woodga 170 Posted September 25, 2006 Report Share Posted September 25, 2006 Subject: Don't Fart in Bed. (If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I ll pray for you.) This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you. " What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Shaman Posted September 25, 2006 Report Share Posted September 25, 2006 Nearly fookin wet miself :11: :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mistwalker 0 Posted September 25, 2006 Report Share Posted September 25, 2006 Fcukin magic! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bullsmilk 2 Posted September 25, 2006 Report Share Posted September 25, 2006 PISSED MY FECKING PANTS LOL Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jultaylor1972 2 Posted September 25, 2006 Report Share Posted September 25, 2006 That was very funny!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
diggory 130 Posted September 25, 2006 Report Share Posted September 25, 2006 :11: good un Quote Link to post Share on other sites
moonwalker 1 Posted September 25, 2006 Report Share Posted September 25, 2006 very good :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest oldskool Posted September 25, 2006 Report Share Posted September 25, 2006 heard that one,, very good Quote Link to post Share on other sites
red dog 3 Posted September 25, 2006 Report Share Posted September 25, 2006 nice one mate :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jpt 285 Posted September 25, 2006 Report Share Posted September 25, 2006 Its a cracker! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
towzer 3 Posted September 25, 2006 Report Share Posted September 25, 2006 :11: :11: f*****g classic colin :11: 1 of the funniest ive heard for a long time :11: ive covered the screen in guiness :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bandit 0 Posted September 25, 2006 Report Share Posted September 25, 2006 Classic, absolute classic Quote Link to post Share on other sites
buckshot 53 Posted September 26, 2006 Report Share Posted September 26, 2006 :11: :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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