I hope this works and is taken in the right way!!

[Pumper dog 0]

How true. . . ?

 

Some interesting, if slightly cynical thoughts!

 

 

THE SQUIRREL

 

 

REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:

 

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long,

 

building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the

 

winter.

 

 

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays

 

the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

 

The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in

 

the cold.

 

THE END

 

 

THE BRITISH VERSION:

 

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long,

 

building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

 

 

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays

 

the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

 

 

………AND HERE'S WHERE IT ALL GOES WRONG!!!

 

 

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press

 

conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to

 

be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the

 

grasshopper, are cold and starving.

 

 

The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering

 

grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable

 

warm home with a table laden with food.

 

The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in

 

a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer

 

so while others have plenty.

 

 

The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper

 

Council of Great Britain demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.

 

The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill

 

with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We

 

Shall Overcome".

 

 

Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the

 

squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for

 

an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share"

 

and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London.

 

 

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the

 

Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive

 

to the beginning of the summer.

 

 

The squirrel's taxes are reassessed.

 

 

He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as

 

builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine

 

for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to

 

work.

 

 

 

The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to

 

furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be

 

socially mobile.

 

 

The squirrels' food is seized and re distributed to the more needy

 

members of society, - in this case the grasshopper.

 

 

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his

 

newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and

 

start building a new home.

 

 

The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a

 

temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to

 

get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with

 

mice. On arrival, they tried to blow up the airport because of

 

Britain's apparent love of dogs.

 

 

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of

 

hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because

 

the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody.

 

Initial moves to then return them to their own country were

 

abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice.

 

The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples

 

credit cards.

 

 

A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the

 

squirrels food, though spring is still months away, while the council

 

house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to

 

maintain it. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers' drug “illness”.

 

 

The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment

 

since arrival in the UK.

 

 

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks.

 

He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and

 

supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a

 

botched robbery.

 

 

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000

 

and state the obvious, is set up.

 

 

Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme

 

for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum

 

seekers is increased.

 

 

The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

 

 

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the

 

press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the

 

root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic

 

experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.

 

 

 

 

The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were

 

infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice

 

in the United Kingdom.

 

 

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the

 

bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on theur credit cards to cover losses. Their taxes are

 

increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will

 

have to work beyond the age of 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.

 

 

ONLY THE BEGINNING.........???

[Guest The Shaman]

My my someone is cynical :11:

 

Ain't it the fooking truth tho.

[Guest MOLLY]

MOLL.

[jimmyg 6]

That story just about sums up this country nowadays!! :realmad: