dave88
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Everything posted by dave88
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How many coppers does it take to push a black man down the stairs......none, he fell
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Not just accepted but widely encouraged
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A couple gets married. Forty years later, they're in the same hotel room they spent their honeymoon in. She takes off her clothes, lies down on the bed, spreads her legs.... and he starts to cry. She says, "What's the matter?" He says, "Forty years ago, I couldn't wait to eat it, and now it looks like it can't wait to eat me!"
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A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening; she was knitting and he was reading the latest issue of Farmer's Weekly. He looked up from the page and said to her, "Did you know that humans are the only species in which the female achieves orgasm?" She looked at him wistfully, smiled, and replied, "Oh yes? Prove it." He frowned for a moment, then said, "Okay." He then got up and walked out, leaving his wife with a confused look on her face. About a half an hour later, he returned all tired and sweaty and proclaimed, "Well I'm sure the cow and sheep didn't, but the way tha
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Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional." The second guy says, "I'm a DINK. You know, double income, no kids." The third guy says, "I'm a RUB. You know, rich urban biker." They turn to the woman and ask, "So what are you?" The woman replies, "I'm a WIFE. You know - Wash, Iron, F***, Etc."
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A boy asks his dad, Whats the difference between potential and realistic? The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if theyd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then hed tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would! He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, Brad Pitt? Hell ya, hes the hottest guy ever! Next, the boy asks his brother who replies, A million dollars? Hell yes I would. Id be rich! When t
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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!
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They might be a few fries short of a happy meal but at least it takes a certain amount of strength and discipline...one fad' I've never understood is planking...its just weird and pointless
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In breaking news, Trump's personal library has burned down The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist he hadn't even finished coloring the second one
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I had a quick look online and I don't think it's a "real" word as such . Think somebody wrote a book and created words for situationsAhhh ok, that'll be why I've never heard it then lol
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Not a rugby fan, then?! yeah i play for my town (2nd row) but he's not even as famous as a celebrity from big brother.to me grief is personal and yet everybody tries to jump on the bandwagon for somebody that they've never met.sometimes it seems like a competition to see who can greve the most. World Cup winning Springbok not famous? Maybe you prefer big brother. I prefer rugby. Who said anything about grieving except you? point taken men and i'll recognise his talent and thanks for teaching me to spell grieving but if you want to spell griev it don't look right. Grieve...has an
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Not a rugby fan, then?! yeah i play for my town (2nd row) but he's not even as famous as a celebrity from big brother.to me grief is personal and yet everybody tries to jump on the bandwagon for somebody that they've never met.sometimes it seems like a competition to see who can greve the most. People grieve celebrities for different reasons...maybe they lost someone close to a similar illness...or maybe it's just out of respect for the dead. Who are you to belittle people just cos they don't share your views on the subject...RIP
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these are children your talking about its no there fault the men out there are dogs, or does;nt it matter to you because there not british children "not happening to our children" It is though these f***ing animals have groomed raped and tortured 1,000s of british children All the more reason to have an opinion
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these are children your talking about its no there fault the men out there are dogs, or does;nt it matter to you because there not british children Exactly my thoughts...You're mentality gnasher seems to be "not happening to our children so there's no need to voice your disgust or have an opinion". Like it was said...it's not their fault that the men in these countries can be wrong'uns
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Why don't you see see churches with free WiFi? Cos no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works
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Husband and wife are shopping in Tesco's when the man picks up a crate of Stella and sticks them into the trolley 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife 'They're on offer, only £8 for 24 cans', he says 'Put them back. We can't afford it,' says the wife and they carry on shopping... A few aisles later the woman picks up a £15 jar of face cream and sticks it into the trolley. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the man, 'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' she says. The man replies... 'so does 24 cans of Stella and it's half f***ing price
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One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
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How do Chinese people name their babies? They throw them down the stairs to see what noise they make.
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"https://www.youtube.com/embed/dG7Rl3qxUqY"
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Usually see one when fishing and end up feeding them half my maggots
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Have a good'un yourself mate
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If I've misunderstood you then I apologise
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I understand that maybe a detterent would help but exposing kids to blood and gore from a young age is not the way to go about it
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My eyes are open mate and all I'm seeing is a muppet in front of me telling everyone to expose their kids to that kind of sick material from a young age...do you have kids? The job of a parent is to safe guard their kids from stuff like this, not expose them to it
