Guest STORM CHASER Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 Paddy & Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube & Mick came on the bus!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink. He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!" Paddy handed his drink back & said "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Paddy & Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!" He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts "I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!" Murphy watches in amazement! The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home" So he leaves the site. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well. "Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman. "I cant work in the friggin dark! " says Murphy. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing sex Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are getting on" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies on the bed spreadeagled & says "You know what I want don't you?" "Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. Whats a Catholic priest & a pint of Guiness got in common? A. Black coat, white collar & you've got to watch your arse if you get a dodgy one! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. Prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbours dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says "To hell with this!" & storms off. He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks "What did you do?" Paddy replies "Ive put the dog in our garden, lets see how they like it!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ An Irishman is shagging a Jewish girl & says "You're not very tight for a Jew!" She says "Well you're not very thick for a Paddy!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stealthy1 3,964 Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ROUGH COATED Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 Very good Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,484 Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 :clapper: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nightshiner 2 Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
huntingkid 0 Posted September 4, 2009 Report Share Posted September 4, 2009 nice 1 mate a few good ones there Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martyn789 0 Posted September 4, 2009 Report Share Posted September 4, 2009 nice one Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dogman27 0 Posted September 4, 2009 Report Share Posted September 4, 2009 good one :clapper: :clapper: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
carrieann 0 Posted September 20, 2009 Report Share Posted September 20, 2009 (edited) An irish/scots/english/welsh man (whatever you want him to be) was on bondai beach walking along and he noticed no women were even taken a second look so he asked the lifeguard " how do you get the chicks attention around here" lifeguard replies " well mate wear speedos two sizes too small and put a potato down em" so the next day hes walking along with the speedos and potato and all the women are laughing and turning away he goes up to lifeguard and sayed " its not working there all laughing" lifeguard replies " mate ....your supposed to put the potato in the front of your speedos" Edited September 20, 2009 by carrieann Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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