Favourite limerick

[RicW 67]

OK GUYS AND GALS. We've had fave 60's songs, fave Dylan songs, fave fillums, fave TV progs . . . ya-di-da. Is there anybody else out there who likes limericks? Not too AH-Hem vulgar.

Just to kick off here's one of mine.

 

A young music teacher called Cleo,

Was seduced by a student from Rio.

As he pulled off her panties

She said no Andantes

Let's have it Allegro Con Brio.

 

Ric

[timjim 43]

she stood on the bridge at midnight

her lips were all a quiver

she gave a cough

her leg fell off

and floated down the river

[RicW 67]

she stood on the bridge at midnight

her lips were all a quiver

she gave a cough

her leg fell off

and floated down the river

That's a classic matey

[timjim 43]

one dark day, in the middle of the night

2 dead men got up to fight

back to back they faced one another

drew their knives and shot each other

[scent 509]

there was ayoung girl from madrid

who said she"d never get rid

when along came an italian with balls like a stallion

and rode her like billy the kid

Edited September 3, 2009 by scent

[perks 0]

There was a girl from azores

whos fanny was covered in sores

even the dog on the steet wouldnt eat the green meat that hung in festoons from her draws

[martin 332]

There was a young man from Belgrave

That found a dead whore in a cave

It takes lots of pluck to havea cold f**k

But think of the money you'd save.

:clapper: :clapper: :clapper:

[martin 332]

There was a young man from Cosham

Who took out his bollcks to wash'em

His wife said Jack,if you don't put 'em back

I'll throw 'em on the floor and squash'em

[martin 332]

There was a young woman from Brewer

That poxed everything that went throught her

The smell of her twat killed a f*****g gert rat

That lived thirty years in the sewer

[thepriest 0]

There was a young girl from Penzance.

Who got on a bus in a trance.

She eyed up the conductor.

Who proceeded to f@@k her.

And the driver he came in his pants.

 

 

 

There was a young man from Calcutta.

Found a hole so he peeped through the shutter.

But all he could see, Was a womens knee.

And the arse of the bloke that was up her.

[Kay 3,709]

Zippy and Bungle were in the jungle,

drinking a bottle of rum,

zippy got silly

and pulled out his willy,

and stuck it up bungles bum.

[undisputed 1,664]

There was an old woman from spain

who jumped on the back of a train

the train gave a grunt

an she fell on her c**t

now the old cow has to walk hame

 

or

 

On yonder hill there stood a dookit

its no there noo cause someone took it

[Swift 0]

I once met a bloke called tim

i threw tomtoes at 'im

tomatoes are soft and dont brake the skin

but these fuckers did they were still in the tin.

[martin 332]

There was a fair maiden called Heather

Whose labia were fashioned in leather.

She made a strange noise,

Which attracted the boys,

By flapping the edges together.

[martin 332]

There was a young gaucho called Bruno

Who said, 'There's one thing that I do know.

A woman is fine,

A boy is divine,

But a llama is numero uno.