kristian 9 Posted January 13, 2010 Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 First off i've been with my missis 14yrs and we have a 6yr old a 11yr old and a 15 yr old(just turned 15 xmas day). Now those of you who can do the maths will have worked out that my boy is not biologically mine although i have raised him as best i can for 14 yrs. Anyway his bio father has never really bothered with him which has been great for me and my missus cause he's a no good scumbag who used to hit her about, never worked in his life (hes now 36 same age as me). We had a phonecall just before xmas to say he wanted to see his son, so me and my missus asked him why he had not seen or phoned him in the last 2yrs. He said he had been to prison for selling grass and thats why there was no contact (bearing in mind i could count the times hes actually seen him in his lifetime on my fingers. Me and my missus agreed to tell my boy so he could make the decision for himself. when my boy spoke to him on the phone he told him that he should visit him has he has a £100 for him for xmas. Obviously a 15yr old boy isn't going to say no to that (can't blame him lol). My boy went down there to see him then agreed to see him the following week. The night before last my boy comes strolling in late (just want to say he's a good kid never rally doing anything bad, never been in trouble) anyway my missus goes mad on him for being late and thinks she can smell smoke on him so goes through his pockets and finds skins (fag papers). When she qestions him he says he been smoking rollies so my missus shouts at him and sends him to bed. By this point my missus is fumming and runs upstairs and grabs his phone off him and looks through his messages to find a message off his bio scum dad that reads " enjoying ur party do ur mates like that green. could you get rid of some? let me know soon dad x x x" I am absolutley bouncing i phoned him up and threatened to kill him my missus has phoned the police but they came out and said they can't prove green is cannabis so can do nothing about it! Now before any weed smokers have a pop at me i'm not a smoker but if adults want to smoke it thats fine by me i have nothing against them smoking it but to give it to your 15 yr old son and ask him to sell it to me is wrong. Its upset the whole family and we don't know where to go from here so just after some advice on what you would do in our shoes? I also found a message off one of his friends saying " can your dad sort us out some green for a 10er" he's only seen his father twice in 2yrs so this has obviously only just started but can you imagine he'd got caught in school selling it for his scumbag father? that would havebeen his education gone! Any way i've calmed down a bit now as long as he don't come knocking my door trying to explain. Atb Kristian. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mushroom 12,871 Posted January 13, 2010 Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 Mate he's 15 and experimenting. If he's normaly a good lad, instead of shouting and bawling and giving him reason to tell porkies. Talk to him and educate (Don't patronise him we were once 15 and thought we knew it all) Firstly do it on your own in a chilled environment somewhere neutral away from his mam and accusations. gain his trust. As for his dad getting him to sell green I would deal with that myself pointless getting the ol bill involved as it could put your sons back up for being a grass and turn him away from you. The best advice is talk to him as somebody who knows what he wants (even if he dosen't). Know this if you ban him and go over the top about it he WILL do it behind your backs!!!!!!! Honesy is the way forward mate. ATVB Kie Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Richie10 345 Posted January 13, 2010 Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 Don't fly off the handle, don't get the police involved. Explain what could happen to him if caught and how life would change. Explain how he hasn't seen his Dad in 2 years and that he is using him. Then let him know that it is his decision for what he wants to do in life and that if he wants to go down this path you won't be there to support him. He probably won't listen like none of them do, but you had a go. Good Luck. I have 2 stepboys of 13 and 16. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nik_B 3,790 Posted January 13, 2010 Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 Mate that is f*&king disgusting! Phone the police again mate. You will need to talk with the lad though, you will need to be very very careful not to drive him in to that idiots arms. I recon that bloke is enjoying causing trouble, he cant be serious about being a father figure. You need serious legal advise and you could concider a restraining order? What does the lad think? I suppose he cant be blamed for being curious about him but was he smoking weed before he met him? For gods sake tread carefully and try to talk to the boy as best you can...on the other hand dont try and buy him back as this willl just end up in a mess. ATB! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted January 13, 2010 Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 if this scum bags got a probation officer i would contact them , enticing a 15 yr old lad with that crap is unforgivable , i would deffo speak to someone about ths creeps activaties ... the last thing you need is the lad f*****g up his exams for a bit of draw Dont let it beat you,, do everything in your power to protct the lad i have a 22 yr old junkie son who looks like a zombie because of that crap .....it breaks my heart to see him i did everything in my power to stop it but it wasnt enough Its not to late to sort the lad out... do it now take no shit .. you are his dad not that scumbag Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dog fox 16 Posted January 13, 2010 Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 (edited) i would say thats the norm for a 15 year old boy in this day an age ,wouldnt worry to much normally keeps them out of trouble if anything . i have 2 boys myself 22 and 18 and both of them smoke it ,its just something lads do at that age he will grow out off it one day ,at least normally they just stay in on the xbox and get stonned and you know were they are most of the time instead of wondering were they are and what they are up to ,as for his dad he,ll crawl back into the wood work when your lad starts hounding him for money all the time,and kay that doe,s surprise me that you got one too (lol) Edited January 13, 2010 by dog