paper did you buy?"

 

"nine" I said,

 

He came back yesterday............................

 

"Mr Smith! I still have three rolls of wall paper left??"

 

"So did I, now f**k off!!"

[Tallyho 181]

are you trying to get banned ?? but some good ones there

[Lee85 44]

News Flash:

 

Sixty-Three Pakistanis have been reported killed or seriously injured in Bradford this morning after a bunk bed collapsed:

Police believe it was not a terrorist attack, but the work of Al-Ikea

[Lee85 44]

What does the average Pakistani weigh?

 

Sweets.

[Lee85 44]

i'm not trying to get banned - sorry!!! these are not my jokes i'm just copying and pasting them - i will stop now. sorry!