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british humour


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Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque..

 

They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

 

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Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care...

 

One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma.

 

 

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During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.

 

A spokesman for the Birmingham City Council said 'We didn't even know they were living up there'.

 

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Asian Minorities in the UK have complained that there is not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.

 

 

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I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger haired kid, with two friends?

 

 

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I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.

 

 

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A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-yearold daughter.

 

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about Sex at that age."

 

"Curious about Sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"

 

 

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I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.

 

How could anyone stoop so low?

 

 

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I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

 

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

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