Twas the night before christmas

[John Keswick 119]

Twas the night before Christmas, Santa’s a wreck. How to live in a world – that’s politically correct! His workers no longer answer as Elf’s, “Vertically Challenged†they are calling themselves.

 

Labour conditions, at the North Pole, were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer vanished, without much propriety. Released! no doubt by the Humane Society.

 

Equal employment had made it quite clear that Santa had better not use "just" reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, were replaced with 4 pigs which looked pretty stupid!

 

The runners were removed from Santa’s great sleigh. The ruts were termed dangerous by the E. P. A. People had started to ring for the cops when they heard loud noises upon their rooftops.

 

To show the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing: “unauthorized use of noseâ€. Appearing on Oprah, in front of the nation, demanding millions for ‘just’ compensation.

 

Santa in pieces turned to his wife, who suddenly said she’d enough of this life, upon grabbing her bag, she left in whiz, demanding from now on her title was Ms.

 

And as for the gifts, why, he’d ne’er had a notion, that making a choice could cause so much commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, meant nothing for him and nothing for her.

 

Nothing that might be construed to pollute. Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot. Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.

 

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific. Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacific. No candy or sweets, they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

 

As for fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden. For they raised the hackles of those psychological who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

 

No baseball, no football, someone could get hurt, besides, playing sports exposes kids to dirt. Dolls were too sexist and should be passé and Nintendo would rot your poor brain away.

 

So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed. He just could not figure out what to do next. He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, BUT you’ve got to be careful with THAT WORD today.

 

His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground, nothing fully acceptable was to be found. Something special was needed, a gift that he might, give to all without angering left or right.

 

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision, each group of people, every religion; every ethnicity, every hue. Everyone, everywhere-even you.

So here is that gift, its price beyond worth. May you and your loved ones enjoy PEACE on this earth.

[FLEESNIPER 0]

cushty that pal

[craigyboy 1,274]

very good mate but its so sad that its true

[TOPPER 1,809]

class its just a shame its so so true

 

 

 

 

 

ps its not christmas now ITS A WINTER FESTIVAL in case you piss someone off

Edited December 15, 2009 by TOPPER

[The one 8,482]

[ilovedogsthatbite 0]

I like it mate nice one