fox Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mwncidur 0 Posted January 13, 2010 Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 I feel for you bud. As others have said talk to the lad, whether he listens or not is another matter. Try and explain to him a bit about life as an adult. Things like getting a job, more and more jobs now a days require people to be CRB checked, imagine if he cant get his ideal job because of the weed he was selling for that scrote. Might be the sort of shock he needs? Good luck Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted January 13, 2010 Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 i would say thats the norm for a 15 year old boy in this day an age ,wouldnt worry to much normally keeps them out of trouble if anything . i have 2 boys myself 22 and 18 and both of them smoke it ,its just something lads do at that age he will grow out off it one day ,at least normally they just stay in on the xbox and get stonned and you know were they are most of the time instead of wondering were they are and what they are up to ,as for his dad he,ll crawl back into the wood work when your lad starts hounding him for money all the time,and kay that doe,s surprise me that you got one too (lol) My eldest lad was very like me as a teenager , very intrevert , and painfully shy , lacked confidence in himself , and struggled with life generally so it was a huge supprise to me that he had started to take the stuff as i simply couldnt bare the thought of not having control of what might be going on in my head after i had taken anything ... so basically other than a fag i have never taken anything mind altering Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kristian 9 Posted January 13, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 Cheers for the replies guys and gals, I've had a talk to him yesterday telling him that when he's old enough to smoke as long as he got a job and not bumming round if he decides to smoke then that'll be his choice but i've told him what will happen to him if he's caught with it/selling and that he will regret it for the rest of his life. He's told us that the scumbag offered him an ounce to get rid of but he told him he wouldn't do it.I'm not mad at him for trying it to me thats normal for a 15yr old i'm only 36 myself so understand it but find it difficult to understand what his scumish dad is doing. hopefully we've nipped it in the bud (pardon the pun). Years ago i used to smoke and quite a few of my friends still do, but they work and don't sell it. The thing is they are old enough to make their own decisions. we heard a few years ago that he was doing heroin but he wasn't bothering with my boy then so just kinda hoped he'd o.d on it. I'm affraid that he wil take my boy down the same road. If however that did happen i would do time for him because i know for a fact that would ruin his life! Thank again atb Kristian. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mushroom 12,871 Posted January 13, 2010 Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 At his age mate I was well off the rails, my parents bless 'em did everything they could. Still I've not turned out to bad so the family says. They all thought I'd be locked up but what I went through has given me a clear perspective for my children and how I'll educate them before they get tempted by peers. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
leegreen 2,152 Posted January 13, 2010 Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 Mate he's 15 and experimenting. If he's normaly a good lad, instead of shouting and bawling and giving him reason to tell porkies. Talk to him and educate (Don't patronise him we were once 15 and thought we knew it all) Firstly do it on your own in a chilled environment somewhere neutral away from his mam and accusations. gain his trust. As for his dad getting him to sell green I would deal with that myself pointless getting the ol bill involved as it could put your sons back up for being a grass and turn him away from you. The best advice is talk to him as somebody who knows what he wants (even if he dosen't). Know this if you ban him and go over the top about it he WILL do it behind your backs!!!!!!! Honesy is the way forward mate. ATVB Kie This is the best advice here and remember be as cool as you can. And his old man is a proper c-nt, sounds like a complete mug, I would like to cut his fecking lips off and watch him try and smoke a joint then the pri-k.........sorry got abit carried away then. ps I am not against recreational drugs if done in a responcable manner but selling weed to your impresionable 15 year old son............. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stubby 175 Posted January 13, 2010 Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 sorry mate, thats pure bollox though people saying its what lads do, I DID'NT, all my mates did,but not to say I should of too Id make sure you do things by the book, as already stated, try finding if he's on paroll, ask the coppers, get in touch with any youth offender places for help, smoking green may be nothing to alot, but it can lead to other stuff, plus other crimes years ago my missus and me split up, she took my youngest son, and her "new boyfriend" taught my boy how to go "on the nick" I founds out when the police phoned me to collect him, did it by the book and got full custody of both my sons, took a few years to get the nicking to stop, but he's now well on the right tracks Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kristian 9 Posted January 13, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 Good to see people giving me good advice. I don't want him throwing his life away so young, he has the whole world infront of him and i know he can become someone instead of a noone like his so called dad. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scent 509 Posted January 13, 2010 Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 bin there and done it myself pal.But now iv a son thats hittin a certain age i look back at my life and say to myself no way do i want my son doing anything like i was doing .Try do things by the book as some people have stated .Sit your son down and have a man to man chat with him about what his bio father is doing and explain to him that he could end up in prison again Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FightTheBan 1,147 Posted January 13, 2010 Report Share Posted January 13, 2010 (edited) .............. Edited January 15, 2010 by FightTheBan Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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